Good news and bad news. After three days of trying to get a live agent on the phone, I finally got one in the Charlotte NC regional office that called back. Very nice woman and she knew her stuff. She offered to call the dealer and assist. I gave her the phone number and their FFL number. Twenty minutes later she calls back and asks if the dealer had called me yet. I said no. She was puzzled. She made it very clear to the dealer that they were to call me immediately and say to come by. I was about 15 minutes away and went to the dealer. The owner was courteous and did mention that the ATF had just called him. It took 5 minutes and I left with the stamped form 4 and a brand new unfired suppressor. I had my goal met, so there was no need to start any confrontations or throw blame or rules around. This is obviously the good news.
Now for the bad news: According to the ATF, the suppressor belongs to the dealer even after the stamp gets issued. The approved form 4 merely allows ME to buy it. The dealer can at any time up until physical transfer, void the sale and keep it. Even if it was paid for. The agent said they actually do get lots of requests from dealers to cancel sales. The dealer then has to request the stamp be voided and the $200 refunded to the applicant. If they do that, they can keep the item and refuse to do the transfer. ATF has zero control over the money paid for an item to the dealer. That's my problem.
I asked why would a dealer choose to do this. I was told that dealers will sometimes want to keep the item themselves. Maybe they sold it too cheap a year ago, maybe they want it for a rental or display unit, etc.
The transfer is not final until physical delivery to the buyer and a form 4473 filled out. No NICS check needed for a form 4 item, so the transfer needs no additional processing.
I am glad it is resolved.
I would recommend researching the repute of any class III dealer before going through them. After reading this post.
Lately some FFL dealers in my area have done some ethically questionable things.
Let the buyer beware.