Why I drink-last post 75

CAJUNLAWYER

CAJUNLAWYER

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I just finished picking a jury for a case that is a lock sinch, lead pipe looser. The defendant has such a bad record that even a conviction to a lesser crime of spitting on the sidewalk would mean a mandatory life sentence under our habitual offender bill. The kid is 26-the DA offered a plea that would allow his release on parole in 14 months given the time already served. Of course the kid turned it down and now that train has left the station. His family was a lot of help-"if you innocent-take it to trial".Now to work on an opening and a closing that I can deliver with a straight face without a lightning bolt striking me dead
I HATE STUPID :mad:

But I did find my trolling motor plug that I has lost :D
 
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You were hired to give him your expert advice and provide effective counsel in court. What happens beyond that is not your problem.

You surely know this, but in Great Britain if a client admits guilt to his lawyer the lawyer is bound to plead him guilty.
 
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Some people insist on getting off the airplane and walking straight into the propeller. Nothing you can do about it.

I once had a fellow who contested a speeding ticket I wrote him. 92 mph in a 55 mph zone. He showed up for traffic court, no attorney. I got sworn it, answered all the assistant DA's questions, so now it's his turn. Bailiff swears him in, the Judge asks him if he has anything to say in his defense, he says "No."

Judge asks him if he has any witnesses to bring forth, he says "No."

The exasperated Judge asked him if he had any testimony or evidence that would refute the trooper's testimony, He said "No."

The Judge said, "I have no other recourse but to find you guilty of the charge of speeding. That will be (I forgot what the fine and costs were) fine and court costs." And the Judge rapped the gavel.

The guy turns around and looks at everyone waiting to have their traffic cases heard and says, "Well you guys might as well plead guilty. This is a (insert the 'F' bomb) chopping block up here."

The judge stared at him for a few seconds, and there was not a sound to be heard. Then the judge shouted "Trooper! You will take that man into custody and march his happy *** across that parking lot and remand him into the custody of the county sheriff until such time that I calm down enough to decide what I'm going to do to him!"

And that's exactly what I did.

On the way to the sheriff's office he looked at me and said "I guess I said something that pissed him off."

"Yep, I think it was the chopping block thing."

"Mighta been"".



Cajunlawyer, you just can't fix stupid.
 
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I too was in court today. Four of five defendants plead guilty in a armed robbery/burglary/home invasion/assault case. Three plead, but the fourth decided he wanted a trial. The fifth has always maintained his innocence. The two on trial are facing twenty years, the other three each got ten years. No parole. When they were first arrested on this crime in August 2011 they were offered a plea with a seven year sentence. Nobody jumped on that boat, and it sailed away. These last two morons appear to have grabbed a hold of the anchor.
 
Mule Packer said:
The sad thing about this whole case, in my opinion, is that the bozo is only getting 14 months.
Click to expand...

Read the OP again, the kid turned down the 14 months when he is likely facing life.

The trouble with many of these types is that they just do not understand that laws apply to them. It really is that simple.
 
Mule Packer said:
The sad thing about this whole case, in my opinion, is that the bozo is only getting 14 months.
Click to expand...

Was...was. Now, for that drinking issue, do what I do, 3 fingers of Jack's poured over rocks, a twist of lime, and a splash of Coca-cola from a glass bottle. Repeat PRN.;)
 
you can't fix stupid


someone's gene pool needs more chlorine
 
images



It's gonna look like this in court next week.
 
Old habits die hard. Perhaps after he gets out , he'll try something stupid , like trying to steal more chainlink fence than he can swim with.
 
Good. For the rest of us that is.
The Big B Offender law, and other mandatory sentencing laws are a product of soft judges and good defense attorneys.

Emory
 
It is Tuesday and one should not drink too heavy during the work week. How about Spiced Rum and Coke? Grab some Marlboro's your Zippo and get comfy. Light up, take a sip and let one fleeting thought slip by before you enjoy your evening.

Your fleeting thought,The man above did not place me here to fix stupid. The man above can't fix stupid. However the Man above did give me a good location to make money off stupid......
 
Cajun,
Can't help with the opening statement, but for a closing perhaps this would work. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, my client entered this world stupid and he'll and he'll leave it stupid, but there is no reason for him to be in prison when he does. The aforementioned is not great but it's the best I got


I hope you got your fee up front.
 
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Mule Packer said:
Yep...I read that too fast. Maybe the kid ought to be euthanized on the grounds of stupidity...just to make sure he doesn't breed and propagate idiocy.
Click to expand...

Okay, I admit, I was probably a little harsh to suggest euthanasia, but I think mandatory castration would be an acceptable alternative.:D
 
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