Cage's Joke O D day

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Boudreaux was hopping mad-seems like he saw his girlfriend out having dinner with another man. He was complaining to Thib when Thib asked why he didn't go up to her and ask what the hell she was doing.
Boudreaux remarked glumly that he couldn't cause he was with his wife.

 

[BAM-BAM]

Cajun..... world

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

bad news

I have been diagnosed with Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia and the doctors have said it is incureable Tough news especially around the holiday season.

 

[Inusuit]

Warm eggnog is particularly nasty. Better to suffer.

 

[max503]

A grasshopper walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey. We have a drink named after you".



The grasshopper said, "You have a drink named Stanley?"

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

Wealthy man and wife are at restaurant having dinner. They see old family friend come in with a much younger woman.

She asks her husband. "Who is Harry with?"

Husband answers, "If you must know that is Harry's mistress".

A few minutes later, a equally young woman comes in and smiles at the husband and goes to the bar.

"Who was that?" the wife asks.

The husband says "If you must know that is my mistress."

The wife turns beet red and spits out "I want a divorce".

"Very well, the husband calmly replies, "if you want to give up cruises every other month, annual trips to Europe and weekly shopping trips, go ahead."

The wife thinks for a minute, calms, and says, "Ours is cuter".

 

[Mule Packer]

I have been diagnosed with Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia.

Betcha can't say that five times real fast.

 

[Llance]

I have been diagnosed with Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia and the doctors have said it is incureable.

Go home, take two aspirin, call your mistress and tell her never again. Then call your wife and tell her the same thing. The one that dumps you is the one that loved you. Hell of a way to find out.

 

[nate-dogg]

These jokes remind me of the time I shot my first Turkey.

Scared the heck out of everyone in the frozen food section!

 

[ACORN]

A priest a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Hey, is this some kind of a joke? "

 

[Rustyt1953]

"My dog has no nose!"

"How does he smell?"

"Terrible!"

~Ernest Scribbler

 

[ACORN]

A three legged dog walks into a bar.
What do you want, asks the bartender?
Dog answers, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

 

[Golddollar]

Deputy Devereaux was doing a shift on traffic duty. A primer red pickup truck with a burnt out taillight went by the deputy. When Deputy Devereaux pulled the truck over, he asked the redneck driver for his ID. So the redneck showed the deputy his belt buckle.

Later on Deputy Devereaux pulled over a redneck for speeding. Deputy Devereaux asked, "Got and ID?" and the redneck replied, "About what"?

Finally it was getting near the end of Deputy Devereaux's shift. A car slightly exceeding the speed limit went by the hidden Deputy Devereaux and the deputy pulled out on the road to flag down the speeder. Suddenly the car Deputy Devereaux was following started speeding up. Deputy Devereaux hit the accelerator and after about a mile finally got the car he was following to pull over.

After running the wants and warrants on the speeding car, Deputy Devereaux walked up to the vehicle and the driver rolled down the windown. After the usual request for and production of license, registration and proof of insurance a little more involved discussion started:

Deputy: "Sir, I eventually clocked you doing 30 miles over the posted speed limit. But nobody ended up in danger, it's almost the end of my shift and I really don't want to spend the time doing the paperwork. If you can give me a reason for speeding up like you did that I haven't heard before, I'll let you go."

Driver: "Well, Deputy, last week my wife ran off with another deputy sheriff. When you started chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back."

Deputy: "Get out of here."

 

[tops]

Betcha can't say that five times real fast.

I can't even say it one time real slow. Larry

 

[RCL-09]

A priest a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Hey, why are you here with them? "

the rabbit replies "spellcheck".

 

[Golddollar]

I can't even say it one time real slow. Larry

I can't even figure out what it is.

 

[Golddollar]

A kangaroo hops into a bar and orders a Crown Royal straight up. The bartender pours one, puts it in front of the kangaroo and says, "That'll be $7.50 please."

The kangaroo starts sipping his drink and the bartender says, "Hey, we don't get too many kangaroos in here."

The kangaroo replied, "At these prices you won't get too many more."

 

[ACORN]

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Don't start anything!"

 

[ACORN]

A big Texan is in a pub in Ireland.
He loudly proclaims "I'll give $10,000 to anyone here that can drink 30 pints of Guiness is 30 minutes, and he splays the money on the bar.
A little Irishman gets up from his seat and quietly walks out the door.
A little bit past a half hour later he returns.
"Hey Yank! Does your offer still stand?"
The Texan nods his head "Yeah!"
The little Irishman then proceeds to drink 30 pints in 30 minutes.
The Texan hands him the money, and says "Where did you go when I first made the offer?"
The Irishman replied "I wen't to the pub across the street to make sure I could do it first."

 

[Harrison]

You are a great guy Cage; however, you will never make it as a comedian.