Any 1 1/8oz load will give you some pretty good recoil. Most shells are loaded to 1200fps as that's what is specified as minimum for Clay Targte competition.
Not worrying about competition,,seek out a lower velocity and lower payload 12ga round.
That's the route to a lower recoil round.
Off the shelf loads in 12ga are mfg with shotloads as low as 7/8oz and will do anything you need them to as far as the Clay games and most hunting goes.
But again they are loaded to the 1200fps unless a 'specialty' round noted as Low Recoil' or some such tag.
To get the lower recoil,,you need the lower velocity,,or shot payload,,or better yet both.