SOUTHERN STYLE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

[LouisianaJoe]

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN STYLE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazines.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Virgil, Erra, T-Bone and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and a gallon of sweet tea. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

 

[WrongWay]

I think that would work just about anywhere with a few name changes.

 

[OK Hog Shooter]

I liiiiike that! I like it a lot...

Hog

 

[Martimus]

And maybe having this playing in the background on the TV?

Deliverance: Dueling Banjos - YouTube

Awesome piece of music but it sure makes me feel all rednecky when I listen to it!

 

[DeadAye]

My B-I-L has something similar on his door -- He doesn't even know a Janet

*Janet, DO NOT GO IN !! - I'm going to the hospital - The snakes got out somehow !!!*

 

[diamonback68]

But, you guys are all assuming the bad guys can read.

 

[fiasconva]

Nah, nobody'd believe that. You spelled everything correctly.

 

[handejector]

And maybe having this playing in the background on the TV?

Deliverance: Dueling Banjos - YouTube
Awesome piece of music but it sure makes me feel all rednecky when I listen to it!

I thawt ya wanted ta sceer 'em, not romance 'em.

 

[Marshwheeling]

I think that would work just about anywhere with a few name changes.

Me 'n Erho went to get some snoose. Ragnar, Donder, Blitzen and Trygve are locked in the hus, and they are waiting for me to bring back some lyttefisk with. Dey're really hungry. Lena is dere too, with a bottle akvit and a cleaver. Ve're vaiting for her to pass out before we try to get back in de hus.

 

[Penmon]

What happens if they can't read, wear that size shoe them self's
and collect dog bowls?

 

[GaryShepard]

Hollywood residential locksmith
On some houses there security questions to identify if you really are the owner of the house before entering. this is really important to secure everything inside the house.