Wife not happy with my efforts to protect the family.

[Doc1500]

I'm hoping for some insight from the community.
Over the past several years I have purchased several pistols, an AR-15 , a shotgun and inherited some shotguns from my uncle. My wife has a history from back into High School of being on the shooting team and was a very accomplished shooter on the high school shooting team and 4-H. The only rifle we had lying around was her High School 22 target rifle. When I purchased the first pistol, I bought a pistol safe. I then acquired another 22 rifle from a friend and always kept the bolts for the rifles and ammunition in another location. After 9/11
I purchased a 12 gauge shotgun. I have always been an advocate for safety and kept the ammunition away from and out of any of the weapons. I then purchased a quick access shotlock safe for the shotgun. Last year, I convince my wife that we should get a gun safe and she agreed to because there was one on sale. When I'm not at work I carry a pistol for protection for me and my family. My wife calls me Matt Dillon because I carry a pistol. I told her the reason I carry is because I don't want to be the guy standing in the middle of the mall looking around at bloody bodies thinking I should have done something. I just want to protect myself and my family. Last week my wife told me she heard some noises that seem to be coming from the garage which is attached to our house and have a door access from our foyer. I was on the road and not home, she told me she went to the door and cautiously opened it and nothing was there. That scared the hell out of me) our house is large and it's a distance from the guns to the access door to the garage. I asked her why she didn't go grab a pistol from the gun safe in the bedroom before she open the door, she said it was too far to the gun safe.
With that situation on my mind I recently purchased another handgun safe, biometric, to put in the living room so she would have quick access when I'm not there, or for me to use when I am there. She is Just giving me a lot of pushback that I'm putting this handgun safe in the living room, and said I'm just a gun nut.
I guess I'm looking for input from the forum gun community as to what I can tell her so she understands the importance to being prepared for a bad situation.
HELP !!!

 

[Rudi]

Maybe she needs the Good vs. Evil briefing. Many of us can tell her horror stories. Good luck.

 

[Smoke]

I guess I'm looking for input from the forum gun community as to what I can tell her so she understands the importance to being prepared for a bad situation.

Nothing

True Story Bro

 

[SMSgt]

You can't teach people unwilling to learn.

 

[LVSteve]

Last week my wife told me she heard some noises that seem to be coming from the garage which is attached to our house and have a door access from our foyer. I was on the road and not home, she told me she went to the door and cautiously opened it and nothing was there. That scared the hell out of me) our house is large and it's a distance from the guns to the access door to the garage. I asked her why she didn't go grab a pistol from the gun safe in the bedroom before she open the door, she said it was too far to the gun safe.

With a major logic failure like that, there's a far bigger issue than the guns. You don't open doors to check on strange noises unless you are prepared for what's on the other side. The safe being a distance away is immaterial. However, it can be hard to break the "This is closer, so I'll do this first" mindset.

 

[Sikiguya]

I have a pistol safe in my living room for that exact reason…so it is close by in the event I need it. Now my kids are grown and are in college, I am actually going to have a few more stowed in places around once we move in a month.


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[alwslate]

Explain to her once in detail why you’re doing what you’re doing and then tell her the subject is closed and you don’t want to hear any more about it.

 

[tnmandpshooter]

Sounds like your wife has turned into a liberal snow flakes. Time for a divorce!

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[sigp220.45]

Millions of people get by just fine with no guns in the house.

If she’s fine with not having a gun handy when you’re not around then that should be it.

Maybe get a dog?

 

[Sevens]

If you can approach her peacefully one day and suggest that someone else may possibly explain it better than you can -AND- she’s willing to have an open mind and give it a chance…

Cornered Cat | If you have to fight, fight like a cornered cat.

 

[ZGrand]

I recently saw some concealment products from a company called Tactical Walls. Below is an example:

1242 Top Locking Shelf | Firearm Storage | Tactical Walls

(Be sure and watch the video.) They make many different kinds of ways to conceal weapons -- your wife may be more agreeable to some of their products.

 

[jeffrefrig]

Well, you didn't mention children, so I'll assume there are none presently in the house. I see no problem with a loaded shotgun by the bed and/or hiding under a coat on you hall tree, or whatever you have handy...umbrella holder, coat hook with a longer trench coat hanging on it, etc. Sorry, but unloaded guns with ammo "over there" are totally useless. They may get you killed faster than no gun at all. Of course, security cameras are worth every penny, too.
But, then, if you still aren't comfortable get a dog. A real one, not some ankle-biter!

 

[wood714]

Sounds like your wife has turned into a liberal snow flakes. Time for a divorce!

I really hope you're being sarcastic.

 

[beach elvis]

There are 2 ways to learn not to touch the hot stove…

One is listening when someone who’s concerned for your well-being warns to not touch the hot stove.

The other is ignoring logic and just choosing to touch the hot stove.

You two both occupy opposite concepts of the hot stove conundrum in the scenario that you describe. Been there. It sucks torturously. Ya just wanna shake ‘em.
“How do you NOT understand this???!!!!” And yet, the apathy and denial continues unabated.

In my case, her attitude was very concerning at first. After that, it just became maddening because she wanted ME to take responsibility for home defense…BUT…it had to be in a way that HER untrained self approved of.

Eventually, I just told her that I have my own plan for when I’m home and she could come up with her own plan for when she was alone. I bought a gun vault and biometric lock box for the nightstand and refused to let her know the combos to either one, which she resented, until I told her that since I’m just a “gun nut”, she wouldn’t want to go near them anyway so what’s the problem? And that since she had no training with them, she didn’t belong anywhere near them, anyway.

She was then informed that whoever first heard the noise in the house was gonna be the one to get up and deal with it, using their respective plans. None of this, “Wake up, I heard something. Go see what it is.” Sure, wake me up so my plan could be Plan B, provided I was home. “Otherwise, since ya got it all worked out after all, implement your plan. You DO have a plan, right?”

In the end, she had been allowing herself to be influenced by a couple of her “smugnorant” antigun girlfriends about the subject. Then late one night at one of THEIR houses, they employed their “acumen” on the subject when the proverbial stove got hot. It did NOT go well for her and the cops are STILL looking for the guy, as far as I know.

The whole issue came to a conclusion with a sheepish request to be told the combos to the vault and lockbox, never to be talked about again other than when she went out and got some training. Any “smugnorance” was torpedoed overnight. In fact, a couple more guns also wound up in the house and they did not belong to me.

Good luck to ya. It might be uphill all the way, but hopefully not.

And Merry Christmas.

 

[beach elvis]

Millions of people get by just fine with no guns in the house.

If she’s fine with not having a gun handy when you’re not around then that should be it.

Maybe get a dog?

Personally, I couldn’t imagine life WITHOUT at least one good size dog for many reasons, one being a second doorbell and first line of defense.

 

[alwslate]

A long time friend now gone had a mean looking 100 lb black dog that many of his friends were afraid of. He liked that and was sure his dog would defend him. One night a guy shoved his way in when my friend opened the door and knocked him on his arse over a woman. He told me his big mean dog actually tried to make up to the guy for petting and attention rather than attack him.

 

[lawandorder]

There truly are Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs.

Does she believe in seatbelts? Fire extinguishers? Door locks? Insurance Policies?

 

[oysterer]

She will NEVER pick this up when you force her to much. Offer the safe and let her know where it is, whats in it and how to access. Nothing more.

Unfortunately she has to get into a more scary situation before believing in being prepared and hopefully never will.

Lastly I think a dog is the best thing, I have 2 and my wife would never be w/o them when I am not here. At night they will create a storm and no bad guy is going to mess with it.

A Belgian Shepherd e.g. will stand the ground and nothing to worry. Better than guns in some ways.

Unless they shoot the dogs which in my case they are going to have 2.

 

[oysterer]

A long time friend now gone had a mean looking 100 lb black dog that many of his friends were afraid of. He liked that and was sure his dog would defend him. One night a guy shoved his way in when my friend opened the door and knocked him on his arse over a woman. He told me his big mean dog actually tried to make up to the guy for petting and attention rather than attack him.

Less you like duck hunting and frisbee avoid retrieving dogs. Get a herding dog or 2 and be done with it.

 

[sikacz]

There’s not much to do. I can understand she doesn’t want even a small safe sitting on a table in her living space. It’s her sense of home and she doesn’t want to see it. You probably should re-evaluate the location. If you can’t hide it from sight, give in to her request. When you’re home, you’re obviously armed. The safe is for her, but she doesn’t like it. Don’t push gun use on her, it’s her choice to arm up or not. Let her make that choice. I don’t think you’ll make headway with your current approach. Let her come to decisions on her own. Years ago when I bought my first handgun, my wife said she didn’t want a loaded handgun in the house. I agreed and said it wouldn’t be loaded. Years passed and one day she said, perhaps we should have a load gun ready just in case. I said okay, I’ll work on setting it up safely. Give it time and don’t stress, she can sense your frustration and it won’t necessarily help your case. Calm is better. On a side note, I was struck by your mall comment. While I understand your sentiment and perspective, let me just pass on a piece of advice my carry license instructor stressed on us, you’re better off being a good witness. If there’s a shooting and you’re armed, seek a place of safety for yourself and your loved ones. Leave the confronting of armed individuals to law enforcement. That advice came from a serving law enforcement officer. It’s good to be armed if you have no way out, otherwise get information and be ready to testify. Good luck with the wife. I don’t know how long you’ve been married, but after 35 years I’ve become an expert at recognizing a no win situation. You’ll be happier when you let her make the choices.