Pet peeve: screaming kids in restaurants

I think it should be againt the law to take KIDS into a grocery store

Interestingly, in Europe you can take your dog into restaurants and public places because they actually teach their dogs manners.

In the US, dirty, bad-behaving dogs have gotten them all banned from public places.

It'll be like that with kids soon if people don't start civilizing their offspring.

I don't smoke but always sit in the smoking areas. These parents don't want to subject their little darlings being subjected to smoke. It might impair their lungs. I would rather put up with the smoke.

Only really had trouble with my kids once in a restaurant when they were young. My son was about 2 1/2 at the time and thought he could get away with raising a ruckus. He got warned-twice--and then I just turned him over then and there and spanked him. When I got done I plopped him back in the high chair and he stayed quiet. The other customers were quite pleased with the performance.

That same son now has a 10 month old boy whose manners are pretty darned good even at that age. Don't tell me they can't behave if the parents want them to.

It isn't legal in the United States to discriminate against people with children when it comes to things like housing, hotels, or running an eatery. While some may have fond memories of the good old days when children were beaten into being quiet and the colored folks had to pick up their food out back (or weren't allowed in at all), and a few old timers may even fondly remember stories of the days when the bars had signs that said "no dogs and no Irish"... Those days are gone.

I have a two and a half year old. He's mostly a good kid. Every now and again he gets irate and screams when he's hungry or when something upsets him. He's autistic, so things that wouldn't upset normal people will set him off such as sounds. In ye olden days, they'd have simply chained him up in an institution to make tires or kept him locked up in the attic I suppose. Fortunately those days are past. Funny thing, hitting kids with autism just makes things worse, and screaming at them isn't exactly helpful either. So no, I'm not going to hit him to placate someone. Nor would I let anyone else, since he'll calm down on his own in short order. Nor would I allow him to be ostracized or treated like a dog being told he can't come into a restaraunt or some such.

So no, you can't have a place to eat that doesn't allow kids, or Blacks, or Jews, or whoever else you don't happen to like, find annoying, or don't agree with the manners of. That's just how it is, and mostly we're all better off for it being that way.

If someone is a self described old curmudgeon, they should actually be glad for these protections. It keeps places from keeping out the elderly too - after all beyond a certain age folks are more likely to fall, raising insurance costs for their injuries. From a business standpoint, it'd make more sense to ban anyone over 65 for example. Their best years are behind them anyway. Now if you get in a five year old, and get them hooked on your place, that's great, since you've got a customer for a lot longer. Funny how some things like that would work out if you think about it.

GatorFarmer,
Thanks for that perspective

First off, I do not tolerate bad behavior nor do I let my kids do what they want, but I will not beat them for it there is other more constructive ways to go about it. I'm not saying I've never issued a time out or spanking but I've seen and I can tell from some of the postings above that some people over do it. Has anybody ever noticed a violence problem in this country and considered that it can stem from bottled up anger in people that come from homes/parents that train/beat/abuse their children like animals.

That said, My 4 year old is great when going out it's my 2 year old daughter that can be loud at times but she is TWO years OLD (a child) we try going to public/family places and avoid the country club/ fancy restaurants until they get older. In my line of work I get to work in places before they open and stay working well into the day you would be surprised how much noise is in places these days, and some people record this and call it the new ambiance/art. Now what gets to me and others around me (besides the un-ruled child)is when you get older people with hearing aids that beep and do they need to yell at each other to have a conversation or for that matter argue in public? AND it gets worse if you see one of them with a cell phone that they YELL into. I grew up around cigarette smoke it the shower they take of LIZ Taylor or Stetson OR "designer imposter" Perfume/Cologne that lingers when you're eating even the change in your wallet smells like it every now and then. I've seen old people were dippers in public (under their cloths) so all in all there are some old people worse than children out there (believe it or not).

A public place is a place shared by others that is one of the reasons air planes have first class if you're on a fixed income you probably won't be eating at the place that has ~$35. plates but neither will a family with kids. Please enjoy what you have left of your lives as the ones that are just starting there's can learn from us wise ones. Another example is a movie theater if you go from an action movie to a kids/FAMILY movie you will notice a major difference in noise and lighting, but then again it's a public place.

--AND yes people today (young & old) do not have the common sense that most people had in the past let's just hope they know what to do when there Toyota's fail and the "GOV" tries to take over.

---JMHO

Let me be honest here...I don't like kids at all so I just ignore them,they don't bug me when I'm eating so that's not an issue,just don't sit me next to them is all.

I have to deal with one locally,he's a little terror,but the owners want him there as it's his grandson,he's going to pre-school this year and it'll be a blessing.

I know I'm a freak but I do not like the little rug monkeys and have el zip for feelings to them,if I had my way when they misbehave I'd just use handcuffs and ductape

BarbC said:

Our parents' generation used to spank each other's kids if they saw them acting up and the responsible adult wasn't around. Sort of a public service.

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Barb,
Did our parents know each other? If you misbehaved at school, you'd get it from the teacher then and there, and again when you got home. If it happened at someone else's house, their parents would let you have it and you'd get it again when you got home. Did we think ourselves "abused"? Hell no. We knew why we got it, and that we deserved it. Did we hate our parents? Of course not. We didn't become serial killers or child molesters. We turned out just fine, thank you very much. In my opinion, it's the progressive, permissive society that has resulted in such terrible behavior in children. Kids killing kids. "Don't punish little Johnny for chopping up little Suzie with a hatchet. He's only expressing himself. Society has failed him. He's a victim of society." BS!! Little Suzie is the victim. She's dead. Whatever happened to individual responsibility? -Ed.

GatorFarmer said:

So no, you can't have a place to eat that doesn't allow kids, or Blacks, or Jews, or whoever else you don't happen to like, find annoying, or don't agree with the manners of. That's just how it is, and mostly we're all better off for it being that way.

If someone is a self described old curmudgeon, they should actually be glad for these protections. It keeps places from keeping out the elderly too - after all beyond a certain age folks are more likely to fall, raising insurance costs for their injuries. From a business standpoint, it'd make more sense to ban anyone over 65 for example. Their best years are behind them anyway. Now if you get in a five year old, and get them hooked on your place, that's great, since you've got a customer for a lot longer. Funny how some things like that would work out if you think about it.

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I AM a"self described old curmudgeon." Just to make things clear, I have not advocated beating children, not allowing kids in restaurants or barring blacks, the elderly, Jews, Irish or anyone else, for that matter. At the risk of being compared with any President living or dead, let me be clear and make no mistake: I am upset with parents who cannot or will not control their screaming children when they interrupt other patrons' quiet enjoyment of their meal. Children are people, not dogs. Therefore they deserve to be treated with civility, and taught to act in a like manner.

"Your rights end when they intrude on mine." Your right to have your child in a restaurant should end when you intrude on my right to peace and quiet while trying to eat a meal. I took my children outside and calmed them down if they acted up. I am sure you believe in the Golden Rule, as do I.

Gator Farmer, I understand that autistic children have special needs. Those needs can be addressed without intruding on the good of the public at large. I have an autistic grandson, and his parents do a magnificent job of seeing to it that he acts properly in restaurants. The two needs, that of the public for a peaceful meal, and that of the child for understanding and firm correction, are not incompatible.

'Nuff said. You and I should go have a beer together.

Not sure where ya'll are dining out where the children are running amok. I frequent the typical low rent places like Outback, Chilis, LongHorn, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Lone Star, Sticky Fingers... and can't remember any bothersome rugrats. Stay out of Chuck E Cheese and McDonald's playgrounds if noisy kids bother ya.

srgvaz said:

First off, I do not tolerate bad behavior nor do I let my kids do what they want, but I will not beat them for it there is other more constructive ways to go about it.

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IMO, corporal punishment has it's place as an effective disciplinary tool. Unfortunately, far too often adults beat their children (and pets) to satisfy their anger.

As a Chesapeake, VA policeman stated, "There's a difference between discipline and abuse."

A well-timed and well-deserved pop on the behind between ages say, 2-1/2 and 4, saves a lot of trouble down the road. Sorry to make the comparison, but training a child is like training a puppy.

Of course, the child has to have the understanding too. Parents who face the challenges of children with special needs have a different task but those parents should also have the reciprocal understanding that they also have a duty to the other patrons of the establishment.

So, most of ya'll will be coming to the restaurant I'm going to open as soon as I retire:

Bob's No Smoking No CHildren Under 13 No Cell Phones Burger Barn.

No kidding, I've had that name ready for over 10 years. I figure I'll go broke in 2-3 months. I can shorten it now that North Carolina, to my complete amazement, banned smoking in restaurants starting this year.

ChattanoogaPhil said:

Not sure where ya'll are dining out where the children are running amok. I frequent the typical low rent places like Outback, Chilis, LongHorn, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Lone Star, Sticky Fingers...

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I use a few of those restaurants to keep my kids quiet..."one more peep out of you and we're going to the Olive Garden."

sipowicz said:

I use a few of those restaurants to keep my kids quiet..."one more peep out of you and we're going to the Olive Garden."

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Me too, as soon as they see the roaches they all shut up.

ladder13 said:

Me too, as soon as they see the roaches they all shut up.

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Gulp... I'm gonna check those dark croutons a little closer next time....

ChattanoogaPhil said:

Not sure where ya'll are dining out where the children are running amok. I frequent the typical low rent places like Outback, Chilis, LongHorn, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Lone Star, Sticky Fingers... and can't remember any bothersome rugrats. Stay out of Chuck E Cheese and McDonald's playgrounds if noisy kids bother ya.

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Having been in wholesale food sales to the restaurant business for 10 years I can tell you what those places serve is what is called "leave it on the plate long enough and it will eat itself" food. A microwave delight. Maybe it's the radiation that keeps the rugrats quiet.

rimfired said:

Having been in wholesale food sales to the restaurant business for 10 years I can tell you what those places serve is what is called "leave it on the plate long enough and it will eat itself" food. A microwave delight. Maybe it's the radiation that keeps the rugrats quiet.

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So you're saying I gotta pay $50+/plate to get a serenade from the rugrats?

Odds are that if you were raised poorly, you will raise your offspring poorly. And I well remember the (silent) pain of sitting through church every Sunday. I rather doubt as many people worship that way as did once. In any case, I learned early on that what my parents said STUCK. "Be quiet" was an order, not a request. Violate that order and punishment would result, with no exception. I think too many people now want to be their childrens' friends, not parents. Well, friends are who you misbehave with, parents have the duty to correct that. All of this aside, it would be nice if restaurants would keep any promises they made to keep noisy brats away from those who simply wish a pleasant meal. And, after more than 2 complaints, force them to exit the premises, and perhaps be banned from future visits. One irritating table shouldn't ruin an entire restaurant's evening.