Punography

[sipowicz]

 

[Ogandydancer]

Thanks these are priceless. Saved for later use.

 

[boatme99]

A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club"

 

[boatme99]

It was Docs habit to stop in the local bar after work every day, and have a hazelnut daiquiri.
The bartender would have Docs drink on the Bar at precisely 5:30, waiting for him.
One day, the bartender realized he was out of hazelnut syrup. Thinking quickly, he came up with a substitute.
Upon arriving, Doc took up his regular seat at the bar, took a sip of his drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
To which the bartender replied,

"No, I'm sorry, it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

 

[vigil617]

A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club"

Now that's funny right there! Not a pun, but funny!

 

[TenTea]

Puns are the lowest form of humor...and I like them!

 

[handejector]

Puns are the lowest form of humor...and I like them!

I disagree.
They often require a rather sophisticated command of the language. I make them when I can and find it rather amusing when people don't get them.

You should change your opinion to match my fact.
I'm willing to make as many posts as it takes to accomplish that end.
DON'T MAKE ME USE ALL CAPS!
I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND GO BOLD IF I NEED TO!
IF I DO THAT, YOU WILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME!


(relate this second paragraph to another current thread )

 

[TenTea]

I disagree.
They often require a rather sophisticated command of the language. I make them when I can and find it rather amusing when people don't get them.

You should change your opinion to match my fact.
I'm willing to make as many posts as it takes to accomplish that end.
DON'T MAKE ME USE ALL CAPS!
I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND GO BOLD IF I NEED TO!
IF I DO THAT, YOU WILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME!


(relate this second paragraph to another current thread )

Allow me to rephrase...

It is oft stated: puns are the lowest form of humor.
I like them and I disagree.

 

[MOONDAWG]

"He who would post a pun would pick a pocket."

I plagiarized that from "Master and Commander"

 

[JayAychOh]

"He who would post a pun would pick a pocket."

I plagiarized that from "Master and Commander"

You beat me to it, Moondawg. ......the lesser of two weevils.

 

[g8rb8]

"A baby seal walks into a bar, the bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club"

Now that's funny right there! Not a pun, but funny!

vigil617,
I'm no pun expert but I'm not sure why the "Canadian Club" reference doesn't qualify as a pun?

Pot is any easy one to make a pun about.
How about?:
They're going to pot smoking it.

or a visual pun:
SMOKIN' POT

John
Pun Illiterate

 

[just jim]

Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "why the long face?"

 

[Comrad]

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

 

[boatme99]

"He who would post a pun would pick a pocket."

I plagiarized that from "Master and Commander"

Now that's low.






Is this all the cash you've got?

 

[Wyatt Burp]

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a tricycle and a shabbily dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

 

[kozmic]

I once knew a horse named Napoleon because of all his bonepartes.

 

[kozmic]

I disagree.
They often require a rather sophisticated command of the language. I make them when I can and find it rather amusing when people don't get them.

You should change your opinion to match my fact.
I'm willing to make as many posts as it takes to accomplish that end.
DON'T MAKE ME USE ALL CAPS!
I'M WILLING TO DO IT AND GO BOLD IF I NEED TO!
IF I DO THAT, YOU WILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME!



(relate this second paragraph to another current thread )

Is this topic open for debate, comment, disagreement, discussion, poignant conversation, clarification or argument?

At least allow me to repeatedly point out in simple, but emphatic terms where and why you are flat-out wrong.

 

[boatme99]

Descartes walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies, "I think not." POOF, he disappears.

 

[zzzippper]

A little boy was walking down the street carrying a bag. Whatever was in the bag was wiggling around. Curious, a man stopped him and asked what was in the bag. The kid opened it and, "Puppies, see mister?" The man commented at how cute they were and asked their names. "That one is Fido, that one Spot, and that one Liberace. "Liberace?", the man asked, what kind of name is that for a puppy. "Cuz he's the pianist of the bunch."

My only distinction in high school was to be voted worst puns and worst jokes. I think it is the only way anyone even knew who I was.

 

[CoMF]

I heard this joke about Ebola once... You probably won't get it.