In High School I took an elective Southwest Archeology class. Stepping off the bus at our first dig the teacher handed out pouches of Red Man chewing tobacco and said that real archeologists chewed. I put a wad in, and actually enjoyed it, even though some of my class mates started to turn green.
About a year later, I was dating a gal, and we went to the drive-in in my 68 Ford Fairlaine (bench seat). This car had an indention in the dash where a clock would have gone, and I found that I could place a little brass cuspidor that I bought in Juarez there, secured with some velcro.
She was sitting next to me, and I was chewing and dumping the cuspidor out the window from time to time. Did I mention that she was wearing white jeans and a white silk top? (I think you know where this is going.) As we got ready to leave I neglected to empty my spittoon of its contents, and as we drove over the humpty-hump that little brass container came loose. After being doused, she scooted to the far side of the car, as close to the door as she could get, and didn't utter a word. I was smart enough to take the 5th as well.
It was a long drive from the east side of El Paso to Chaparral, NM where she lived. Stony cold silence throughout. I pulled up to her door, she got out, and didn't even look back as she went in the house. I did call her the next day to offer to pay for the damages, an offer she refused. We never dated again.
Well, you would think that I had learned my lesson, but oh no. I still chewed after that, and was still chewing when I enlisted. During the first smoke break in BCT I pulled out a pouch and inserted a wad. My Drill Sgt came over and told me that if he saw any of "that nasty stuff" on the base that he would make me lick it up. I took the wad out, deposited it and the rest of the bag in the nearest trash can, and told him "I quit". I then looked around and said "Who has a cigarette?" I then smoked for the next three years and kicked the habit while in Korea.
