Did you fire the same ammo through it too? To add to what you mentioned, different 40s&w ammunition will have different recoil impulse, velocities, and muzzle energies. A lot of people try one or two particular 40s&w offerings out of one or two typically lightweight pistols, and then will come to a general conclusion about ALL 40s&w loads out of ALL 40s&w pistols. 40s&w ammo and pistols are NOT monolithic. Just like a Springfield Hellcat might be snappy and a M&P Shield or P365 might be softer shooting with the same 9mm ammo, the same is true with different 40s&w platforms. Another example is that my hand would start to hurt when shooting my friend's XDS 45, but I can shoot my Shield 45 without a problem.
Popular Federal 9mm JHP ammo:
Popular Winchester 40s&w JHP ammo:
As we see here, one of the most popular 9mm rounds used for self-defense has more velocity AND more muzzle energy than some popular 40s&w offerings. Add to this that most 40s&w pistols designed for 40s&w are slightly healthier than their 9mm equivalents, so that should future reduce felt recoil. Even still, everyone would claim that the 40s&w was soooo much much snappy and harder to get follow up shots. This why I say a lot of the perception about 40s&w is rooted in what gun owners have been told to believe rather than reality.
The another reason why 40s&w is objectively better than 9mm and should be more popular and less hated is that it 40s&w platforms can often be 3 firearms in one which is something 9mm and 45acp can not do. Often with just the change of the barrel and maybe the magazine, you can shoot 9mm or 357 sig out of a 40s&w platform.