Preemptive Come backs!

[Ivan the Butcher]

We had a party for when my youngest son got engaged. His two oldest brothers had not met the young lady yet. However that didn't stop them from coming up with smart butt lines to pick on their future sister-in-law! I texted Lori to warn her of the environment she would soon enter. She texted back, "Good, No Worries!"

As she sat in the crowd of family and introductions were made, she sat next to #2 son and said, "It is nice to meet you, I cure cancer, What is it you do for a living?" His computer nerd skillset left him high and dry!

SOOOO, when you are entering a conversation that you know you are going to be slammed, How to you seize control first?

Ivan

 

[lihpster]

Usually by the neck.

I don't get invited alot of places.

 

[NYlakesider]

We had a party for when my youngest son got engaged. His two oldest brothers had not met the young lady yet. However that didn't stop them from coming up with smart butt lines to pick on their future sister-in-law! I texted Lori to warn her of the environment she would soon enter. She texted back, "Good, No Worries!"

As she sat in the crowd of family and introductions were made, she sat next to #2 son and said, "It is nice to meet you, I cure cancer, What is it you do for a living?" His computer nerd skillset left him high and dry!

SOOOO, when you are entering a conversation that you know you are going to be slammed, How to you seize control first?

Ivan

Well being at least a triple AAA personality I usually do not get slammed. When a attempt happens I normally can come back with a fast and sharp rebound.''

We played what was known as dozens in school (50s to 60s) and I was rather formidable.

 

[mmb617]

I'm just about impossible to offend and I'm not afraid to tell someone what I really think, so I don't run into that problem.

 

[swsig]

Although I am an exceedingly nice person , I am not afraid to confront the slammer after a slam. I ignore the content of their slam, and focus on the process they used. For example, I might say, "It sounds like you are playing a 'holier-than-thou' status game. Why are you doing that?" Even if they don't give up at that point and they come up with another slam in retort, they are usually befuddled enough to take their time about it. That gives me time to think up of an even better response. If I keep calling them on the process, they'll eventually tire of the game and quit.

 

[Walter Rego]

People that attempt to verbally joust with me usually end up skewered.
A skill I acquired at a very early age and fortified with a large vocabulary.

 

[GypsmJim]

Comeback:

"No, I don't cure cancer, but I have other talents that you probably only dreamed of"

 

[375hh1973]

I just start letting the F bombs fly.

 

[S42N8]

Mine generally starts with "They called me mad at the University" and continues with a question about their ancestry. Usually doesn't end well, but sometimes it's not the destination, but the journey.

 

[Doug627]

When I first met my wife's family, it was Christmas Eve. Everyone met me at the door. As I was being introduced, her maternal grandmother came up slowly with her walker. Everyone made way for her and in an overly loud voice she said to me: "I don't like beards!" Without hesitation, I replied: "That's good because you can't grow one." Grandma's mouth dropped open and there was dead silence. And so it went . . .

 

[Justin T]

I let them have their smugness and slam them later when the time is right, so that it has a bigger effect.

 

[mmb617]

People that attempt to verbally joust with me usually end up skewered.
A skill I acquired at a very early age and fortified with a large vocabulary.

Always fun if your retort contains a word or words that you are certain they don't know. It's really hard to come back if they don't know the exact nature of the insult.

 

[Nightowl]

I usually think of a great comeback------2 days later!!!

 

[glenwolde]

I don't have a problem with that, and I don't have to say a word. Of course I generally don't have much to say in any situation unless something really gets out of hand. My wife says I have a "presence" but I'm not sure what it is.

 

[Infidel137]

I usually think of a great comeback------2 days later!!!

L'esprit de l'escalier, at which I am a distinguished expert....

 

[Marshwheeling]

"We'll get along a lot better if you don't try to patronize me".

One of my favorites, not quite what you are looking for, but fun.

"Your zipper is down".
"Thank you for noticing".
My boy overheard me the first time I delivered that one, and he fell out laughing. It's nice to be able to set a good example for your kids.

 

[ExcitableBoy]

My usual is: "I know the answer to Life, The Universe--- and Everything..."

It makes for a very brief engagement with nosey boors.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

As I said to my last employer when I resigned on the spot because of what I am quite sure was the systematic abuse, maltreatment, and efforts to intimidate both employees and patients:

"You know what I've learned working here? You can take Armando out of the street, but you can't take the street out of Armando."

 

[Baggy Wrinkle]

In the past I sometimes met folks who are really full of themselves, usually doctors and lawyers, who told me great they are. Then when they finally ask me what I do, I tell the truth. "I design and build warships." That usually produces a stunned look on their faces.

Now that I am retired, I respond - "nothing" - then thank them for paying into the Social Security Trust Fund so that I can get my SS check on a regular basis.

 

[SMSgt]

My wife says I scare people. I don't know what to make of that, but as long as they leave me alone...

Tact is the skill of telling people to go to hell and making them look forward to the trip.