Regarding shooting +P in modern S&W revolvers, as far as I know it's true regarding steel guns. Shooting +P in a non-+P-rated aluminum-frame revolver likely won't cause a catastrophic failure, but it has the potential to cause accelerated wear, including frame stretching that could lead to timing issues. Limited use is generally not considered a problem.
As far as +P being a marketing gimmick, not really. While I generally don't think +P is necessary for defensive ammo, .38 Special loads do seem to benefit from it. The two most proven self defense loads in .38 Special, the FBI load and the Speer Short-Barrel Gold Dot, are both +P. Of course, not everybody, nor every gun, can handle +P, so there are standard pressure alternatives. I keep the Speer load in my snubs, but I also have some target wadcutters and a couple boxes of Federal 125gr Nyclads on hand.