Now,this is FUNNY!

[fat tom]

Sent to me by a forum friend. Sure put a smile on MY face. Hope it does the same for y'all (you older guys will understand).



A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing
God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten
her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she
might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"

(You'll love this)......





God replied: "I didn't recognize you."



f.t.

 

[spricks]

Now that's worth sharing for sure.... Thanks fat tom!

 

[dben002]

Local pastor always rode his bike every where he went. He would ride it to the grocery store, the pharmacy, Wal-Mart, to the movies, and to visit with church members. When asked why he did not use a car he replied that he loved the outdoors air and riding the bike keep him in good shape.

One day he was spotted walking by one of the church members, and was asked why he was walking and not riding his bike... He replied that his bike has been stolen.

The church member suggested that on Sunday, he should preach about the 10 commandants and when he got to the 8th (thou shall not steal) he should really bring up the heat and preach with fire and brimstone about stealing and just maybe the person that stole his bike would feel guilty and return it if it were taken by a member of the church....

The pastor though that to be a great idea, so Sunday in chruch he stood up to preach and ran through the 10 commandants, but on the 8th commandant he spoke very softly and spent little time on the commandment.

Upon leaving church that Sunday, the church member who suggested this sermon inquired as to why the pastor spent such little time on the commandment and spoke so gently about it....

The pastor said well....the truth be told when I got to the 7th commandment (thy shall not commit adultry I remembered where I left it....................

 

[billwill]

Thanks guys....two good ones