Visiting relatives and electronics

[Gunslinger808]

I'm really dissapointed, had my wife's brother, his wife, and Two kids visit and stay with us for the New Years holiday.
It was irritating they spent at least 50% of their time glued to the electronics they brought with.
From I Phones to notepads it was a shame, rather than spend time with me and mine they played video games, texted, surfed, and just turned it into another day at home.
I think the telling point was not the usual holiday disputes, but rather who's turn it was to plug their device in to charge.
I found it rude and disrespectful that they couldn't put down the E crack long enough to have a decent visit, rather than playing the same old push button hop scotch they do at home.

 

[ChattanoogaPhil]

My granddaughter wants to go shooting. Then the wife takes her out shopping. Then we have dinner and later play table games like Scrabble and talk until I get tired and wander off to bed. She's got an iPhone and loves it, but fully understands how quickly it will get turned off... permanently. Funny... we were out to lunch and my wife's iPhone rings. Granddaughter scolded her good!

If parents can't teach their kids no better than to play electronic games when visiting family, or anyone for that matter, the parents should hang their heads in shame and start being responsible parents. I hear excuses like there's not much you can do with teenage kids these days... Nonsense.

 

[Gunslinger808]

And THAT's what has me peeved, it wasn't just the kids, it was the parents as well.
I mean really?
As adults you can't give up the electronic tether long enough to even sit out back with us and enjoy the fire and a few cold ones?
My wife and I pretty much spent New Years eve alone as they couldn't be bothered to put down their most important surfing to spend time with us.

 

[ChattanoogaPhil]

Well... I'd have been less than tolerant of it, made some sarcastic remarks and started a family fuss. It would have been settled one way or the other before they left or resulted in them leaving for home early. Done it more than once...

 

[shouldazagged]

That is inexcusably rude. And it seems to be everywhere. It's replacing the arts of conversation and enjoyment of the company of others.

If it were my home, the next time that crew wanted to visit it would be with the stipulation that the electronics be shut off till they adjourned to their bedrooms for the night.

Call me a sentimental old fool, but if I'm feeding you and providing you with a place to sleep, you can damn well talk to me or go home.

 

[b_san]

The electronic devices were the only thing that kept me sane during the holidays at the in-laws, it's all about your perspective I guess.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

I made it a point to not take the lap top on vacation. You know, so I could spend time with the wife's family. Sit around and watch movies on cable? I told the wife that I would take a portable reloading kit with me next time.
One year, at 4th of July 3-day weekend, I had a Tom Clancy Novel that I read instead of sitting around board. I got in trouble for not having "fun". I ask the wife, what to do about it? She tells me, let everyone know you going to enjoy the solitude of the woods, then walk out of sight; and read! Of course, one night I really got in trouble. They were watching old family home movies, and had one of my wife's 12th birthday party. She hasn't changed appearance much since then, except for "maturing" and hair style. I got up and walked out, and one of the cousins ask what was the matter. I told him the movie made me feel like a child molester. They never showed home movies around me again! Ivan

 

[speedyquad]

when traveling to the outer banks for vacation last summer, we stopped over night. it was my wife, our two kids, my mother, brother, his wife and their son. we went to an I.H.O.P. for supper. We were seated next to a family of 5. Mother, father, 8(ish)yr old girl, 12(ish) yr old girl, and a 16(ish) yr old boy. the only words spoken the whole time was when the yougest girls batteries died. she told mom that her batteries died and mom replied "i told you to charge it before we left." we all commented how disturbing that was. the only thing our phones were used for that week was to communicate between vegicles and some minor gps functions...even though we have the smart phones, they stay in the car/pockets/etc at family gatherings

 

[Llando88]

The electronic devices were the only thing that kept me sane during the holidays at the in-laws, it's all about your perspective I guess.

Amen brother, amen.

 

[Brian41]

I see the same thing with my relatives and they act like they can't do without them at all. My niece is probably the worse of the bunch to the point of almost being anti-social. But then again I'm an old guy that still owns a dumb phone.

 

[islamoradamark]

i read somewere they got a cell phone signal blocker works up to 25 feet this way you can eat and go to movies s in piece. also read its illagle in this country i think that is wrong i like my piece and quite, 25 feet is not that far to ask

 

[35Rem]

Maybe learning to communicate with those dreaded Inlaws would keep you from being bored.
I've been guilty of playing with the phone and will try to do better. Thanks for the reminder

 

[Arik]

Those reletives who are my age or a little older I see often enough that anything new is probably less than a month old. Those reletives who I see only on holidays are too old to have a conversation with. What am I going to about with a 89 year old man when you're not even sure hes aware of who you are

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[jimmib]

when the kids and grand kids come over here I make the grand kids limit their time on the electronics and try to limit mine when we are at their houses...it isn't a perfect world but if we work at it we can balance our time together and enjoy our visits

 

[Beemerguy53]

Well... I'd have been less than tolerant of it, made some sarcastic remarks and started a family fuss. It would have been settled one way or the other before they left or resulted in them leaving for home early. Done it more than once...

I'm with ya, Phil! For better or worse, I'm one of those people who has no filter between his brain and his mouth. I try to be diplomatic, but sometimes you just need to open up and let 'er rip...

 

[Mcwsky09]

Playing online games is what my son and his cousins do together - generally minecraft - since they live about an our away they don't get together all that often - but they will spend hours on a group Skype call playing minecraft and other games together.

Most times when relatives are at my parents' house (which is typically the congregation point for family most casual family get togethers) we end up playing some sort of dice or card game together. We even have a bingo game (supposed to be monthly but we only manage to get in about 6 a year) - where there are no electronics used, except at my house, since I have multiple screens showing the numbers drawn, and it is quite fun - there is something unique about directly interacting with a group of people in the same room that you just can't get from Facebook status updates and Twitter feeds.

 

[Beemerguy53]

That is inexcusably rude. And it seems to be everywhere. It's replacing the arts of conversation and enjoyment of the company of others...

I was enjoying a drink with a lady friend a few months ago in a nice brewpub/restaurant in my town. A family came in and was seated at the next table over...Dad, Mom, and two little girls, about 8 and 12.

They placed their orders, and then sat in silence, the parents on their smart phones, the children using iPads, until their food came. No conversation, no interaction at all, just four people sitting in utter silence, faces glued to the all-important electronic toy...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

[LL617]

Around here, I tend to use the computer more than anyone, partly for work and school.

However, much of the holidays was spent watching TV--we had sickness in the house, which meant we had to stay home and be quiet. Today I have had my fill. It's cold, gloomy, and wet, but I am going out. I've had my fill of shows and even bowl games and would really like to catch up with friends--but I think they are all watching football.

I wanted to go shooting at the range but the boss says its too cold. Oh, there's a gun show in a nearby town, I think….

 

[Arik]

I was enjoying a drink with a lady friend a few months ago in a nice brewpub/restaurant in my town. A family came in and was seated at the next table over...Dad, Mom, and two little girls, about 8 and 12.

They placed their orders, and then sat in silence, the parents on their smart phones, the children using iPads, until their food came. No conversation, no interaction at all, just four people sitting in utter silence, faces glued to the all-important electronic toy...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

That's the way I like it. Really, if I see you constantly or everyday I don't have anything to say to you and whatever you are about to say I probably heard at least 3 times in the last week. When I was in school I had the same problem when asked "what happened in school today? " My reply was always "same thing that happened yesterday and the day before and last week...." day to day stuff rarely changes

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[cmort666]

I visited my mother outside of Chicago last week.

50% of my time was spent fixing relatives' (including hers) computers, the other 50% reading online fora (including this one).

I have no friends there (nor do I want any) and no place to go. I went to the Tiger Direct store and Barnes and Noble. I went out to dinner with my mother once. She was happy.

 

[cmort666]

They placed their orders, and then sat in silence, the parents on their smart phones, the children using iPads, until their food came. No conversation, no interaction at all, just four people sitting in utter silence, faces glued to the all-important electronic toy...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

That sounds like an excellent way to avoid a lot of arguments in my family. I give it two thumbs up.

 

[venomballistics]

In my youth, the family gatherings were always awkward for me.
Never could find a foothold in the conversation.
So I opted for a block of wood and a jackknife where I took to whittling.
Kinda like an Iphone in principal I guess.
The only one who noticed was my grandfather. Furthermore, my grandfathers approach was far from negative.
He led me out to his shop and showed me where the working of wood was done right.
as time went on I found myself joined by some of my cousins and after a while we had made up a pretty fair arsenal of toy guns which lead to some proper horseplay.
I guess the old man had an app for that.

He never asked me to set down the block of wood and the knife. He replaced it with something better and let me, and later, us, figure it out.

as I think on it ... Rocksmith and Bandfuse might prove useful.

 

[sophie]

What Gunslinger808 says in the original post is a sore spot with me for sure. The kids nowadays just want to play with all the electronic gadgetry. I have 2 grandkids that live locally and when they come and stay with us they always want to watch tv or play with them games and such. I don't let them even watch tv till late evening. We never have the tv on until news time in the evening. In their house the tv is on all day long. The smartphones are a useful tool when needed but no use fooling with them all the time. When out in public, doctors office, or just out in general I am simply amazed at the people (female mostly) that can't put these gadgets down. Why can't they pick up a book or magazine and read it? I think it is pure disrespect plain and simple for company or relatives to come to see you and then spend all the time ignoring you and playing games on these things.

 

[Jessie]

I understand the sentiments voiced about "real" face to face communication when visiting relatives and such.
I just think its kind of ironic that we are complaining about it here.

 

[Beemerguy53]

I understand the sentiments voiced about "real" face to face communication when visiting relatives and such.
I just think its kind of ironic that we are complaining about here.

Good point...LOL!

 

[feralmerril]

I guess I was a strange kid. I was always interested in history from a boy up. I would go with my folks when they visited older relatives. I guess my dad was the same. I would sit there in awe when old great uncles talked about living in siberia in the 1880s or chasing poncho villa around in mexico, or whatever. Years ago I brought my dad out from wisconsin when he was in his high 80s. We went over to my sisters house and all her kids and grand kids were there. Someone put in a CD of that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where some robot super solider is shot and he leaks blood that looks like solder, heals himself etc. Dad turned to me and made a bad remark. Sister quickly stuck in "Bambi" or somthing similar, for the kids to watch. After a couple minuets of that one of my grand nephews about 6 years old says, "Awww this is stupid! Who would belive a deer can talk?" I got the feeling some of them was glad to see us go.

 

[Brian41]

Went with my buddy and his teenage son to their family cabin for our annual grouse hunting trip. Plan was to hunt some, eat and drink well and do some target shooting out back. The boy brought his video game and we had a heck of a time getting him away from it to shoot guns or go hunting. I kept my mouth shut as it was hurtful listening to my buddy plead with him to put the games up so we could do things together.
We did manage to get in some shooting and hunting but soon as we hit the cabin door the youngster was back at the games.

 

[Oddball]

Went with my buddy and his teenage son to their family cabin for our annual grouse hunting trip. Plan was to hunt some, eat and drink well and do some target shooting out back. The boy brought his video game and we had a heck of a time getting him away from it to shoot guns or go hunting. I kept my mouth shut as it was hurtful listening to my buddy plead with him to put the games up so we could do things together.
We did manage to get in some shooting and hunting but soon as we hit the cabin door the youngster was back at the games.

I think that if I had been the boy's father instead of pleading with him I would have used the game for target practice.

 

[EugeneNine]

when I take my family to visit my parents or my in-laws their idea of family time I to watch some garbage on TV and and then try to talk gossip over it so sometimes its hard to blame kids for wanting to be involve in their devices.

 

[Chillock]

We had most of the family at our house Christmas day. Everyone was told of my rule before accepting our invitation. No cell phones, tablets or anything of the kind. Only a few exceptions, my niece was to call so her dad had his phone until she called, then put it away. I called my folks long before anyone showed up. My son's friend was to call (dealing with death in family) again, once the call came through, phone was put away. Only electronic communications allowed was my pager (fire/med calls). That was it. Of course, a very big open invitation to bring any and all shooting hardware they wanted.

Dang, it was an awesome Christmas.