Whittling a big wooden club?

[Farmer17]

My wife's friend invited us to a big halloween party she has every year out in the country, and the party is a really big deal with a band and lots of food, and everyone wears a great costume. My wife has decided that we will be dressed as a caveman and cavewoman, and she is making our costumes but I need to make a big wooden club. My wife said "just buy a plastic toy club", but I'm not gonna carry a toy, so I want to make a big wooden club Bufford Pusser would be proud to carry. I'm getting ready to walk to the creek behind me to find a big tree limb but I'm now thinking that it's gonna take a LONG time to carve that thing into shape with a pocket knife. I have a Sawzall and a Skillsaw, anyone have any ideas on how to speed up the club carving process?

 

[Rule3]

Sounds like more work and effort than I would go through for some party. But if you really want to, perhaps a landscape timber from the local Homer Depot unless you can find the right size in the woods. They are cheap. With the Recip saw or chain saw you can shape it like a club, use a ax or hatchet maybe

 

[WoodSmith]

Surgically hack the caveman club into shape with a hatchet. The rough finish will make 'authentic'.

 

[carpriver]

don't forget to carve Smith & Wesson on the club.

 

[Moonman]

1) Get the wood or tree limb.
2) Get a hachet.
3) Give wood and hachet to wife.
4) Tell her your going to watch football and drink beer.
5) Tell her you'll check on her Club Progress Later.
6) She should be SO WAXED AT YOU, SHE'LL NEED LESS HACHET SWINGS TO FINISH YOUR CLUB.
7) Done Deal.
8) Have another BEER.

 

[pilgrim6a]

Great idea Moonman. If she wants you to dress like a caveman, act like one.

 

[old bear]

Moonman, I'm going to assume you are currently unmarried --- big grin goes here.

 

[66TAS]

A man can dream fellas, a man can dream......

 

[Stevens]

Cut a limb which is the size you want for a club, trim small branches and leave the bark on. It doesn't have to be smooth or pretty. Rough will look more authentic.
Steve W

 

[snubbyfan]

Cut a limb which is the size you want for a club, trim small branches and leave the bark on. It doesn't have to be smooth or pretty. Rough will look more authentic.
Steve W

I agree, maybe wittle a gip on it but that's it. Well, maybe a tactical laser/light combo with a pressure switch, a red dot sight and a S&W emblem on the grip but nothing too fancy.

 

[forresth]

do a stone head hatchet instead. No need to be boring.

 

[GatorFarmer]

Most paleo clubs were not necessarily all that large. I make mine out of boxes of seasoned firewood from Walmart. Though if you alread have seasoned wood that helps. I hacked mine to shape using a 12" machete and a large Chinese copy of an Aitor Commando. More advanced models had rusty nails and such embedded in them. Well my more advanced models anyway. Pre iron age people would have had to use obsidian.

Generally you end up cutting yourself a few times making one. Let the blood go on the club. It gives it spirit and personality.

Put the wood shaved off into a big soup can turned into a hobo stove. Set this on fire. Now singe the edges of your club in the flames.

 

[arjay]

Rough it out with a sawzall or chainsaw,finish with a hatchet or a drawknife

 

[2152hq]

Use a chainsaw.

Find a suitable branch sticking out from a tree at a comfortable height to work on.
Cut any excess length off. Then cut the remaining 'club' shape out while it's still attached to the tree.
Best way to hold onto the thing while working on it.
Put some finish cuts in it with a hatchet or axe.
When it looks finished to your satisfaction, remove it from the tree with a single cut.

..or just use an Alex Rodriguez baseball bat,,he can't hit anything with it.

 

[tork'd]

and pictures or it didn't happen...

 

[Rangerpat]

Just cut down a small diameter hardwood tree, cut off the limbs, make it walking-stick length, add a plastic Halloween skull to the top of the stick, tie bird feathers to walking-stick for decoration.

 

[kudzu3]

Have you thought about how heavy this thing's gonna be?

 

[Rule3]

I can't believe this thread has gone this far. I gave you all a chance.

It's so easy a, CAVEMAN CAN DO IT!

+1 on Listen to your wife, buy a stupid plastic one.

 

[BigBill]

A good piece of popular is easy to work with and light too carry too. A nicely tapered tree branch would be a good place to start with.

Here the kids are into zipper faces this year. What will they think of next... Oh the horror.

 

[RightArm]

Found one real wooden club on ebay. It's only $250. What a deal!
Make it yourself, then sell it on ebay next Halloween.