Pre-planning your funeral arrangements.

[handejector]

Plan "C".

Actually, there is a fourth option-

"Sky burial" as done in Tibet and other parts of Asia. Basically, ya get left on a mountain for the scavengers to handle. I kinda like the idea, but it sure will be embarassin if the buzzards and even the possums won't eat me.
If I go that way and you come, ya might want to bring an umbrella. Don't look up!

 

[Rustyt1953]

Actually, there is a fourth option-

"Sky burial" as done in Tibet and other parts of Asia. Basically, ya get left on a mountain for the scavengers to handle. I kinda like the idea, but it sure will be embarassin if the buzzards and even the possums won't eat me.
If I go that way and you come, ya might want to bring an umbrella. Don't look up!

Carter and Edward's Tibetan final resting place in Bucket List.

 

[Rustyt1953]

Option "E".

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUBflOTXKsU[/ame]

 

[walkin jack]

Ruthie knows that for my wake she is to rent a hall with an open bar and dump a pile of kazoos on each table.

After that I will be in a box on the mantel.

I'll keep an eye out for the invitation. That is one party I don't want to miss!

 

[walkin jack]

We signed up with Neptune several years ago. Just under $4K for the both of us. It includes recovery anywhere in the world. Of course if you go down on a cruise ship, or get eaten by a pack of Tasmanian Devils that will be extra. But seriously if your body is recoverable you're covered.

Also, up to 7 days of refrigerated storage if necessary, cremation, and delivery of the ashes to the per-determined location.

THey also guarantee that the prices will never go up. We'll just see about all that.

Not bad. I cost $17K to bury my dad in 2009.

PS Rusty, you're on a roll today!

 

[625-7]

Not bad. I cost $17K to bury my dad in 2009.



Holy smokes, I come from a long line of skinflints. I can't afford to die. Guess I'm stuck here forever

 

[boykinlp]

Is a place like "Legal Zoom" worth looking into for a will? Or is going through a lawyer a must?
Larry

 

[glenwolde]

Having your arrangements made and your wishes recorded for everyone to know is good planning. Unfortunately, depending on the estate and probate laws in your state, none of that may have any legal effect unless you have a valid will designating an executor/personal representative to act in your behalf in settling your estate.

Four years ago we spent nearly a year dealing with the death of a cousin 2000 miles away from us. Single man, no children, only two known living relatives. Owned a home with mortgage, owned a car with debt, had all of his bills on auto-pay from his bank account. What he did not have was a will.

About a year later, and $15,000-plus in legal fees, court costs, admin expenses, etc, we were finally able to settle his estate. Six months to get the court to allow us to act as executor, during which we ended up having to pay all the bills with our money, no way to access his accounts at all. Doing all of this from 6 states away was very stressful and time consuming, to say the least.

Last will and testament, durable medical power of attorney, living will, directions on disposition of the remains, any designated gifts or bequests. Updated co-owners or POD on all bank accounts. Beneficiary designations on all insurance policies, investment, and retirement accounts. These are the minimums needed to save your family and friends from having to deal with a huge mess.

After travelling 2000 miles to get there I was first faced with a hospital morgue demanding that I get the body out of their facility. $5000 retainer to a lawyer to start the process. Seemingly to add insult to loss, the court immediately demanded that we post a $250,000 surety bond, then dragged out the decision for nearly 6 months before we could do much of anything. Disposition of the remains is a really tough decision to make. Several years earlier cousin refinanced his home, but the prior mortgagee failed to clear the title in public records, then went out of business (what a mess!), so the house couldn't be sold until all that was cleared up.

A few hundred bucks to your attorney can smooth out everything for those you leave to deal with your passing. If you don't have a will get it done now. If your will is more than a few years old it is time to review and update it to your present satisfaction. Copies of everything to those you are counting on to take care of your estate.

Did you recover enough to break-even? I started down a similar path once and figured out I was going to end up upside-down. I walked away from it. To this day I do not know the resolution, and I don't want to.

 

[Just another 22 shooter]

Is a place like "Legal Zoom" worth looking into for a will? Or is going through a lawyer a must?
Larry

Wife and I did Legal Zoom for our wills. Easy peasy. They have a hot line with very understanding people that answered all our questions.

 

[Sarge9]

The wife and I must redo our will as our only daughter passed.
Now with covid who knows what may happen and no close relatives.
Big decisions to be made, don't want state to take what little we do have.
Please do it guys/gals, was a mess for my wife, when her uncle died.
We believe will was stolen. Our lawyer gave wife the best advice walk
away. She paid for cremation but still got sued for his remaining ashes, the judge said in 45 years he never heard of that one. If you do a will make sure more than 2 know about it or have it on file with county.
Her uncle was a life long bachelor and his lawyer had died or retired
years prior. To top it off the uncle had told every family member this
will all be yours. LOL

Prepaid for cremations at very start of covid,

 

[mckenney99]

Every time I have updated my will, my Attorney has filed the new will with the county Recorder's office. My understanding is, if someone passes away in this county, then the Probate Court or the appointed Executor makes a contact with the county Recorder's office as a first step.

 

[9mmPatriot]

I've always said cremation and be done with it, I've taken up enough space while alive.

Then I heard about human composting.....hmmmmmm.
No waste of natural gas and what's left can be tilled under. I actually like this idea.


Human Composting as a New Death Care Alternative: A Guide to NOR - US Funerals Online

 

[LoboGunLeather]

Did you recover enough to break-even? I started down a similar path once and figured out I was going to end up upside-down. I walked away from it. To this day I do not know the resolution, and I don't want to.

Actually, going through cousin's papers I found reference to another two first cousins on his father's side of the family that we knew nothing about. Ran them down in Texas and got everyone on the same page, allowing one attorney to handle the probate action. After everything was paid for and all costs recovered the residual estate provided each of the 4 first cousins with ~$17K.

So the answer to your question is yes, we more than broke even. But that still required about a year of stress and strain as well as a pile of cash shoveled into the estate to make it happen.

If we had walked away the Florida court would probably have appointed a local lawyer to handle the estate, and every dime would have been eaten up in fees and expenses before the estate was closed.

I will stand by my first post, which advised getting everything organized and documented so that your family and loved ones don't have to struggle with every detail.

Disposition of the remains: old single guy who lived for his annual golfing vacation with life-long friends and co-workers. Had him cremated, sent the remains to his good friends, he now rests on the fairway of his favorite golf course. I hope he finds that acceptable, but he left us with that tough decision to make for him. Donated his (really excellent) golf clubs to the youth program at his local course where he was very well known, another decision made without benefit of his wishes.

 

[Grayfox]

Something like 20 years ago I got a call from a lawyer. A distant Uncle who I had only met once or twice in my life had passed away. They found a will he had written back in the 1950s that left everything to his wife. Problem was that she had died in the 1960s. They never had kids and the will was never changed. So the lawyer was appointed by the court to round up what relatives he could find for final disposition. Because my parents and another family member had already passed, I was due 3/8ths of the estate. He never had much. A piece of property, a trailer house, a car and very little in the bank. My share wouldn't have been much. In the end the search for relatives, court and legal fees ate it all up. None of the heirs ever got a cent.

 

[Golddollar]

My will looks like "War and Peace". I have a lot of relatives and friends, plus a few organizations I want to help out. The initial Last Will and Testament took a lonnnnng time to put down on paper, but it was worth the effort to make sure everyone got appropriate bequests. Word processing now makes changing things a lot easier.

When I moved to Frederick, MD back in 1985, one of the local accounting firms was passing out a paperbound book called the Personal Estate Answer Book. This is a fabulous, well thought out guide to help your family and executor find what they need to know and what they need to find. When I finally sat down and filled it out, I was just amazed at all the little details this accounting firm thought of that might get lost in the shuffle during a difficult time. I got three copies of this book so that when I make too many changes in one book I can photocopy blank pages from another book and stick the blank pages in the copy I originally filled out.

This guide from the accounting firm gets into such detail as to what music you wanted played at your service. So as an Elvis Presley fan, I have instructed that as they are wheeling me out I want to have played "Return to Sender".

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

To those who want their ashes shot out of a cannon, spread upon the waters or just dumped in their facorite spot I ask that you consider yout families. My Dad and I did not get along (I'll not go into that story) and when he died his instructions were to place his ashes in the Mississippi Sound. I was very much against it but I kept my mough shot and went along with it (really had no choice as his wife did what he had asked) The next year I had a headstone made for him and placed it on an unused grave site (that will never be used) next to his brother and his parents. That way I at least have a place to go to think about them.
As far as me, I will be cremated and returned to my family. They will have a visitation at the church followed by a mass after which I will be buried in my wife's family tomb in Lafayette #1 the first cemetary in New Orleans.

 

[NYlakesider]

To those who want their ashes shot out of a cannon, spread upon the waters or just dumped in their facorite spot I ask that you consider yout families. My Dad and I did not get along (I'll not go into that story) and when he died his instructions were to place his ashes in the Mississippi Sound. I was very much against it but I kept my mough shot and went along with it (really had no choice as his wife did what he had asked) The next year I had a headstone made for him and placed it on an unused grave site (that will never be used) next to his brother and his parents. That way I at least have a place to go to think about them.
As far as me, I will be cremated and returned to my family. They will have a visitation at the church followed by a mass after which I will be buried in my wife's family tomb in Lafayette #1 the first cemetary in New Orleans.

In many areas the closest next of kin owns the body. In this case a wife.

There is a small general purpose airport close by, I know of a few cases where the deceased had a last ride and was sprinkled out over a Adirondack mountain.
Also a couple of fisherman had their ashes poured into the waters of the big lake I live by.

 

[arjay]

I pulled off of the side of the road above Lyons several years ago with my son to throw a few flies. While I was putting on my waders he called me over to look at something. There was a small memorial card tied to a pine and a heap of damp ashes on the ground below it….
I hope my family likes me more than that..

 

[walkin jack]

We signed up with Neptune several years ago. Just under $4K for the both of us. It includes recovery anywhere in the world. Of course if you go down on a cruise ship, or get eaten by a pack of Tasmanian Devils that will be extra. But seriously if your body is recoverable you're covered.

Also, up to 7 days of refrigerated storage if necessary, cremation, and delivery of the ashes to the per-determined location.

THey also guarantee that the prices will never go up. We'll just see about all that.

Not bad. I cost $17K to bury my dad in 2009.

PS Rusty, you're on a roll today!

We have a family cemetery (ashes only) here on the 30 acre compound where we all live. Our ashes will be added to those that have gone before when out time comes. I take comfort in knowing that.

You can see the small stone bench of the left side of the pic, at the back edge of the trees. This is our family cemetery.

 

[gamboolman]

mckenney99,

Sorry for the loss of your brother - even estranged.

Good on you for taking care of the business ahead of time.

About 7 or eight year ago, ms gamboolgal and I bought plots out in a Country Cemetery in deep East Texas, where we grew up and lived early on in our marriage. We also went on ahead and bought our Headstone and had it sat in place, and we prepaid for both of our Funerals. We wanted to ensure that our kids had no expenses or tasks to address when the time(s) comes.

I will say I was surprised at the cost of it all. For both of prepaid Funeral Plans and the Headstone and the Plot(s) - it was near to $35K and this was about 4 years ago.

But - I was working oversea's and we could afford it. Money well spent - at least for us.

Regarding Wills, Trusts and Estate, ms gamboolgal and I saw very early on in our marriage just how ugly and nasty the kids, grandkids, Inlaws & Outlaws can get when a loved one passes away, especially if significant estate is involved.

We have always had a Will that was prepared by a Attorney and have reviewed and revised as our family and our Assets grew over the last 40 year.

Prior to retiring 1-Feb-21, last year, we established a Revocable Trust, revised Wills, Medical Directives, POA's, etc., every legal instrument necessary to ensure a smooth disposition of our Assets when the time comes.

Again, not cheap but we have made every effort to have all of our affairs in order to make it as easy as possible on the surviving spouse and our daughter. Some more monies well spent.

Unfortunately, as it turned out - our 34 year old son, Jeffrey, passed away totally unexpectedly at our home in Texas while we were oversea's working on 27-Oct-19.

What a nightmare - getting the call in Eket, Nigeria one night and having to get home and bury him and then get back to work.

Autopsy revealed he had bad Heart disease and we did not know it.

He was unmarried and had no children.
We buried him under where his mother will go.
I would not wish for any parent to ever have to bury one of their children - it is not right nor natural.

I shared about our son, Jeff - because having our Plots bought and Headstone already sat ahead of time - made it so much easier for us when we had to deal with the unexpected passing of our son.

We knew the Funeral Home folks as we used the Funeral Home where we had already bought and paid for our services ahead of time. So it was just a phone call.

We just added another separate Headstone for him. Being a Country Cemetery - there was no issue with us burying him underneath his mothers plot.

Everyone has to decide what is right for them regarding end of life arrangements. There's no right/wrong decision. There's just what's right for you and yours.

gamboolman....

Lifes A Dance And You Learn As You Go...