Wife not happy with my efforts to protect the family.

[Mike_Fontenot]

Your wife may not want to shoot anyone.

The interesting question to me is this: If she were actually facing a very bad guy who obviously was about to do her grave harm, would she STILL not want to shoot him?

 

[Mike_Fontenot]

I have never understood this approach.

I conceal carry from the time I am up and dressed until the time I get undressed and get into bed. Then the carry gun goes in a holster on the side of the bed and under the bed spread.

A++

Today, since it's Christmas, I asked my wife what gun I should wear for Christmas. I opted for some bling so I'm carrying my nickel plated 39-2.

D--

(I'm not a fan of switching back and forth between carry guns ... pick one and stick with it.)

 

[max503]

Really, I can't imagine my own wife resorting to name calling and derisive commentary.

Bearing in mind that we only have your perspective, if it's accurate, I'd advise moving on. Or, ask her to jump in here and give us her perspective.

Some people feel like they just got to express their opinion. I let them but OTOH I pretty much ignore them. My wife and I have an unwritten rule not to discuss politics. We disagree 180.

 

[Grayfox]

A bit late to this thread, but I'll add my own thoughts.

You wanna change a woman's mind? Yeah, good luck with that.

I prefer small yappy dogs. They alert me to a problem. I deal with it.

My late wife knew guns and could defend herself. But was also a feisty, full blooded Italian girl. Honestly, I'd feel sorry for anybody who dared to confront her.

 

[Chief Wiggums]

I'm hoping for some insight from the community.

I asked her why she didn't go grab a pistol from the gun safe in the bedroom before she open the door, she said it was too far to the gun safe.

my .02
a gun in a safe (that you cant access) wont keep you safe
my safe is for storing surplus.
the kids are gone which allows us to "stage"

 

[jewie27]

divorce lol

 

[CouchPotato]

Here's my takeaways from what you posted.

1. She's familiar with guns
2. She's not opposed to guns but also not enthusiastic about them
3. She's pissed because you're screwing up the look of her living room.
4. She's not very concerned with having to defend herself.

Number 3 is the important one. I have some experience in retail furniture sales. Most wives are fairly tolerant of most things their husband does until they try to mess around with how the living room looks. Odds are that in her mind, the living room is her room, and she just let's you use it.

Find a lock box that will fit inside the existing furniture without changing the look of anything. If you don't, every day she'll look at that thing, get pissed, and lash out at you in all kinds of ways until she has destroyed your life.

How the living room looks is something she probably cares about more than she'll admit and far more than you can imagine.

 

[sigp220.45]

The thread that won't die!

Let me offer this -

I used to work with an FBI guy who had killed two people in different incidents. One when he was a Sheriff's Deputy in MT and once as an FBI agent. He was a SWAT guy and very knowledgable. He hunted deer and elk and was a regular old boy.

He was in Great Falls and I was on the Blackfeet rez so we saw each other often. Once he came to the rez to arrest a tribal guy who had effed up off the rez. We found the guy and he bolted. My buddy was 6'3" and a solid 200 and could run all day. The guy he was after was 5'9" and 240 with a life of frybread eating behind him. My boy could have caught him in a block but just jogged behind him, looking back at me (in my 4wd) and grinning like a madman. Eventually the bad guy ran out of gas and my buddy walked him to my rig with his arm around his shoulder like a long-lost cousin.

He carried a SWAT-issued 1911 which he tossed in the trunk of his ride like a cabbage when he got home every night. His wife was a beautiful farm girl and he had two little kids. He had a 9 iron by his bed and that was all he needed. He never even carried a gun off duty.

Later we both wound up in Denver. He still had the 9 iron and was doing just fine.

A heartfelt plea - don't let this stuff mess up an otherwise good marriage. The odds of ever needing a gun to defend the homestead are vanishingly small. Just do what you can and move on.

 

[tnmandpshooter]

Have all the guns you want, but that's only a single layer of home defense.



Our house has lighted signs indicating our security company in the front and back yards and stickers on the windows in case they miss the signs.



Talk to any professional theory and they'll acknowledge those signs work. The service may or may not be active, but there are plenty of softer targets to consider.



There are also security cameras that observe the front door, two views of the front and back yards and entrances and a camera on each side of the house, with one also covering the d rive way and garage door. They are mounted high when possible and are conspicuous. There is also adequate lighting to identify anyone in the drive, or front or rear exits.



Most professional criminals don't want to get caught and will again seek a softer target.



They display on a small screen in the house and upload to the cloud so it also makes it easy for us to observe who is knocking at the door before we get anywhere close to it.



Then we have properly set deadbolt locks on the doors and 3M film on the back door glass and the easy to access windows. They can still be broken, but they'll have to work at it and it'll take time.



Then of course we have the security system with door and window sensors on all the first floor windows, as well as glass break alarms in the windowed rooms.



Once the alarm is activated any their knows it will attract attention from neighbors and that their time is also now limited before police respond. In our case we also live on a circle off the end of a single access road about a malfunction mile long. There's one way out to a single road with no other intersections for about a half mile each way. It's not someplace a criminal wants to activate and alarm and then hang around. There are also two police officers who live within a quarter mile of our house, so police cars parked nearby is a majority of the time event.



Finally, we have me and my concealed carry self, as well as an MP5 located for quick access in a bedroom, where my wife is most likely to be if there is a break in at night when I am gone.



We could further improve that by getting a large mean sounding dog. We used to own a Sharpei that was a perfect family dog and would scare the bejeezus out of anyone who came to the door when we were not home.

We have trail cameras around the property the cell tower version ones. We have an 8 camera system that covers every door, vehicle, and yards.

We have those cameras plugged into a 32" tv in the living room.

Front door has a metal entry door. The front storm door is security style with the bars and plexiglass with the dead bolt and regular lock. The front metal door has a keypad lock on the dead bolt and a regular keyed lock on the handle.

We don't have an attack dog just a red tick hound outside who barks when people or other animals are around.

We have no trespassing signs up all over our property. I have a gun safe and guns in it but I do keep a shotgun out in the bedroom for home defense.

I carry everyday. I have a lifetime Tennessee carry permit as well as a off duty law enforcement carry card.


Layering security is always the best option and I to do not open the door without my pistol in hand.

Sent from my SM-A515U using Tapatalk

 

[Rustyt1953]

The OP hasn't logged on in 6 months.

I wonder how he and the missus are getting along.

 

[marct375]

Gun alternative for wife

Motion activated video doorbell, dog would be a good idea if your lifestyle permits it. Pepper Spray?

No reason to create a conflict. Find a mutually satisfactory solution to the perceived problem.

"Never teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work and annoys the pig."

 

[Narragansett]

The OP hasn't logged on in 6 months.

I wonder how he and the missus are getting along.

Well post #76 may have had something to do with that???

 

[biku324]

I never wonder why women specifically can be unenthusiastic about a ready gun in the house.

Homicide

• 1 in 2 female murder victims and 1 in 13 male murder victims
are killed by intimate partners.
• A study of intimate partner homicides found 20% of victims
were family members or friends of the abused partner,
neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement
responders, or bystanders.
• 65% of all murder-suicides are perpetrated by intimate
partners.
• 96% of murder-suicide victims are female.
• Most intimate partner homicides are committed with firearms.
• Abusers' access to firearms increases the risk of intimate
partner femicide at least five-fold. When firearms have been
used in the most severe abuse incident, the risk increases 41-
fold.
• While the overall rate of intimate partner has decreased,
intimate partner femicide has increased in recent years,
driven by an increase in intimate partner femicide committed
with a firearm.
(citations omitted for this post; they're on the original doc at the below address)

https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2497/domestic_violence-2020080709350855.pdf?1596828650457

 

[murphydog]

This thread has more than run its course...closed.