What do you buy a homeless veteran for lunch?

[GatorFarmer]

For most people, the answer seems to be "nothing", as they drive on by.

Sheridan has the largest and oldest VA treatment center for mentally ill veterans. They also have a shelter for homeless vets, though it is sometimes full. For this reason, as well as being a stop off the Interstate, there are a fair number of homeless vets who pass through.

The prime begging spot in town is the edge of the Walmart parking lot where it meets an Arbys lot. There is usually someone there with a sign, trying to get whatever help they can.

Today it was two guys. I had seen the one guy around before, both at the VA hospital where my wife works and once before out with a sign. Another guy was with him today. I always think of the first guy as the Sarge. I don't know his name. I think of him like that because I noticed he always triesnto help out or take care of any of the other homeless.

My wife was home sick. She sent me to Walmart to get some juice. Sarge and the other guy were at the spot. Their sign was simple. "Homeless Vet, Anything helps".

I watched people drive by, not looking over. Sarge has bad legs so he has to sit on a bucket instead of stand. I suppose that makes him easy to ignore.

Funny thing I have noticed. The nicer the car, the more likely they seem to just drive by. The guys in scruffy work trucks and stained clothes, they always seem to stop.

People weren't looking over or stopping today. I never have any money. Five kids, higher cost of living here, my wife still hasn't got her VA disability. But the last time I saw Sarge I gave him my last two dollars. I could stand to skip a coffee.

I didn't even have that on me today. But I walked over to talk to them as soon as I parked. I took my gloves out of my pocket and asked if they needed a pair. Sarge did not have any gloves you see. He insisted that I give them to the other guy, who looked worse off. I did.

I asked if they had eaten today. They had not. Sarge said they had been out most of the morning an no one had stopped, nor even given them a dollar. I believe him.

I told them thentruth, that I had no cash and hardly any money, but to wait there, that I would buy them some food inside. Sarge has a sense of humor, he observed that they had no where else to go wryly.

I used the money I was going to eat breakfast with that remained on my debit card. It would have been a dollar menu breakfast anyway, but it was enough to buy a loaf of bread and two cans of SpaghettiOs. The Walmart Deli yielded two spoons.

I walked it out them, stopping to take the throw blanket I sometimes wrap my daughter in out of the van too. I handed them the food. Sarge told the other guy tl take something first.

I realized that they might not have a can opener. I asked Sarge if he needed one, saying he could have my P38.

He smiled and said he still had his handy in his billfold.

I left the two men to eat.

Later I wondered if I should have given them my coat.

I am getting older. It will not hurt me to miss a meal and I am not outside all day so I can warm my hands up later.

A lady in a Cadillac glared at me as I walked up to Sarge and friend, she had to slow down as I crossed the parking lot to get to them. She deliberately never looked their way.

A week or so ago it wasn't Sarge there, it was a sad looking woman. Her sign said she had children, needed food, gas. I believed her, as she had the truly forlorn expression that true hunger brings. I gave her my last three dollars, all the coins I had in my pockets, and a package of candy that I had had in the van thatbmy sons had left.

I told her that I was sorry no one else stopped to help. That she wasn't invisible. That I wish I had more. When I gave her the candy and said it was for her children she looked close to tears.

I should have given Sarge my coat. He only had a thick flannel shirt. It is cold at night. All day I keep thinking how he gave the gloves to the other guy.

 

[Fat Frank]

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

Thank you for reminding us what's really important. We're all in this together.

 

[LostintheOzone]

My brother is a homeless vet. Alcohol and drugs put him there. Family, including me, have given up on him. All of us have tried to help but nothing keeps him from being homeless, his choice. It's a rough way to live but sometimes it's the only way for them.

I'm a vet myself and only 2 years younger than my brother. I have compassion for homeless vets, but in the end the choice is theirs.

 

[shouldazagged]

You're a good man, Gator. My hat's off to you.

My dad retired after 44 years as a journalist and went into the ministry, unlikely as that sounds for an old newspaper man. He had a church in a poor area on the edge of the downtown area. Lots of panhandlers in the area would hit up the clergy for money. Dad would never give it to them but would offer to take them to a nearby restaurant and buy them a meal. Some accepted and some didn't, preferring money for booze. The ones who accepted occasionally turned up later for services at Dad's church.

As for the question of it being their choice to be homeless, sometimes it's for reasons other than alcoholism or drug addiction. Some veterans, especially, are emotionally maimed to the point of feeling unsafe trying to live in so-called normal society. For the alcoholics and addicts, many--perhaps most--will die unless something forces them to realize they have little or no hope of kicking without help.

I have a lot of years' experience treating them.

 

[THE PILGRIM]

You're a good man, Gator. My hat's off to you.

My dad retired after 44 years as a journalist and went into the ministry, unlikely as that sounds for an old newspaper man. He had a church in a poor area on the edge of the downtown area. Lots of panhandlers in the area would hit up the clergy for money. Dad would never give it to them but would offer to take them to a nearby McDonald's and buy them a meal. Some accepted and some didn't, preferring money for booze. The ones who accepted occasionally turned up later for services at Dad's church.

That is exactly why I hesitate to give these guys money. I have given them food that I had with me. I have bought them food at Mickie D s .
And I have given them money.

 

[James&theGiant1911]

I work for a company that provides consumer product support to large retail outlets and as I see a lot of homeless people everyday. While I realize there are places and housing shelters for the homeless. During the course of doing my job. I picked up a 15 dollar Subway card and gave it to a homeless fella with a sign and a bicycle. I usually have a problem with giving someone money but food I will buy for someone if I feel they actually have a need.

It is so tough these days and the way things are, people are rewarded for not working. I understand the circumstances, but for me it is important to be working and doing the best I can. It is a roller coaster in todays environment. I feel like I should be working and while I am doing that I do not mind helping those less fortunate or down on their luck.

 

[Ozark Marine]

I'm not cold hearted, but I don't give to the guy's standing with a "VET" sign. If I know a member at the VFW or American Legion is needing help, I give it. Too many BS artist out there. A easy way to chump people. Hell, 45 years ago he could of been a hippie draft dodger screaming baby killers at us at the airport.

 

[Rick_A]

Maybe a voucher, certificate, or gift card for food so they don't spend it all on booze or drugs.

The wife gave a guy a hand out and he was in a bar in seconds.

Once somebody gives up on themselves to that extent, there's no hand out or gesture that'll make a difference. Chances are there was plenty of family and friends that were taken advantage of before they were out on the street.

 

[Ματθιας]

Many years ago, I used to work right next to a homeless shelter and have had contact with them that turned my compassion to indifference and made me cold.

Here's some of my experiences:
A homeless guy with a sign asking for food by a very busy intersection had a sign asking for food or money. A kind soul gave him a bag from McDs near by. He tossed it - never eating a bite - onto the ground after it drove off.

When I worked next door to the homeless shelter my car was broken into/vandalized 4x. Cost me some money. They urinated/defecated all over the parking lot. Needless to say it was nasty.

A life long friend who's mother tried to help homeless people by hiring them to do yard work was paid back by being nearly beaten to death while being robbed by the homeless woman she hired.

And most recently, this past spring my dad who's 83 and who walks with a cane because of a broken hip, was purposely pushed and knocked down in front a supermarket by a homeless woman for no reason. He just happened to land in a potted plant display and was lucky to get away with a nasty bruise. My dad as frail as he is probably wouldn't have survived another broken hip.

There's more, but I won't bore you.

While it's a nice story and kudos to you, OP, I don't share your sentiment.

 

[GatorFarmer]

Sarge smokes, I have seen him with a packet of rolling tobacco. I don't begrudge him that. If I still smoked, I would have given him my cigarettes. If he is an addict, he is an extraordinarily functional one. I call Sarge "Sarge" mentally because of how he carries himself. Generally clean shaven, aware...He was a somebody once.

In Sarge s case I don't know why he is homeless. It is not my place to ask. Were I to guess, I would think PTSD played a part.

My wife tells me that I need to stop helping the homeless, that we can not afford it. I shrugged and said," I can't afford not to."

I do not know what I believe in. I don't go to church. I do not promote any religion or denomination. Yet a story I was told as a boy always stuck in my head. The punchline was "So as you do unto these, the least of My brethren, so as you do unto Me" or words to that effect in King James Bible English.

That story cost me a lot of money over the years. Superstition...my OCD...call it what you will. That story 30 odd years ago made me think I could never just walk away. "...the least of My brethren"... I suppose a part of me always figured it was a test. One that I would fail if I pretended not to see or just walked on by. I state that only as regards my personal state of mind and not as an attempt to convince anyone else of it.

I'm not cold hearted, but I don't give to the guy's standing with a "VET" sign. If I know a member at the VFW or American Legion is needing help, I give it. Too many BS artist out there. A easy way to chump people. Hell, 45 years ago he could of been a hippie draft dodger screaming baby killers at us at the airport.

If so, he would not have been eligible for treatment at the VA, where I had seen him. Nor do many former hippies have a fond smile regarding a P-38 can opener in the back pocket.

But everyone driving by can rationalize why they kept going. I do not say that to be harsh. It is simply how humans are. We also like to try to distance ourselves from perceived misfortunes, to think of reasons it could not happen to us.

I give what I have whether the sign says veteran or not. Someone apparently needs it, and to me, the sign is a personal appeal to me.

 

[THE PILGRIM]

I saw a guy and a woman last summer out in front of the Walmart in Salida, CO. They had a sign which said something like -
Spaceship broke, need money for parts.
I saw them several times in the exact same location out near the highway.

 

[Ozark Marine]

GatorFarmer, I'm talking about poser's. I've asked a few of them holding homeless Viet Nam veteran signs questions a military vet would know the answers to. All I got was alot of eh's and huh's. Give your money to whoever you want to. Like I said, I help fellow vets at the post and VA hospital. And what do you know about serving. Don't lecture me about what I should do.

 

[wyccad915]

It's real hard to get me to fork over my money. A couple of months ago a guy hit me up right as I finished up at the atm. He claimed he needed $10 for gas to go to the local hospital on base. I can't say whether it was true or not, but he looked generally sad and about to cry, so I say, either it was real, or he was a good actor, in which case he deserved it. But generally, I ignore the homeless too because I am just a college student and I cannot afford to just give stuff away.

 

[LostintheOzone]

GatorFarmer, I'm talking about poser's. I've asked a few of them holding homeless Viet Nam veteran signs questions a military vet would know the answers to. All I got was alot of eh's and huh's. Give your money to whoever you want to. Like I said, I help fellow vets at the post and VA hospital. And what do you know about serving. Don't lecture me about what I should do.

Roger that. Most of those guys aren't vets but claiming to be one sure helps the bottom line. Anyone who has spent time in the military can spot those con artists a mile away. My brother doesn't pan handle on street corners. He works for food and shelter when he needs to. Most of his money goes for drugs and alcohol. He's a journeyman carpenter but too old to work much anymore. He takes if you offer but doesn't ask for anything. Those guys on the corner are just working the crowd for chump change.

 

[trapper704]

He does not have a vet sign but there is a man, backpack and large dog that is always at our wallmart entrance asking for any money or help,
homeless. One time at a yard sale we seen him in a nice backyard mowing his lawn, with a Humvee in the driveway!!!!!!! I can't even afford one of those, sours me on street beggers.

 

[7shooter]

There was a panhandler that I used to see on Duval street in Key West. His sign read " Need $ for a drink ".

A lot of people gave.

 

[turbo6]

My wife and I give money rarely. I think far too many tend to spend it on booze etc.

I used to see a homeless guy who was a vet by the gas station years ago. I'd grab him a few hot dogs inside. At least that way he got food instead of booze.

Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Protected One]

In 1994, a co-worker offered a job to a guy with a "Vet" sign, at a corner stop light. The guy asked how much the job paid. Mike told him he'd have to be trained, so the starting rate would be $9.50/hr. The guy laughed, and told Mike "No thanks, I make 45k per year standing here on this corner.

A different co-worker once followed a panhandler at the end of the day. The guy walked 3 blocks, got in his late model cadillac, and drove to a beautiful home in a nice part of the city.

Now, maybe you have the gift of discerning those legitimatelly in need, but I don't. So, I make it a practice of NOT giving to anyone who's situation I am not able to verify. There is no virtue in allowing ones self to be conned.

 

[olcop]

I've posted this before---give all you can to anyone you see who asks for help, even if they are panhandling in front of a liquor store--
You never know when an angel is being sent to test you.
olcop

 

[g8rb8]

GatorFarmer and all others,
Regardless of your opinion regarding how to best help people as depicted in Gatorfarmer's thread I think Gatorfarmer wrote a great, heartfelt story and because his story caused me to reflect on life and humanity it was noteworthy. I did not get the opinion Gatorfarmer was preaching or telling us how we should respond but merely painting a picture of life as he saw it.

GatorFarmer,
Thanks for a well written and sincere story. You've motivated me to donate to our local hospice house this morning.

TANKLVMC,
The pictures are great. I really enjoyed the bike on the bike. Your photos, showing words in action, were encouraging. Being from Kansas I grinned at the close-up of the patch.

To all others that help others in need, bless you.

John