She is safe and you know where she is. That is a blessing. She made a bad decision. She is still young and has time to come to her senses. I hope that she does. I was told that when raising kids that you are like a bow and your kid the arrow. The best that you can do is to point them in the right direction and let them fly. If you have done your part and raised her well she will be okay. My prayers are with you.
Requesting Prayer and Advice
- Thread starter ect1222t
- Start date
For what it's worth, my daughter "went off the reservation" with some tool (we'll call him Mr. Tool) about the time she was supposed to start college and I had many fears similar to yours. Mr. Tool couldn't hold a job and didn't see any value in obtaining an education. He was however really good at drinking and crashing other people's cars, including my daughter's. The fact that he couldn't/wouldn't pay for the damages should have been a big clue for her, but she persisited in seeing Mr. Tool.
She eventually wised up and sent him down the road. She never disclosed what the final straw was, and it doesn't really matter. She graduated from college earlier this year, is working for the NPS and has a Republican boyfriend who graduates from college next year.
Your daughter had a lot going for her before she met this creep and she will come to her senses at some point. I know how much a situation like this can wear on a parent and I hope that a happy resolution is in your near future.
Brian~
She eventually wised up and sent him down the road. She never disclosed what the final straw was, and it doesn't really matter. She graduated from college earlier this year, is working for the NPS and has a Republican boyfriend who graduates from college next year.
Your daughter had a lot going for her before she met this creep and she will come to her senses at some point. I know how much a situation like this can wear on a parent and I hope that a happy resolution is in your near future.
Brian~
Last edited:
I agree with pawncop. Ignorant people try to blame the parents when kids make stupid choices. I don't buy that for one minute. Sometimes? Maybe but not always. I've been through something similar minus the moving away part. All you can do is hope. I've had my heart broke more than once by more than one of my children. Terrible twos????? Give me a break. The real hard part starts when the teenage years come. I'm convinced more than ever about the role genetics play in the whole thing too. Genes from an idiot ancestor passed down. Seek out some emotional help quickly. That plays a role in the health aspect as well. I know it's easy for folks to say don't worry about it (which is impossible) but the sooner you can realize that her choices are hers and have nothing to do with you and how you raised her, the better off you'll be emotionally and physically.
Hopefully it will be temporary insanity on her part.
Last edited:
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
She's alive amigo, she's alive....That's all that counts. Be there to hug her when she comes back home. Take care of yourself. Remember lessons such as the one she is going to learn are wonderful things and 5 years from now-a missed year of college won't mean squat. A lot of people have been through what you are going through. Although I have not, I deal with it almost daily and my prayers are with you. But remember again, she's alive.
Via con Dios.
Via con Dios.
As others have said she is alive , keep in touch with her and work to keep your self well so that she has someone to fall back on when she is ready .Yes pray a lot.
walt o
walt o
Yep, your daughter is alive. So are you. It's not time to blame or self-pity...
It's time to say a prayer of thanks that your daughter is alive...not to mention the sun came up this morning.
I've passed on my prayers and wish you and your family all the best!!
Bob
It's time to say a prayer of thanks that your daughter is alive...not to mention the sun came up this morning.
I've passed on my prayers and wish you and your family all the best!!
Bob
Spotteddog
Member
She's alive and as well as circumstances will allow.
I don't think I could have withstood having girls? I have enough trouble having a grand daughter!
You have my prayers. Be as patient, as she has not been.
I don't think I could have withstood having girls? I have enough trouble having a grand daughter!
You have my prayers. Be as patient, as she has not been.
Joe in SC
US Veteran
My prayers are with you and your family. I raised 2 kids and can tell you that both didn't live up to my expectations for them. I was expecting TOO much. Once I realized that they were going to do what they wanted to do and got rid of my expectations most of the internal struggle disappeared.
The same GOD that took care of you when you were young and perhaps making not so good decisions will take care of her. You have asked GOD to watch over her. Many of your friends here and elsewhere have done the same, I'm sure. The hard part is to let go and trust HIM to do what you cannot do at this time. It's what seperates the men from the boys, it's getting down there where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. I've been there brother and it is tough to sit by and watch. Let go and let GOD!
The good news is this, from my personal experience: Some of the worst things (as I perceived them) that ever happened to me and my kids turned out to be blessings in disguise. That's the way all things seem to turn out for me when I trust in my creator.
Somebody told me one time when I was in a situation with one of my kids, that what I needed more than anything was both my feet on the ground and that I couldn't have that if I kept one of them constantly in the air kicking my own ass (worrying) over this child. Turned out to be good advice for me. Your wagon certainly seems to be loaded at this time. Keep the faith, continue the prayers and as someone else said, keep the light on for her, she's gonna be OK. Make sure you are.
God Bless
Joe in SC
The same GOD that took care of you when you were young and perhaps making not so good decisions will take care of her. You have asked GOD to watch over her. Many of your friends here and elsewhere have done the same, I'm sure. The hard part is to let go and trust HIM to do what you cannot do at this time. It's what seperates the men from the boys, it's getting down there where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. I've been there brother and it is tough to sit by and watch. Let go and let GOD!
The good news is this, from my personal experience: Some of the worst things (as I perceived them) that ever happened to me and my kids turned out to be blessings in disguise. That's the way all things seem to turn out for me when I trust in my creator.
Somebody told me one time when I was in a situation with one of my kids, that what I needed more than anything was both my feet on the ground and that I couldn't have that if I kept one of them constantly in the air kicking my own ass (worrying) over this child. Turned out to be good advice for me. Your wagon certainly seems to be loaded at this time. Keep the faith, continue the prayers and as someone else said, keep the light on for her, she's gonna be OK. Make sure you are.
God Bless
Joe in SC
Sir,
Joe in S.C. is a wise man. He's let a wiser and better Father be in charge. I appreciate his thoughts as I too have "issues" with children (as many of us do)...
I hope you see and feel the wisdom of his words.
Bob
Joe in S.C. is a wise man. He's let a wiser and better Father be in charge. I appreciate his thoughts as I too have "issues" with children (as many of us do)...
I hope you see and feel the wisdom of his words.
Bob
mountaingun629
Member
ecct1222t -
Been there - my stepdaughter dropped out of college to shack up with some undesirable guy and help him in his business. He spent all his money in the bars and got abusive.
Long story short, she finally got tired of the nonsense and left him. Went back to college and worked herself through college and graduate school. She now has a Master's degree and teaches in a large middle school, has her own house and a new car. (Still in hock up to her eyeballs, though.)
Take care of your health first and foremost, and turn it over to God. We can't help but worry in that kind of situation, but try not to dwell on it.
Myron
Been there - my stepdaughter dropped out of college to shack up with some undesirable guy and help him in his business. He spent all his money in the bars and got abusive.
Long story short, she finally got tired of the nonsense and left him. Went back to college and worked herself through college and graduate school. She now has a Master's degree and teaches in a large middle school, has her own house and a new car. (Still in hock up to her eyeballs, though.)
Take care of your health first and foremost, and turn it over to God. We can't help but worry in that kind of situation, but try not to dwell on it.
Myron
Jeb Stonewall
Member
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2008
- Messages
- 194
- Reaction score
- 5
You got a lot of good advice here already.
Let me add this, DON'T run her loser boyfriend down.
She will end up defending him to you, instead of seeing him for what he really is.
Might make it harder to break up with the loser if she feels she will have to live with the ,
" I told you so's."
Let me add this, DON'T run her loser boyfriend down.
She will end up defending him to you, instead of seeing him for what he really is.
Might make it harder to break up with the loser if she feels she will have to live with the ,
" I told you so's."
Thank you, friends, for all of the prayers and good advice. It's very hard to not worry when you see an otherwise intelligent young lady throw away basically free college to be with a scum sucking leach. I think it was something like $36K for the year, and she would have had to pay only $174.00 per month, which would have been more than covered by work study. The Admissions counselor and Financial aid office said they've never seen so much in grants and scholarships, which she's throwing away. I just hope she can get most of them back when her brains come out of her butt and go back where they belong. On my meager $604.00 per month Social Security Disability, there's no way that I could afford to pay for college for her. It's even harder to let her go. She's a small town girl, and too trusting. I see on the news and read in the paper about all of the terrible things that happen to young ladies in the cities and it just terrifies me. I know I worry too much about her, but then again, maybe I don't worry enough. She's my baby girl. I know I need to turn it over to God, but I pray and then I worry even more. I pray for answers and only wind up more confused. She and leach knew better than to tell me about this trip before they left. They, at least she, knew that I would do anything in my power to stop the trip. I can't even go into her room without crying. Can't sleep, have to remind myself to eat and take my meds and check my glucose levels.
Saw the Hemotologist today, infused another 4400 IU's of factor 8, and he wanted to admit me for "observation". Means he doesn't know exactly what's going on. I told him no. I have to be home incase my daughter calls. I don't have a cell phone. Reasons? 1. I can't afford such a luxury. 2. I don't believe the world will end if I can't make a call immediately. 3. I just plain hate them.
I know I have to let her fly, to make her own mistakes. But I also don't want to let her fall. I know I can't always protect her, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to. When she was living in town and working, I knew she would come home from time to time to get something or simply to do her laundry. But knowing that she's out of state now just makes me realize that I'm alone. Empty nest syndrom, I guess. Again, thanks for the prayers, the advice, and for letting me ramble. -Ed.
Saw the Hemotologist today, infused another 4400 IU's of factor 8, and he wanted to admit me for "observation". Means he doesn't know exactly what's going on. I told him no. I have to be home incase my daughter calls. I don't have a cell phone. Reasons? 1. I can't afford such a luxury. 2. I don't believe the world will end if I can't make a call immediately. 3. I just plain hate them.
I know I have to let her fly, to make her own mistakes. But I also don't want to let her fall. I know I can't always protect her, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to. When she was living in town and working, I knew she would come home from time to time to get something or simply to do her laundry. But knowing that she's out of state now just makes me realize that I'm alone. Empty nest syndrom, I guess. Again, thanks for the prayers, the advice, and for letting me ramble. -Ed.
tyusclan
Member
No advice to offer, but I will be praying for you and your family.
Blessings to you.
Blessings to you.
Update:
Thanks again for the advice and prayers, both those offered here and to those who e-mailed me privately.
Update: My daughter called just about two hours ago now, all excited. They had just crossed into Illinois at the Beloit Toll Plaza. She didn't know what a toll was or why everyone had to stop. I forgot to tell her about the toll road. When I escaped Illinois, it was only .35 cents. Now it's a buck. Greedy politicians. Didn't tell her what effect her leaving like that has had on me, she doesn't need to know. Went to the doctor again today, more factor 8, after consulting with others, he now wants to put a tube with a camera down my throat. Wanted to do it today, immediately. Was there anyone who could drive me home? No. Could anyone come and get me? No. OK, let's do it 7:30 AM tomorrow morning. Yeah, Sure. Hope he holds his breath. It's going to be a long wait. Besides, it takes a while to set up transportation when you're talking long distances. And I don't like hospitals. Doctor's office is bad enough.
Thanks again for the advice and prayers, both those offered here and to those who e-mailed me privately.
Update: My daughter called just about two hours ago now, all excited. They had just crossed into Illinois at the Beloit Toll Plaza. She didn't know what a toll was or why everyone had to stop. I forgot to tell her about the toll road. When I escaped Illinois, it was only .35 cents. Now it's a buck. Greedy politicians. Didn't tell her what effect her leaving like that has had on me, she doesn't need to know. Went to the doctor again today, more factor 8, after consulting with others, he now wants to put a tube with a camera down my throat. Wanted to do it today, immediately. Was there anyone who could drive me home? No. Could anyone come and get me? No. OK, let's do it 7:30 AM tomorrow morning. Yeah, Sure. Hope he holds his breath. It's going to be a long wait. Besides, it takes a while to set up transportation when you're talking long distances. And I don't like hospitals. Doctor's office is bad enough.
Last edited:
That's dead on advice Jeb. Good stuff.
Only if I'm behind the wheel and she's not with him. Wait. After an "accident", aren't you supposed to stop, BACK UP (over him), and offer assistance?
Matt83
Member
That does seem sort of messed up, but if she is 18 then she is an adult and can make her own decisions. You just got to let her do her own thing.
BarbC
Member
The good news is she keeps calling you. That's all the difference in the world between an "adventure" and "running off". And the good news about "adventures" is that they come to an end.
So take care of yourself and be there for her.
So take care of yourself and be there for her.
Titan
Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2007
- Messages
- 725
- Reaction score
- 92
I wish I had the capacity and skill to ease your worries and suffering.
Please take care of yourself, understanding she will ultimately need you when this passes. Try to think of how badly she'll feel if she comes to realize that her lapses in judgement caused you permanent harm.
I will pray for both of you.
.
Please take care of yourself, understanding she will ultimately need you when this passes. Try to think of how badly she'll feel if she comes to realize that her lapses in judgement caused you permanent harm.
I will pray for both of you.
.
Similar threads
