BuckeyeChuck
Member
I have long thought that our society increasingly deprecates children, at least, the middle and upper-middle class does. Having fewer and fewer children, having them spaced far apart, or considering others crazy for having more than two: these are all signs. I posted this partly in response to the ongoing poll about which is worse, abuse of animals or neglect of children. I stated therein that I draw a moral line betweeen people and animals. Human life has dignity and sanctity; animal life has only dignity. Children are people; animals are property.
I've had many discussions with people around or younger than I who have had one children. When asked if they will have more, they wrinkle their noses and say "We're not sure. One may be enough." I then have some questions for them:
(1) Do you have brothers and sisters? "Yes!" they all exclaim. Usually the women say "I love my siblings!" or "I don't know what I'd do without them." I then point out that their choice to have only one child means their child will not have the richness they so happily proclaim.
(2) Do you have aunts and uncles and cousins? "Yes!" they all exclaim. Then they go on to tell stories about Christmas or Thanksgiving or the summer get-togethers. I ask them if they are aware that their grandchildren will have none of that on their side of the family. Often they say they haven't actually thought of those details.
I then point out that if their only child marries another only child and they choose to have only one child, their grandchild will have no siblings, no aunts and uncles, and no cousins. NONE. They won't have memories of wrestling on the floor with their Uncle Scott, or the overnights stays with their cousins when they played football in the basement until 2 AM and then watched a horror movie until 4:30.
"That's what friends are for." I consider this a concomitant deprecation of the family unit. They go hand-in-glove.
I also ask these people what life would be like if they lost their only child. The answer is that it is unthinkable, of course. I have three sons and I would be devastated if any of them passed before I did, especially as children, but my wife and I have actually discussed how grateful we are that we have more than one child so that if one is taken, we will still have others with whom we can share the struggle and growth and who can carry on the hope of life.
Everybody should know as they read this that when the media disparagingly refers to those who cling to their Bibles and their guns, I proudly put up my hand. My faith colors my view.
I would like to say this deprecation is less prevalent inside the Protestant church, but I'm not sure it is. I attend a large church in Columbus that I would describe as rather evagelical. My two older boys play in the youth basketball league. They are coached by a man and his wife whose son is on the team. (They run a lousy, lousy practice, by the way.) They have two children: a daughter about 10, and the aforementioned son (six or seven).
Team photos were two weeks ago during practice. While standing in line, the male coach struck up a conversation with a mother also standing in line. To my astonishment and disgust it went something like this:
Coach: Yeah, I've got these neighbors a couple doors down that are crazy. They've always taken care of foster kids. They've got three of their own and adopted one of the foster kids. Now they have another foster child. I'm thinking, are you CRAZY?!
Woman: Yeah, that IS crazy!
I admit that I saw red. I said nothing because I wish to live peaceably with my fellow churchgoers, but I wanted to ask him a couple of questions.
What's crazy? Is having several children nuts? If yes, please tell me the number at which the number of children becomes crazy? We're not talking about 15 children, or 10 children, or even 7 or 8 children, but only five. So what number is it? Two? Three? Or four? And how would you know? You only have two. What is the difference between two and three. Please tell me; as a father of three, I must know what it is that makes the additional child so burdensome. Perhaps you will tell me something of which I was not aware by my greater ongoing experience, but I doubt it.
Furthermore, these people not only take care of the children that are theirs, but they have opened their home to provide love and sustenance for a child that NOBODY else wants. THIS is crazy? No sir. This is honorable and laudable in the extreme. THIS is what Christ meant when he said that if you do this unto the least of these, you do it unto Him. THIS is what he meant when he said lay your treasure in heaven where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt. In short, THESE are the people who demonstrate the character of the savior we both accept, but YOU think they're crazy. THAT is nuts.
Know what's ironic? If these guys had fostered a stray dog instead of a parentless child, I have no doubt these same people would laud them for their compassion and care.
I've had many discussions with people around or younger than I who have had one children. When asked if they will have more, they wrinkle their noses and say "We're not sure. One may be enough." I then have some questions for them:
(1) Do you have brothers and sisters? "Yes!" they all exclaim. Usually the women say "I love my siblings!" or "I don't know what I'd do without them." I then point out that their choice to have only one child means their child will not have the richness they so happily proclaim.
(2) Do you have aunts and uncles and cousins? "Yes!" they all exclaim. Then they go on to tell stories about Christmas or Thanksgiving or the summer get-togethers. I ask them if they are aware that their grandchildren will have none of that on their side of the family. Often they say they haven't actually thought of those details.
I then point out that if their only child marries another only child and they choose to have only one child, their grandchild will have no siblings, no aunts and uncles, and no cousins. NONE. They won't have memories of wrestling on the floor with their Uncle Scott, or the overnights stays with their cousins when they played football in the basement until 2 AM and then watched a horror movie until 4:30.
"That's what friends are for." I consider this a concomitant deprecation of the family unit. They go hand-in-glove.
I also ask these people what life would be like if they lost their only child. The answer is that it is unthinkable, of course. I have three sons and I would be devastated if any of them passed before I did, especially as children, but my wife and I have actually discussed how grateful we are that we have more than one child so that if one is taken, we will still have others with whom we can share the struggle and growth and who can carry on the hope of life.
Everybody should know as they read this that when the media disparagingly refers to those who cling to their Bibles and their guns, I proudly put up my hand. My faith colors my view.
I would like to say this deprecation is less prevalent inside the Protestant church, but I'm not sure it is. I attend a large church in Columbus that I would describe as rather evagelical. My two older boys play in the youth basketball league. They are coached by a man and his wife whose son is on the team. (They run a lousy, lousy practice, by the way.) They have two children: a daughter about 10, and the aforementioned son (six or seven).
Team photos were two weeks ago during practice. While standing in line, the male coach struck up a conversation with a mother also standing in line. To my astonishment and disgust it went something like this:
Coach: Yeah, I've got these neighbors a couple doors down that are crazy. They've always taken care of foster kids. They've got three of their own and adopted one of the foster kids. Now they have another foster child. I'm thinking, are you CRAZY?!
Woman: Yeah, that IS crazy!
I admit that I saw red. I said nothing because I wish to live peaceably with my fellow churchgoers, but I wanted to ask him a couple of questions.
What's crazy? Is having several children nuts? If yes, please tell me the number at which the number of children becomes crazy? We're not talking about 15 children, or 10 children, or even 7 or 8 children, but only five. So what number is it? Two? Three? Or four? And how would you know? You only have two. What is the difference between two and three. Please tell me; as a father of three, I must know what it is that makes the additional child so burdensome. Perhaps you will tell me something of which I was not aware by my greater ongoing experience, but I doubt it.
Furthermore, these people not only take care of the children that are theirs, but they have opened their home to provide love and sustenance for a child that NOBODY else wants. THIS is crazy? No sir. This is honorable and laudable in the extreme. THIS is what Christ meant when he said that if you do this unto the least of these, you do it unto Him. THIS is what he meant when he said lay your treasure in heaven where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt. In short, THESE are the people who demonstrate the character of the savior we both accept, but YOU think they're crazy. THAT is nuts.
Know what's ironic? If these guys had fostered a stray dog instead of a parentless child, I have no doubt these same people would laud them for their compassion and care.
