Could you help a fella out.

Wingmaster

Wingmaster

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Starting with a little background.

My Dad passed away when I was 9 years old. My family on my Dads side wasn't real good to my Mom.

My Dads best friend, probably seeing what was going on, offered my Mom the opportunity to start over in Gillette Wyoming. That's when we moved here and Don and his wife moved my Mom, Me and my older brother into their home and we stayed there for several months until we could get our trailer house moved to Gillette. Then we moved into our trailer and my Mom started a new life. Later Don introduced my Mom to my step Dad who took me and my brother in as his own and treated us like his own kids.

Last friday I got a message from Dons grandaughter that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the doctors gave him one month to live.

All I have been able to think about is Don and what he did for my Mom, me and my brother. And it went farther than that. We did almost everything with them. Camping, fishing, they were always at my birthday parties and on and on. He was a really big influence on my life. A really good guy and family friend.

My question/problem is, His grandaughter gave me his phone number and said he would really like to hear from me. The thing is I don't know what to say. I am honored to think that he would even think of me at this point in his life. I really want to talk to him but don't think I can without breaking down. I'm getting tears in my eyes now just typing this.

Don is a really great guy and I can't say how much of an influence he had on me when I was growing up. If I have any good attributes I can honestly say I owe them to Don.

I am going to call him in the morning. Could any of you help me out with how to handle this situation. I'm really having a hard time thinking of what to say and how to say it.

Thank You for any suggestions.

Wingmaster
 
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Tell him what you just told us.....what a difference he made in the lives of you, your mom and brother. Let him know how much he and what he did for all you meant to you and your family and just let the conversation go from there.

BTW....Prayers sent for your friend!


Don
 
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woodsltc said:
Tell him what you just told us.....what a difference he made in the lives of you, your mom and brother. Let him know how much he and what he did for all you meant to you and your family and just let the conversation go from there.

BTW....Prayers sent for your friend!


Don
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I concur. He knows he was a help in your lives. Sounds like he didn't ask for anything in return. But your thanks and appreciation to him now could hopefully bring him some happiness in spite of what he is facing.

I'm sorry that this is happening and prayers have been sent for you, him and his family.
 
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I got a letter one time from a little girl who had grown into a fine, young adult. I had decided her custody in an ugly divorce case some years earlier, and her letter explained how happy she was, that I had made the right decision and how important that had been in her life. That was the only letter I ever received like that, and I can't even begin to tell you how much that meant to me. I am quite sure that if you tell Don the same things you told us, how much the things he did meant to you and your family, and how grateful you are, that he will have the best day he's probably had in a long time. Don't let him pass without telling him what he meant to you. You will regret it if you do.
 
I think that the greatest.....

....the greatest influence you can leave on the earth is how you can influence other people. Not how much money you make or otherwise 'successful'. Those people are the ones that will remember you after you are gone. Not only remember, but the influence will be a part of them, ingrained in them. You sound full of gratitude to someone who deserves a LOT of gratitude. Talk about the fishing, hunting and all the good things you did together. And you might want to mention how he made all that possible.

PS: My son is adopted, so he has none of my genes. In fact we are VERY different. Now that he's grown up though I can see where I made some differences that he hasn't forgotten. If I die tomorrow, that will make me happy.

Oh, and prayers for everybody. With the grief comes the celebration of a life well spent.
 
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The 'small' talk.....

arjay said:
Just start with small talk and it'll go from there
Click to expand...

The 'small' talk ain't so small. It's all of those little things that mean so much to you and your family. Maybe he didn't give a million dollars to a worthy charity, but what he did for your family is priceless.

I gotta say that all of the comments I've read here overwhelmingly give comfort and I'm not even the one receiving it.:)
 
Thank You. All of you.

You have helped a lot. I have been worried about talking about his condition. Thanks for pointing out that it's not about his condition. It's about the difference he made in my life and all the good times we have had.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot.

Randy
 
Randy, you just have been given an amazing opportunity to truly tell Don how you feel and how he made an impression on your life.

My father had a massive stroke earlier this month and passed on the 18th at a much to young age of 69. He was unresponsive at the time, but I too was afforded the opportunity to have a one on one last conversation with him, albeit one sided. It was hard! I started with a bit of small talk, went into what he meant to me, reminisced on some good times, and ended by catching him up on what had happened since the last time I had seen him a few weeks prior.

My best advice is just start talking; the words will come, the conversation will move in an organic path, it will go though some tough patches, it will go through some good patches, there will be tears, there will be laughter, but most of all, there will be the conversation.

Best wishes, Brian.
 
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woodsltc said:
Tell him what you just told us.....what a difference he made in the lives of you, your mom and brother. Let him know how much he and what he did for all you meant to you and your family and just let the conversation go from there.

BTW....Prayers sent for your friend!


Don
Click to expand...
This ^^^.
I've lost more family members and close friends than I care to think about. If there's any way you can go see him in the next week or two, I strongly suggest it. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see you in person and I promise you'll never regret it.
 
Thank him and go see him if possible. The only legacy most of us leave is those lives we have degraded or enriched. Is it a good legacy or a bad one? Knowing that the people whose lives one has made better are truly thankful will make the best possible going away present. Remember all the good times you had together, before and after he's gone. In the end, things don't matter, people do.
May God bless you all.
 
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woodsltc said:
Tell him what you just told us.....what a difference he made in the lives of you, your mom and brother. Let him know how much he and what he did for all you meant to you and your family and just let the conversation go from there.

BTW....Prayers sent for your friend!


Don
Click to expand...

^^^ This!

"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." - Albert Pine

You have a wonderful opportunity to tell a very good man, how much of an influence he was/is on you.

Consider that a wonderful gift, for him and for you.
 
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