THANKSGIVING DINNER RANT

[bigwheelzip]

Mary—My son and I are the same way. I have my system down in cooking and clean up. What aggravates me is if anyone tries to bring dishes, "helps" or gets in the way, especially in the kitchen.

Oh, it's okay if someone feels strongly about helping, we'll graciously make allowances. Cousin Nick's wife Terri likes to help clear the table, and Cousin Suzanne wants to hang out and help me in the kitchen, so I let her plate the antipasto out of the way, at the high countertop.
Having only one or two other couples is practically a vacation. Before we retired to SC, we lived on the same block as my sister and hosted her family for the holidays also, typically 40 people, with a visit from Santa and his Elves afterward. I really miss putting that on. Now our eldest and her husband host both families, and don't let us lift a finger.

Preparing our "Adults" table.

Mangia!!

My Sis and Mom were allowed to be co-cooks for the holidays.

The daughters job was to help Santa.

 

[URIT]

Why didn't someone hand her a dish towel and say, "You get to wipe this year"?

 

[ladder13]

Come on man

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Since she is not really "family" she is probably not well acquainted with your way of doing things. It's like being a guest star in a TV program where the cast is used to working with each other and has "chemistry".

 

[hoosierone]

Just wife and me and still a lot of work for us old folks. Pre covid the females would help in the kitchen while the males vegetated.

 

[hittman77]

we only see each other a few times per year. .

Maybe try and cut back on that a bit.

 

[ggibson511960]

All families are dysfunctional, just in different ways. Try to imagine life without them. Nobody comes in a close second to family.

 

[Grayfox]

That seems to be a thing about holidays and the required family dinners and get togethers. No matter how it goes, at least one person gets pissed. Its like an annually planned problem just waiting to happen.
Due to covid and other concerns, this year I spent Thanksgiving alone. And it looks like Christmas may be the same. I found it to be quite peaceful.

 

[Doug627]

Could it be that your brother told her to sit and relax while he helped with the chores? Before I got butt hurt over it I would just let it go. Perhaps she has had some health issues lately. Things like arthritis or musculoskeletal issues can be limiting. Just a thought.

 

[LVSteve]

Y'all keep mentioning guests' . We are talking about lazy damn family here

Damn straight. I had a sister in law who always had urgent and extended business in the bathroom when the dishes needed doing. I didn't mind too much because I didn't want other peoples ideas of doing dishes and packing the dishwasher getting in the way of the proper (i.e. my) way of doing dishes.

(As I cannot cook worth a damn, I've been chief dishboy and tea maker since adolescence)

 

[lrb1200]

Well, I discovered decades ago.

Hosting gatherings with "friends" is guaranteed
to be a more successful pleasurable event for all
than hosting a gathering with "family".

 

[LVSteve]

I've also seen this the other way where "helpers" are anything but. First wife had an aunt who liked to clear away your plate before you'd finished chewing what might be your last mouthful. I mean, at Thanksgiving and Christmas shouldn't we all take our time, empty a plate, sit and chat then maybe get some more? Nope, didn't work for this woman. She had a major phobia, sorry PHOBIA , about dirty dishes at the table. Consequently, holiday meals felt like the bum's rush at Applebee's. The night following those meals I dreamt of having my hands around her scrawny neck and shaking it really hard.

 

[Golddollar]

Due to covid and other concerns, this year I spent Thanksgiving alone. And it looks like Christmas may be the same.

I looks like you and I were in the same boat. It was definitely an education preparing a semblance of a Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. Like I told my brother tonight, doing it once will make preparing a Christmas dinner for myself a lot easier.

In normal years, in my nearby extended family part of the fun was bringing the side dishes. One cousin always brought the green beans cooked in mushroom soup. Another cousin brought pears in lime jello. I brought either my mother's baked beans or my stuffed mushrooms. One of the best things that happened was after my mother died I got the recipe for her baked beans. I made a pot of them for a family gathering that my dad was at. I practically jumped for joy when he pronounced them to be just like what my mother used to make.

I've been making my stuffed mushrooms for years now for various get togethers. They are something that has a little zing to them that just about everyone can eat.

Reading this thread just inspired me to load the dishwasher.

 

[Model 19 6"]

I think most families have one that thinks, as a guest they are not there to clean up.

 

[sigp220.45]

She probably thought she was a guest, silly girl.

More likely she has figured out you don't like her. I'm just a random guy on the internet and I can tell you don't like her. She came along to keep the peace with your brother, did what was minimally required, and crossed that off the list for another few months.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

IMHO, expecting a "guest" to help with the clean up...? A patron isn't expected to help clean up at a restaurant. It's not like say a church event where everyone is expected to bring something and help with the clean up. I have a social circle, when we get together it's the same. And many people do not understand the fine art of "hosting". As an example, when guests are invited the conversation should avoid family talk.
Bringing things , side dishes ? I was invited to a Christmas dinner, I brought 3 large tins of what I call "Diet Smasher" cookies-oatmeal-raisin-chocolate chip-walnut. I went to get one-there weren't even crumbs left.
Helping ? I saved one Thanksgiving dinner, there was a grease fire, it was the Boy Scout who knew how to deal with it.

 

[BRL40]

...The night following those meals I dreamt of having my hands around her scrawny neck and shaking it really hard.[/SIZE][/SIZE]

Good to know that despite all this virus stuff, the American holiday spirit is alive and well.

Happy Holiday's Everyone!

...I think I'll spend Christmas alone too.

 

[WuzzFuzz]

Hmmm...Seems to me, there has already been a movie made about Thanksgiving or Christmas get togethers with family, it was called....

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.!!!!


WuzzFuzz

 

[Muddyboot]

If I find myself a guest at such an occasion, I always ask the host how can I help. This gives them control over the situation and smooths the path forward.

 

[glenwolde]

Wine is for cleaners!