GatorFarmer
Member
Those of us of a certain age likely have distinct memories of these little furry forest dwellers of the forest moon of Endor. Many of us probably slept with images of them on our bedsheets and jammies and perhaps had a curry stuffed one to hug at night.
Only, now, 30 odd years on, does the horrible truth begin to sink in. As children we were lied to. Ewoks were not harmless hairy little teddy bears. They had fangs. They ate people.
Remember that celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi? Something always bothered me about it. I even remember asking my mother about it. "What happened to all those Imperial soldiers who surrendered?"
My mother told me that they let them all go to join in the peace feast.
She lied.
They WERE the peace feast. The Ewoks, and by possible extension the "good guy" rebels ATE them.
We even see Ewoks playing the drums on discarded helmets....and earlier we see that they keep skulls as trophies and decorations.
Remember when the Ewoks captured Han Solo and the others? Sure they were going to keep Princess Leia, likely for some horrible breeding purpose....but the others? The Ewoks were going to roast them alive and eat them. This was their very explicit intention for humans. Presumably they had done it before, thus the reason Imperial troops avoided those terrible dark forests.
Really, who were the good guys....The Rebels turned over prisoners to their new found Allies to be roasted and eaten. Knoing that the Ewoks ate people already, and still they did it, and then joined in the feasting.
The Empire meanwhile just imprisons their captives and engages in a bit of....torture lite. They don't eat them. Even their most hated enemies, they attempt to take alive or even convince to switch sides. Darth Vader tried to get Luke to join him. Earlier, when he employs Boba Fet and the bounty hunters, he even specifically says to take Han Solo alive, warning Boba against disintegration.
The Imperial interrogation droid, their most dreaded instrument seemed to use only an injection of truth serum. Notice that when Princess Leia was a prisoner and then rescued, she was well fed, clean, still had her own clothes and had no injuries.
She was not roasted and served in the mess hall on the Death Star.
Nazi Smurfs, man eating Ewoks...our childhood was lies, all lies...
Only, now, 30 odd years on, does the horrible truth begin to sink in. As children we were lied to. Ewoks were not harmless hairy little teddy bears. They had fangs. They ate people.
Remember that celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi? Something always bothered me about it. I even remember asking my mother about it. "What happened to all those Imperial soldiers who surrendered?"
My mother told me that they let them all go to join in the peace feast.
She lied.
They WERE the peace feast. The Ewoks, and by possible extension the "good guy" rebels ATE them.
We even see Ewoks playing the drums on discarded helmets....and earlier we see that they keep skulls as trophies and decorations.
Remember when the Ewoks captured Han Solo and the others? Sure they were going to keep Princess Leia, likely for some horrible breeding purpose....but the others? The Ewoks were going to roast them alive and eat them. This was their very explicit intention for humans. Presumably they had done it before, thus the reason Imperial troops avoided those terrible dark forests.
Really, who were the good guys....The Rebels turned over prisoners to their new found Allies to be roasted and eaten. Knoing that the Ewoks ate people already, and still they did it, and then joined in the feasting.
The Empire meanwhile just imprisons their captives and engages in a bit of....torture lite. They don't eat them. Even their most hated enemies, they attempt to take alive or even convince to switch sides. Darth Vader tried to get Luke to join him. Earlier, when he employs Boba Fet and the bounty hunters, he even specifically says to take Han Solo alive, warning Boba against disintegration.
The Imperial interrogation droid, their most dreaded instrument seemed to use only an injection of truth serum. Notice that when Princess Leia was a prisoner and then rescued, she was well fed, clean, still had her own clothes and had no injuries.
She was not roasted and served in the mess hall on the Death Star.
Nazi Smurfs, man eating Ewoks...our childhood was lies, all lies...
