The obvious
Mom is the "Loser" . Dad is the winner trying to guide his son. She will lose her son when he turns 18.
Mom is the "Loser" . Dad is the winner trying to guide his son. She will lose her son when he turns 18.
I was scolded for teaching a youngster to shoot.
- Thread starter Jinglebob
- Start date
I would imagine all the "disregard the mother" folks posting would have no problem if someone directed their child to disregard what they told him or her. Yeah, sure you would.
This has nothing to do with what you would like to do and everything to do with minding your own business.
The OP has been a good influence on this boy which is admirable, but when the mother requests he not do something, he should just accept that which appears to be just what he has done.
Had anyone tried to disregard my instructions to one of my children, there would have been the devil to pay.
Some nosey lady scolded me for my baby crying and told me to feed the child. When I told her my child was breast fed, she turned red and quickly walked away. (I did not have the equipment to feed her.) Looks like we have similar folks thinking they have a right to tell this mother how to raise her child.
This has nothing to do with what you would like to do and everything to do with minding your own business.
The OP has been a good influence on this boy which is admirable, but when the mother requests he not do something, he should just accept that which appears to be just what he has done.
Had anyone tried to disregard my instructions to one of my children, there would have been the devil to pay.
Some nosey lady scolded me for my baby crying and told me to feed the child. When I told her my child was breast fed, she turned red and quickly walked away. (I did not have the equipment to feed her.) Looks like we have similar folks thinking they have a right to tell this mother how to raise her child.
What you did is being the Father that the boy doesn't have and it makes him and you all the better for it.
I can't believe those on this Forum for their remarks that what you did was wrong.
In time that this boy will understand why and how to lie to his mother. I don't condone this but it is what happens. She will put down his Father and you for all the things that you do and drive this boy away from her.
Why can't women just try to be a Mother and not assert this kind of behavior.
Be a mentor to this boy and give him all the positives and help him to become a man.
Merry Christmas.
I can't believe those on this Forum for their remarks that what you did was wrong.
In time that this boy will understand why and how to lie to his mother. I don't condone this but it is what happens. She will put down his Father and you for all the things that you do and drive this boy away from her.
Why can't women just try to be a Mother and not assert this kind of behavior.
Be a mentor to this boy and give him all the positives and help him to become a man.
Merry Christmas.
I have mixed thoughts - however my reactions swing much more to the positive than the negative.
It is so important for boys to have positive interactions with men who are not their dads - whether the family is full of stress or not. It provides, IMHO, a really valuable broadening of experiences.
In this situation having that role model when the kid is in a rough situation is that much more important. How fantastic that you're able and willing and patient enough to give him those positive experiences.
Shooting, however, is charged in our society. I firmly believe in teaching young people to shoot - as evidenced by the fact I'm a shooting instructor for the Boy Scouts. One night our troop had a merit badge information night: Different counselors set up stations and Scouts could rotate from table to table. I brought in a few rounds of ammunition and talked about the Shooting Sports program. Kids could sign up for a merit badge class I was going to teach. However after the meeting I contacted the parent of each kid who signed up in case the parent wasn't there that evening and didn't know what was going on.
I wonder if there is a way to get some sort of parental approval to enable that kid to keep shooting with you. Maybe the dad brings him over when he has responsibility for him? I love the idea of somehow trying to befriend the mom to get her OK for you to keep it up.
Good luck and I hope it works out!
OR
It is so important for boys to have positive interactions with men who are not their dads - whether the family is full of stress or not. It provides, IMHO, a really valuable broadening of experiences.
In this situation having that role model when the kid is in a rough situation is that much more important. How fantastic that you're able and willing and patient enough to give him those positive experiences.
Shooting, however, is charged in our society. I firmly believe in teaching young people to shoot - as evidenced by the fact I'm a shooting instructor for the Boy Scouts. One night our troop had a merit badge information night: Different counselors set up stations and Scouts could rotate from table to table. I brought in a few rounds of ammunition and talked about the Shooting Sports program. Kids could sign up for a merit badge class I was going to teach. However after the meeting I contacted the parent of each kid who signed up in case the parent wasn't there that evening and didn't know what was going on.
I wonder if there is a way to get some sort of parental approval to enable that kid to keep shooting with you. Maybe the dad brings him over when he has responsibility for him? I love the idea of somehow trying to befriend the mom to get her OK for you to keep it up.
Good luck and I hope it works out!
OR
Snapping Twig
Member
I suppose I'm who you are referring to.
I said to disassociate with her, have nothing to do with her as it will only end poorly.
As to disregarding what she wants, I said to contact the Father to get him on board. There's two parents here, the mother does NOT get a hall pass at the expense of the Father.
The kid is looking for masculine role models and is not interested in feminization and I am hoping he achieves this goal and becomes a motivated and kind man for it.
MSgt G
US Veteran
Amen. They love both of their parents, regardless.
Retired Chief
US Veteran
What a sorry state of affairs. I used my GI Bill to attend law school, and was licensed for over 35 years. I placed my license on retired status, partly because I simply didn't want to deal with people who have no real knowledge about what they are talking about but still have all the answers. (and I quit doing divorces years ago!)
As has been said, while Mom may have everyday care, custody and control, she does not get a free pass. Tell the young man the truth that mom is uncomfortable with guns, and doesn't want him shooting with you. Contact dad and extend an invitation to bring the boy over during weekend visitation and all 3 of you can visit the range. As grandma truly has day-to-day control, make sure she is on your young man's side.
My daughter teaches at a church school. Every year they have an auction of donated items. She has "donated" 3 hours of range time with an NRA firearms instructor (me) the last couple of years. It has become a hot item at the auction, last year bringing in $500. Dad (so far, all dads) and son (so far, all boys) both shoot. We start with a bolt-action
.22 rifle and work up to an AR, then a 20 gauge with slugs, then go to a
.22 revolver and work up through revolvers and auto loaders, finishing with a S&W Mod 29 loaded with 44 Specials (one magnum round for dad). We start with paper targets and move to tomatos, water bottles and finish with a watermelon! Been a great time, and I still get contacts from both the kids and the dads. There are few things you can do that assist in the development of young people that show better results than teaching them the proper use of firearms.
As has been said, while Mom may have everyday care, custody and control, she does not get a free pass. Tell the young man the truth that mom is uncomfortable with guns, and doesn't want him shooting with you. Contact dad and extend an invitation to bring the boy over during weekend visitation and all 3 of you can visit the range. As grandma truly has day-to-day control, make sure she is on your young man's side.
My daughter teaches at a church school. Every year they have an auction of donated items. She has "donated" 3 hours of range time with an NRA firearms instructor (me) the last couple of years. It has become a hot item at the auction, last year bringing in $500. Dad (so far, all dads) and son (so far, all boys) both shoot. We start with a bolt-action
.22 rifle and work up to an AR, then a 20 gauge with slugs, then go to a
.22 revolver and work up through revolvers and auto loaders, finishing with a S&W Mod 29 loaded with 44 Specials (one magnum round for dad). We start with paper targets and move to tomatos, water bottles and finish with a watermelon! Been a great time, and I still get contacts from both the kids and the dads. There are few things you can do that assist in the development of young people that show better results than teaching them the proper use of firearms.
Do you know what their dissolution decree says? Do they have joint legal decision-making? Does one of them have sole legal decision-making? Presumptive? Joint with final say?
Is there some reason the Dad can't teach the kid to shoot himself? The OP not shooting with the kid isn't "at the expense of the father." OP isn't dad.
While I think the OP's heart is in the right place, I think it's a mistake to side with one parent. If EITHER parent is opposed to the kid doing something it's not the role of a neighbor to let the kid do it. "Billy I know your mom doesn't want you doing this but your dad told me it's okay so you can ignore what mom says." That really isn't going to help.
Don't tell anybody......
But I'm glad you let the little feller shoot. Mom's are often very wrong about what their kids, especially boys, enjoy and need because of fear for their safety. He'll probably remember that day forever. I'm REALLY glad that I grew up before guns became, in many people's minds, evil.
I also think that you are a very important person in his life. You've already done a lot for him, shooting aside. Stay on Mom's good side and spend more time with your little buddy. Sounds like he could really use a friend and it's just about the most important job in the world to steer a kid right.
But I'm glad you let the little feller shoot. Mom's are often very wrong about what their kids, especially boys, enjoy and need because of fear for their safety. He'll probably remember that day forever. I'm REALLY glad that I grew up before guns became, in many people's minds, evil.
I also think that you are a very important person in his life. You've already done a lot for him, shooting aside. Stay on Mom's good side and spend more time with your little buddy. Sounds like he could really use a friend and it's just about the most important job in the world to steer a kid right.
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You are more important to him....
You are more important to him neutral and not in the conflicts between mom and dad, though I'm really glad you took up for the father rather than disparaging the mother. She's angry and is looking at the boy more like a possession than a kid with needs. She needs to heal rather than project anger to him.
You are more important to him neutral and not in the conflicts between mom and dad, though I'm really glad you took up for the father rather than disparaging the mother. She's angry and is looking at the boy more like a possession than a kid with needs. She needs to heal rather than project anger to him.
hangnoose
Member
NO GOOD DEED....
Obviously the Mother is trying to brainwash the kid against his Father and guns. You meant well of course, but the Father should have been there to see/teach the kid to fire his first pistol rounds if possible,MAYBE. Your in a tough spot, not as bad as the kid. Until you can talk to the Dad & get both sides of the story, better just stick to fishing. I think you did well to give the kid some positive feedback about his Father, hopefully he is worthy of your praise. There are 2 sides to every story and the truth somewhere in the middle. There may be things you just don't know.
Obviously the Mother is trying to brainwash the kid against his Father and guns. You meant well of course, but the Father should have been there to see/teach the kid to fire his first pistol rounds if possible,MAYBE. Your in a tough spot, not as bad as the kid. Until you can talk to the Dad & get both sides of the story, better just stick to fishing. I think you did well to give the kid some positive feedback about his Father, hopefully he is worthy of your praise. There are 2 sides to every story and the truth somewhere in the middle. There may be things you just don't know.
rcnixon
Member
They already have a bad relationship. It seems to me, from the outside, that dad got out while he could. I'm sad because he had to leave the boy behind.
