Proper english for Forums

REM 3200

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I think these rules may help. :)


1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And the last one...

31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
 
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I take umbrage with #6: "Always avoid annoying alliteration"

Alliteration is usually, even if uncharacteristically or unreliably, indicative of an author's use, on occasion, or even often, of artful arrangement of equal or equivalent phonemes...
 
"This is a situation up with which I will not put."

Possibly said by Winston Churchill about ending a sentence with a preposition.
 
Wonderful thread. I ALWAYS adhere to ALL the rules of anglais, & don't never, ever, ever (except where, for the sake of clarity, it is deemed to be, more or less, desirable) break any of the rules. At the end of the day, I feel like a fish out of water when I enter into a conversational discourse, tête a tête or by means of the electric telephone or electronic transfer of literary material in a written format via my computing device, with another individual personage who, for whatever reason. can’t or won’t comply with the rules of correct usage. On the other hand I sometimes find someone who uses la langue anglaise correctly. Wonderful. I then feel that we are like two peas in a pod. I find that it is possible to intelligently and intellectually exchange des petits mots agréable with them. I write a lot. Most of my literary work is done in an elevator. I find it very uplifting.

It is my mission to enlighten the entire populace of the English speaking global community as to the correct usage of the English language, both in the written and, needless to say, spoken format, and I will not rest on my laurels until this task is absolutely completed. Not just partially. Peeple should right and speek proper. Eveyone nose I am write. Conversation should flow like music played on a piano. Upright but not grand.

Am I biting off more than I can chew?

I have poof red this sevral times, so i no there are know miss-steaks.
 
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So, if I understand this correctly, (and I think that I due) we ain't gonna use Smith "&" Wesson no more and will now spel it Smith "and" Wesson.

Correct?

And I hope everyone follows this concept.:D
 
Rem3200,
I like your stuff man. We also have got to stop using two verbs together.
 
And all y'all (or youns) that ain't plum famil'r with pourshuns of talking from parts of da country y'all ain't neer been- don't y'all use it. Leave it up to us'n prefessonuls. :)
 
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