Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well
Years later, when the end finally came to Butch as it must to all, Fred found himself in need of a new star rooster to pick up where Butch left off.
After searching through the local ads, he came across one reading, "For sale, the amazing Brooster the Rooster, the most energetic stud rooster on this planet or any other."
Fred called the number, and after some conversation Brooster's owner brought the famous fowl in a cage over to Fred's ranch. The two dickered over price for a while, as the asking price was very high, but they came to an agreement to let Fred try Brooster out for a week before closing the deal... but Fred had to give Brooster's owner a $1000 cash deposit against harm. Reluctantly, Fred agreed.
Fred noticed that the cage was rocking violently as he approached, and when he opened the door, Brooster the Rooster, all 24 inches of him, burst out in to the sunlight, took one look around the yard, gave out a mighty crow and was within seconds already topping the closest pullet, much to both Fred and the pullet's surprise.
As Fred watched in amazement, Brooster proceeded over the next two hours to get the drop on every pullet in the yard, and was last seen in hot pursuit of the farm's cat, who was in full retreat. Fred shook his head in amazement and went to supper and then to bed.
Fred awoke around midnight to an awful ruckus from the barn; he dressed and took a light out to the dairy stalls to find Brooster gamely attempting to woo one of Fred's milk cows.
Fred chased Brooster out of the barn and went back to bed. As he was drifting off to sleep, he thought he heard some kind of commotion coming from the duck pond, but he was too tired, and a little too worried about what he might see, to investigate.
When Fred woke up the next morning, he headed out to the yard to survey the carnage... but all was eerily silent, and there was no sign of Brooster.
Glancing toward the meadow by the duck pond, Fred was horrified to see several buzzards circling, and a small dark object on the ground.
Fearing the worst, Fred raced over to the meadow, only to see Brooster spread-eagled on the ground below, unmoving.
Convinced that Brooster had managed to give himself a heart attack, and worried about his deposit, Fred ran up calling Brooster's name and trying to figure out how you do CPR on a rooster.
But when he nealt by Brooster's side to try to render aid, the motionless Brooster opened one eye and whispered, "go away, dammit... they're about to land!"
