The things you find out after someone dies...

[Ματθιας]

My uncle died earlier this month and things are coming out that no one knew about. Heard rumors, but nothing confirmed.

My uncle died without a will.

He had no family, but we found out that he had two kids out of wedlock. I met one of them last year. She came looking for her bio-daddy and came all the way from North Carolina. She's really nice and like me, she's adopted. There's another daughter who showed up just as my uncle was on his way out. She's from Georgia, I think. I didn't meet her. Her showing up was perfect timing!

My uncle wasn't, let's say he wasn't pleasant to be around and basically alienated everyone. He was a big trash talker, so no-one knew if what he was saying was true.

I didn't have anything to do with him because when I was a kid he'd say stuff to me in Spanish, basically insulting me. When I found out what he was saying, and it was bad, rather than making problems I refused to have anything to do with him. I wouldn't acknowledge him if I saw him. I hadn't seen him since my dad died in 2015.

Fast forward to today. My aunt came to town to find out stuff. She was telling me all the stories and claims that my uncle made. And she asked me to help her.

My aunt, she's old school in that she thinks everyone is true to their word. Now with all the folks coming out of the woodwork trying to get a piece of that action, I find it hilarious as to what the reality really is.

Supposedly, the house is or was paid for. She's telling there might be a refinance or a reverse mortgage. She telling me, my uncle told her that he's got money. A lot of money. Then she tells me he was asking to borrow $5K a few years ago. Asking for money means he doesn't have money.

I told her to look at his bills, that'll tell a lot.

Then there's the house. I hadn't been in that house in 30+ years, I was in awe of all the stuff that was in there! Stacks of VHS tapes from the floor to the ceiling. Racks of DVDs and CDs. Then there are at least 70 pairs of shoes! The house was packed full of stuff! There were shopping bags full of stuff like three prong to two prong electrical plugs - new in the packages. There were all kinds of the items that you see on late night TV. Multiples of whatever...new in the package. That's where all his money went! I'll bet he's got credit card debt out the wazoo.

The stuff he has his older and valueless. I don't even think a pawn shop would take that stuff. My aunt seems to think it's all money. He's got electronic stuff, but it's old and obsolete. I'm telling her it's goodwill, Salvation Army and dumpster stuff. It would take years to sell the DVDs and CDs on Ebay.

The strange thing is, I think the house has been picked over. The house was dusty and just looking at it it seemed that stuff, a lot of stuff, had been moved around like someone looking for something.

He has two sheds in the backyard, no doubt packed with stuff. I'm curious as to what's in them. Who knows it might be packed full of coins, or might be dollar store junk. Probably junk...

I really don't want any part of this, but I'll help my aunt any way I can. I keep telling her not to get her hopes up, but she thinks there's treasure. And she wants to take this stuff back to Texas!

The key word is "stuff".

Yeah, good luck with that!

 

[biku324]

My wife's second cousin died a couple of years ago - he claimed to have money, and acted like it. He also had an unknown daughter show up at his deathbed (she was legit, and even brought her mother).

Turns out he was leveraged to his eyeballs. His widow, last of three wives, had no clue he had that kind of debt and lost everything, including a fair amount of her money she brought to the marriage. Suddenly no house, no cars/trucks, no land, no retirement, no 401k, no horses/tack, no nothing except some mechanic tools (commercial) and some personal garbage worth a little something at garage sales. She was asking for help to get his ashes back from cremation.

It's come to my attention through the years that some people suck.

 

[Ματθιας]

My wife's second cousin died a couple of years ago - he claimed to have money, and acted like it. He also had an unknown daughter show up at his deathbed (she was legit, and even brought her mother).

Turns out he was leveraged to his eyeballs. His widow, last of three wives, had no clue he had that kind of debt and lost everything, including a fair amount of her money she brought to the marriage. Suddenly no house, no cars/trucks, no land, no retirement, no 401k, no horses/tack, no nothing except some mechanic tools (commercial) and some personal garbage worth a little something at garage sales. She was asking for help to get his ashes back from cremation.

It's come to my attention through the years that some people suck.

I think that's what's going to happen with my aunt. There's not going to be a whole lot left when the creditors are done.

With no will that just complicates everything.

This is my aunt:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fU6VLVbA2A[/ame]

 

[ameridaddy]

OP said "...My aunt seems to think it's all money. He's got electronic stuff, but it's old and obsolete. I'm telling her it's goodwill, Salvation Army and dumpster stuff."

A friend had a good sized recording studio and audio/video editing suite located in a big office building about 25 years ago, and produced training and public service videos for the state and Federal governments, shot many, many Toyota TV ads, had Tony the Tiger in the studio for Exxon ads; IOW, it was a pretty bigtime place.
When he closed the business, he had about $600,000 in equipment, took it home to his house where he set up a mini-studio, and once he started a new business in a different field, tried to sell the equipment.
To his dismay, he found the rapid advance of electronic technology had made his $600,000 equipment beyond worthless - not only did no one want to buy it, but he had to pay a county dump fee to dispose of it.

So, wait for a thunderstorm with lightning, burn the place and call the insurance company - if he has insurance
PS - hyperbole, not really recommending arson and fraud - they are felonies.

 

[Kinman]

I knew an old guy that basically owned a good portion of a small lake, he was considered eccentric by many but a few of us generally liked the old guy. He had his own fish hatchery and kept the small but quite deep lake stocked with Kokanee or landlocked Sockeye Salmon. They never got very big but it was a great place to fill the smoker. He had a small campground and every night held a huge campfire in a large concrete fire ring. He had a little "bait" store on the property which is where you most often found him if he wasn't out putzing around on the property. He sold Milky Way candy bars there were so old they were turning white, Pautzky's eggs, usual fishing gear, odds and ends, candy. When you went into the store, which was also where you paid for camping, boat launch, rentals, etc. He would keep the figures in his head, then say something like "That'll be fifteen bucks." Then when you paid with a twenty he would rummage around in magazines, books, under newspapers, etc. until he came up with the correct change. My son and I stayed there ever now and then in my old camper, he had hook-ups available, we would catch fish, cook dinner, etc. When it came time to settle up, he walked over to where I was hooked up and look at the meter on the wall of the shack and said "That'll be 1.15 for electricity." He was a great old guy, loved kids and kept the place emmaculate, I had friends that paid by the year to park trailers on his property and were all treated like valued family members. Sadly he died ten years or more ago and the property went to his sister. One of his longtime campers was another good friend of mine that told me when they cleaned up the little bait shop they found over $30K in change and bills laying around under stacks of magazine, books, newspapers. My dad had the habit of keeping money in books on his bookshelf, before he died he asked me if there was anything I wanted of his. I asked him if he had gone through his books, he said "Why would I do that?" I told him because he always kept a few bucks in them. We spent an hour thumbing through his old books and found over $1.5K. You never know what your going to find in some places, often in most out of the way places possible, hoarders are strange in what they find value in. I've been in houses that had newspapers stacked floor to ceiling with just enough room to walk down the aisle between papers. My wife accuses me of being a hoarder, I just tell her its a matter of not having enough room, she "allows" me to take over one room in the basement, its kinda cramped in there but I can assure you, there aint no junk in there.

 

[s&wchad]

My uncle died earlier this month and things are coming out that no one knew about. Heard rumors, but nothing confirmed.

My uncle died without a will...

I'm guessing he still doesn't care who gets gets his stuff...

 

[Ματθιας]

The house is like a hoarder's house but it wasn't like a hoarder's house. The stuff he had was organized in racks - it's like a stockroom. He has 25+ fireplace lighters, he has cell phone holsters about a dozen of them, he has the Ronco catalog, new in boxes just to give an idea of what he has.

If I had to guess, he was a lonely old man buying stuff just to make himself feel better. In a way it's sad, but then again he treated people like poop. He has pictures of himself everywhere. It's kinda funny, to me at least. Maybe a touch of narcissism. Who knows.

My aunt drove from Texas when he was in the hospital in early November, and tried to stay with him in his house when he was released from the hospital to help him out. He needed in home healthcare and physical therapy. My aunt tried to stay and help, but she couldn't/wouldnt tolerate his treatment and she bailed. She lasted two days - she cleared everything in her life so she could stay a month!

The second day, she called and asked if she could stay with me. Long story short, she waited on him, cooked for him cleaned his house, but nothing was good enough and it was constant criticism. She was almost in tears telling me all of this.

I can't say I was surprised, but that's who he was. No surprise he ended up alone. The funny thing was she never told him she was leaving, she just left! She stayed with me for the night and went back to Texas.

 

[DWalt]

Went to an estate sale over 10 years ago, an old woman who died and had been living alone. Same story. House had a two car garage packed full of unopened boxes of “stuff” that appeared to have been bought from Home Shopping Network. Stacked to the ceiling. It was a pitiful but amazing sight. I bought none of it. I didn’t bother going inside, probably the same situation there.

 

[lihpster]

Went to an estate sale over 10 years ago, an old woman who died and had been living alone. Same story. House had a two car garage packed full of unopened boxes of “stuff” that appeared to have been bought from Home Shopping Network. Stacked to the ceiling. It was a pitiful but amazing sight. I bought none of it. I didn’t bother going inside, probably the same situation there.

One of mother's closest friends came from money. Serious oil money. But she left it behind to marry a man the family didn't like. Was estranged from the family for many years, but as often happens, grandchildren brought her and her mother back together, shortly before her mother passed. When she went back to Oklahoma to settle her mothers affairs, she found out her mother had over 15 houses. She lived in one house. The others were for storing her "things". She bought stuff and stored it the houses. When one got full, she bought another one. They were filled with high end antiques, ceramics, jewelry, artwork etc. None of it was displayed, just stacked in the houses. Much of it had never been opened. It was still in the boxes it was shipped in. Now that's an accumulator not a collector.

 

[Skeet 028]

Now you've got e going. I'm taking all the books off the bookshelf...I probably have 5 or 6 hundred bucks packed away as page markers. I no longer buy book. I read 'em on amazon Kindles

 

[Puller]

There are medications that some folks take that causes or enhances compulsiveness. For some it's gambling, but many it's compulsive buying. If they are computer savvy then on line shopping, like Amazon, is like an addiction. For those who are not on line the QVC network on cable is just as bad.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

My father in law once told me many years ago " When I go it will as when I was born with a dirty *** and 2 empty pockets". And that's the way he did. His 6 kids had to pony up 50 bucks each to bury him.

 

[BC38]

The house is like a hoarder's house but it wasn't like a hoarder's house. The stuff he had was organized in racks - it's like a stockroom. He has 25+ fireplace lighters, he has cell phone holsters about a dozen of them, he has the Ronco catalog, new in boxes just to give an idea of what he has.

If I had to guess, he was a lonely old man buying stuff just to make himself feel better. In a way it's sad, but then again he treated people like poop. He has pictures of himself everywhere. It's kinda funny, to me at least. Maybe a touch of narcissism. Who knows.

My aunt drove from Texas when he was in the hospital in early November, and tried to stay with him in his house when he was released from the hospital to help him out. He needed in home healthcare and physical therapy. My aunt tried to stay and help, but she couldn't/wouldnt tolerate his treatment and she bailed. She lasted two days - she cleared everything in her life so she could stay a month!

The second day, she called and asked if she could stay with me. Long story short, she waited on him, cooked for him cleaned his house, but nothing was good enough and it was constant criticism. She was almost in tears telling me all of this.

I can't say I was surprised, but that's who he was. No surprise he ended up alone. The funny thing was she never told him she was leaving, she just left! She stayed with me for the night and went back to Texas.

Kind of reminds me of my stepmother.

When dad passed in 2002 he was drawing an employer pension and social security. He was so good at managing money that they had a nice house with no mortgage, 2 fairly new cars that they owned free and clear, a couple of boats, a bunch of quads and motorcycles, a few lake lots, $250k in the bank, and he was still putting a little money away every month.

Dad had his pension and social security payments set up so that after his passing, my stepmother continued collecting both of them - so she had the same amount of income that the two of them had been living on since his retirement.

Fast forward 12 years to 2014 when my stepmother passed away.

Their home was in such disrepair that it took over $50k worth of repairs to make it suitable for resale.

The cash and paid off vehicles, boats, and other assets were all gone. She had one car that was worth less than what she owed on it.

But that wasn't the real shocker.

For the last several years of her life, every time one of us kids made arrangements to visit her, she would make arrangements for us to come for a visit, and then, at the last-minute, she would have a "change of plans" that kept us away from visiting our family home. We all thought she was just avoiding us. But after her death we found out that we were mistaken about that.

She had turned into a hoarder. Like the TV show "Hoarders: Buried Alive" type of hoarder. Despite the fact that she was suffering from a mental illness, she still realized that we would be shocked to see the conditions she was living in, so she always found a reason to keep us from coming to visit.

After her death, when we went into the house, we were all horrified to find that EVERY single room - including the 2-car garage and a couple of outbuildings - were all stacked full of "stuff". And when I say stacked full, I mean every single room stacked shoulder-high with stuff - to the point that there were only narrow walkways you could navigate through the rooms.

What's more, 90% of the stuff was literally JUNK. Things she had bought at garage sales and flea markets and such. Stuff that nobody would even want. The other 10% was mostly brand-new stuff that she had bought on sale. The weirdest thing about the new items was that, in most cases, if she had one, she had 3 or 4 of the exact same item. As best I could tell, if she found a good deal or a sale on something (a snow shovel for instance), she wouldn't buy just one, she'd buy 3 or 4 of them. Even if they were things she had no real use for.

We ended up renting a 12yd dumpster, dragging all of the stuff out of the house, and throwing most if it directly into the dumpster. We held a big yard sale two or three weekends in a row to try to sell what we could. As a last-ditch effort to get rid of stuff, we placed ads in the local papers advertising FREE stuff - just come and get it. We did all of that just to get rid of the items that had some kind of value - i.e. most of the new stuff - without having to pay to have it hauled away and end up in a landfill.

But despite our best efforts to sell or give away as much stuff as possible, we still ended up almost filling that 12yd dumpster TWICE.

When it was all said and done, in just 12 years, my stepmother had basically burned through $450k worth of cash and assets that my dad had left her - including my dad's $125k share of the inheritance from my grandparents. And she managed to spend all that in addition to the $40k a year in income from dad's pension and social security that he also left for her.

The worst part is that she blew almost of that money on hoarding JUNK - literally. Most of the stuff she spent our inheritance on literally ended up in the dumpster.

IMO, the hoarder mentality is definitely a mental illness - a sickness. I have to believe that in order to not resent my stepmother for squandering almost everything my dad AND my grandparents worked their whole lives to accumulate.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Sounds like the Collier brothers-look them up-are alive and well.

 

[twodog max]

I have seen to many friends go through turmoil trying straighten out a relatives mess after they are gone. My wife and I did wills long ago and when she passed away her medical and durable power of attorney made things a little easier for the kids and I. Since her passing I have taken extra steps to let the kids know where everything is at and so forth. I have written lists of who gets what in the folder with the will along with having informed them verbally what all is written down. Both my wife and I have been avid readers for life. There are thousands on books on shelves that these days are worthless. That is the closest they will come to dealing with trash.
Our goal was not to leave the kids with a mess to deal with. I am trying to have things set when I kick the bucket.

 

[jeffrefrig]

One reason I don't ever have any dirty magazines or websites. I have money plus life insurance that will cover any outstanding debts. One of the few things I take seriously in life at this age.

 

[RobertK3026]

What I have learned from my siblings after my parents and my in-laws passed, is that money is always thicker than blood...
Since I was left out of the will, the in fighting is hilarious.

 

[SnidelyWhiplash]

A family friend was a builder and became very wealthy at it. I knew he was in the Army engineers but it wasn't until after he passed away that he had been wounded at the Battle of the Bulge...he never discussed it at all. It was in his obituary that he was a minority owner of a NBA basketball team and heavily involved in numerous charitable organizations and on the board of directors of several banks.

A very humble man...never bragged or discussed any of it.

 

[glenncal1]

OP- your aunt needs to consult an attorney. If your uncle died intestate (without a will) the laws of the state will govern how any remaining assets are passed on. Since there are children in the picture, your aunt may not be entitled to any of it. She should talk to an attorney right away and definitely before any assets (no matter how valuable) are disposed of.

 

[THE PILGRIM]

A while back I purchased a Mountain Property for my Son.
It had been owned and occupied by an accumulator house remodeler.
We soon got frustrated hauling trash in my SIL’ s Pickup.
I know, your thinking, what kind of big stuff you talking bout?
Like 8 washer- dryers. Hot tub. 50- 5 gal buckets of ??? We took them to Country disposal site.
Time for the Big Box!
Yes it’s true, I have a lot of ‘stuff’, but not necessarily huge big box stuff.