Uh oh. In trouble again.
Years ago, like right now, the feral government raised taxes on sin. I'm guessing maybe this same time period in 1992 or so, they increased the tax on booze and every wholesaler and retailer with unsold stock on hand had to pay a "floor tax" on every bottle they had on hand. It required at tax return, specifically listing an arcane unit of measure, a proof gallon, and a tax on it.
A family friend managed a liquor store, a big one. She'd contacted their CPA, and about everyone else in the business trying to get help and failed. When I heard of her plight, I told her I could do that. It was easy. Of course she needed to take an inventory of everything on hand (she knew that), and it had to list both proof and volume. The "bidders" had given her a price in the thousands of dollars. Worse, they couldn't even promise her a time they could complete it.
So she took her inventory and got me a copy the next evening. I took it home, set up a Lotus spread sheet. My wife said she'd key the stuff in (thousands of different items). Within 2 days she was finished and the work was done. I made a special trip to drop it off. Our friend was pretty skeptical because everyone else had said it would take weeks to months.
She took it to her CPA, who looked it over and asked for our program (to use for himself.) Big deal, it took about a half hour to write.
We did the thing to get her out of a jam. She went to the owner and asked how to pay me. He knew me and said "oh, just give him some beer, he saved us thousands." So a few nights later they stuffed my poor old Jeep to the gills with the left over green Miller Lite from St Paddy's day.
We're talking 15 or 20 cases of cans.
And what did ole Dick do with it? First, not really my brand, but free is good. I had my son and his friend haul me and the Breswkies to a Jeep parts swap meet, horseshoe throwing and beer drinking contest. The competition was heavy, but I was acclaimed the winner. None of us could see to throw horseshoes after a while. Some tried. But the conclusion is anyone who brings in that much beer should win. If only to encourage the bringing of free beer to any event.
Hint: if you're consuming the stuff outdoors after dark, you don't even notice the color.
