Post your favorite Dad Jokes...

[Beemerguy53]

Let's have a little fun...post your Dad Jokes...

I'll start...

How do snails fight?

They slug it out!

 

[Rustyt1953]

Every joke dad ever told me ended with: "don't tell that'un to your mother".

 

[Rustyt1953]

Two peanuts were walking down a road.

One of them was a salted.

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[Rustyt1953]

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

[BigBelle]

Why is Peter Pan always flying? because he Neverlands.

 

[Jinglebob]

Years ago I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to the local bar which was two blocks from the house.
I got him a Modelo. He didn't like it... so I drank it.
I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Jim Beam,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.

 

[s&wchad]

I was my favorite “dad” joke!
I was born in the 1950’s, when he and my mother were in their late 40’s.
They had 4 sons and the next youngest was 11 years older than me.

Surprise, surprise!!!

 

[Jinglebob]

I was my favorite “dad” joke!
I was born in the 1950’s, when he and my mother were in their late 40’s.
They had 4 sons and the next youngest was 11 years older than me.

Surprise, surprise!!!

I hear you. When my youngest daughter was born, my oldest was starting high school and my youngest was in junior high.

 

[pawngal]

I was my favorite “dad” joke!
I was born in the 1950’s, when he and my mother were in their late 40’s.
They had 4 sons and the next youngest was 11 years older than me.

Surprise, surprise!!!

Similar case here, My Dad was in his mid 50's, my sisters are 14 & 15 years older than me.

 

[Beemerguy53]

How do you catch a unique animal?

You neek up on him...

 

[cadmike]

What’s the janitor say when he jumps out of the closet?

“SUPPLIES!!!”

 

[WardenRoss]

How do you top a car?




You tep on da brakes.





,

 

[ZGrand]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $2.59 a pound. Deer nuts are under a buck.

 

[9mmPatriot]

How do you catch a unique animal?

You neek up on him...

And how do you catch a tame animal?


Tame way....

 

[dirty & hairy]

Did you hear about the origami teacher that quit?

Too much paperwork.

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[Kevin J.]

Why do, I keeping coming back to this post?????

 

[Rustyt1953]

Why do, I keeping coming back to this post?????

TWS..

Train Wreck Syndrome.

 

[yaktamer]

Not really a Dad joke per se, but last night my teenage daughter sent me a text letting me know her flight from Boise had landed. I responded, "And boy, are your arms tired." She didn't get it.