Not So Fine Print - Assembly Instructions

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Not So Fine Print - Assembly Instructions

I had a Misfortune and/or Misadventure buying and installing a Baby Gate in a doorway.

Regalo brand from Walmart.
The Instruction sheet has several languages.
All in VERY SMALL PRINT.
Their font size is noticeably SMALLER than that of the "LIBERTY" printed on a United States Quarter Dollar.

In addition to the Instruction Sheet were two INCORRECT unmentioned strips
detailing mounting hole placements for hardware to be installed on the walls.
These had instructions to "cut here" for floor.
Put edge on floor with strip running up the wall for mounting.

Oh so Simple - BRAVO SIERRA!

Marked Hole Pattern was WRONG!
Both paper strips were the same.
But, the lower bracket for one side had DIFFERENT screw Spacing.
The hardware mounting for the second wall is
DRILL TO FIT after hanging the gate on hinges mounted on first wall.
Yes the first wall was the one with the wrong hole pattern.

I will skip further details of this FIASCO!

Bekeart
 
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Blame it on my cousin

Most manufacturer's assembly directions cover multiple models which adds to the confusion. The ones for florescent lights were horrible. I learned not to even look at them.

Several years ago, I got a call from my cousin in Texas. I think she was in the Houston area but I don't recall. We don't talk often and we were catching up.

She had a degree in english/literature and had gotten a job writing assembly manuals. I found this interesting and inquired further. Apparently, the design engineers write down the initial directions and then my cousin "translated" the directions from geek to layman's terms for the general public.

Knowing my cousin, I'm sure something was lost in the translation!

So there you go... the next time you're gnashing your teeth, you can blame it on my cousin! ;):D:D:D
 
I have had a lot of put together prodjects, that arived at the house
that my wife "Needed"
from tables, end stands, a PC desk with sliding keyboard sectipn, cd storage and bottom right storage space with a door.

I found on thing out in most of these units and their instructions.

After the unit was instaled and all parts used up, after looking and a little thinking;

there is usually a better and faster way to put the object together !!

I always count the number of nuts and bolts, etc,
BEFORE I start the prodject.

Have fun.
 
Response from customer service which is located in a Tianjin suburb:


Instruction write good. Print size fine for young man with age for baby. Old man not need baby gate. If old man use, have young man read. Old man can read wrong and not do right.
Hole must be in right spot. Move hole in wrong spot to right spot install screw. Warranty void if screw wrong spot. Do not screw wrong screw right.
Thank you contact us.
 
Most manufacturer's assembly directions cover multiple models which adds to the confusion. The ones for florescent lights were horrible. I learned not to even look at them.

Several years ago, I got a call from my cousin in Texas. I think she was in the Houston area but I don't recall. We don't talk often and we were catching up.

She had a degree in english/literature and had gotten a job writing assembly manuals. I found this interesting and inquired further. Apparently, the design engineers write down the initial directions and then my cousin "translated" the directions from geek to layman's terms for the general public.

Knowing my cousin, I'm sure something was lost in the translation!

So there you go... the next time you're gnashing your teeth, you can blame it on my cousin! ;):D:D:D


I've done a lot of writing converting intense geekspeak that turns everything into rocket surgery into something understandable by the people paying for the work. The two classic habits of geekspeak are unnecessary detail and repeating 80% of what was stated in the previous sentence. Then there is the sad fact that many engineers cannot spell worth a damn. It was a boss from long ago with this latter failing that got me into report writing and editing game. A short example is needed.

Geekspeak:

Take the galvanised pressed steal sporadic mandragular brakket and, using 8x20mm high tenzile bolts, 8mm nuts and 8mm washers, attach the forgged and electrophorically treeted sporadic mandragular brakket strengthening gusset.

Steve's version, complete with illustration parts, both separate and assembled:

Attach Part A to Part B using the supplied fasteners.

Mr Self Assembly does not need to know what the parts are called in engineering speak, nor how they were made and treated to resist rust. He also doesn't want to be forced into deciphering the geek's version of English.
 
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A friend of mine had an elaborate wood filing cabinet that must have used 100-150 slats. Someone had assembled a few pieces then it sat until the destructions were lost! I assembled it for her from a pic of the finished product with two pieces of wood left over. She was thrilled until a week later when I cracked a joke about spare parts…me and my big mouth lol
(No I’m not taking it all apart and reassembling it,you arent that cute!)
 
Several years ago, I got a call from my cousin in Texas. I think she was in the Houston area but I don't recall. We don't talk often and we were catching up.

She had a degree in english/literature and had gotten a job writing assembly manuals. I found this interesting and inquired further. Apparently, the design engineers write down the initial directions and then my cousin "translated" the directions from geek to layman's terms for the general public...
Most engineers are fluent in geekspeak because they spend so much of their time with other engineers and they are all in LOVE with numbers and technology, but they couldn't write instructions on how to open a bag of chips.

I'm a weird engineer. I look at things analytically and think in terms of numbers. I can do the math and always got good math grades. BUT, I'm NOT in love with numbers. I actually like writing better. Like I said, I'm a weird engineer.
 
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I've done a lot of writing converting intense geekspeak that turns everything into rocket surgery into something understandable by the people paying for the work. The two classic habits of geekspeak are unnecessary detail and repeating 80% of what was stated in the previous sentence. Then there is the sad fact that many engineers cannot spell worth a damn. It was a boss from long ago with this latter failing that got me into report writing and editing game.

Most engineer are fluent in geekspeak because they spend so much of their time with other engineers and they are all in LOVE with numbers and technology, but they couldn't write instructions on how to open a bag of chips.

I'm a weird engineer. I look at things analytically and think in terms of numbers. I can do the math and always got good math grades. BUT, I'm NOT in love with numbers. I actually like writing better. Like I said, I'm a weird engineer.

HaHaHa :D:D:D:D I thought somebody would like me referring to this as 'geek' language.
 
Most instruction sheets are written by people who's first language is not English.
Amen to that. This is the instruction sheet that came with a piece of equipment for my gf's lab, written in "almost English."

attachment.php


Still, it's better than the instructions that came with my Chinese-knockoff Vevor diesel heater, which had the added distinction of being printed at low resolution in small, serif type.

And the manual for my first VanTrue dash cam was so poorly written that I re-wrote it and sent it to them- because it was actually a very good dashcam, only let down by poor English. They apparently appreciated the effort because they sent me a 10,000mAH 12v portable power "brick"!
 

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Speaking of instructions, how many Chinese does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 
Attach Part A to Part B using the supplied fasteners.

Mr Self Assembly does need to know what the parts are called in engineering speak, nor how they were made and treated to resist rust. He also doesn't want to be forced into deciphering the geek's version of English.

Steve,

I'm pretty certain you wanted to include "not" between 'does' and 'need' above. Pardon me for correcting things; I've made the omission-of-a-word mistake MANY times & am always very unhappy with myself for doing so. Please disregard if you're not that way. I like your post a great deal, by the way.

Regards,
Andy
 
Steve,

I'm pretty certain you wanted to include "not" between 'does' and 'need' above. Pardon me for correcting things; I've made the omission-of-a-word mistake MANY times & am always very unhappy with myself for doing so. Please disregard if you're not that way. I like your post a great deal, by the way.

Regards,
Andy


Good catch, and this is why we have reviewers.:D
 


I've been thinking of turning my patio into a chemical industry environment, but I don't know how to anglicize it. Any ideas? -right now it's too German to suit me.

Regards,
Andy






P.S. Maybe I shouldn't make fun; I sure wouldn't want to have to learn English.
 

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