The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes!

PA Reb · Mar 4, 2014

A blonde woman is speeding down a highway in her little red sports car when she notices a cop behind her with flashing lights. Once the motorist stops her car the officer, who is also a blonde female, approaches the stopped vehicle and asks the driver to see her drivers license. The blonde motorist begins to rummage through her purse and glove box for her license and in frustration asks the officer "what does it look like?" The cop tells her "its square and has your picture on it." After several more minutes pass, the blonde motorist finally finds a square mirror in her purse, looks at it and hands it to the cop stating "here it is." The blonde officer looks at the mirror and then hands it back saying "O.K. you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop!"

Ogandydancer · Mar 4, 2014

O-U-C-H!! That's all

fat tom · Mar 4, 2014

I must refrain from adding any of my blonde jokes. Every time I do,I get dinged or the thread gets locked. I think one of the mods must be blonde.

f.t.

handejector · Mar 4, 2014

fat tom said:
I must refrain from adding any of my blonde jokes. Every time I do,I get dinged or the thread gets locked. I think one of the mods must be blonde.
f.t.

Really?
We have blonde members that can READ and UNDERSTAND The Rules and pick up on the standards of good taste we expect here without too much trouble.

Maybe the problem is not with the mods.

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

How about a quickie.
Two blondes walk into a bar.....the brunette ducks.

Rule3 · Mar 4, 2014

Two blondes are driving down from up North to go to Disney world in Florida.
The get on International Drive and a big sign says Disney Left. So they turned around and went back home.

Mrs Rule is Blonde I have permission (sort of)

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

A blond goes shopping and decides to buy herself something nice because it is her birthday.
While in the store she sees a thermos bottle and asks the clerk about it.
"What is that" asks the blond.
The clerk replies "That is a Thermos bottle."
"What is it for" asks the blond.
The clerk tells her "A thermos bottle is used to keep hot things hot and cold things cold."
"Really" says the blond "That is amazing and just the thing I'd like to buy myself for my birthday"
The next day at work the blond is at her desk proudly displaying her new Thermos bottle.
"Nice Thermos" declares a co-worker.
"Yes, thank you." says the blond "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." she ads.
"Yes I know" said the co worker. "What do you have in it?"
"Two cups of coffee and a pop-sickle" Replies the blond.

Smith357 · Mar 4, 2014

What do you call an intelligent blonde???

A Retriever.

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

This ones my favorite.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

A blonde goes by an eletronic store when she notices a TV in the front window. She needed a new TV, it had lots of buttons, looked nice and was selling for $259. So she goes in and asked for the TV in the front window but the salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." So she just stormed out.
She really wanted this TV so overnight, she dyed her hair red. She came in and asked for the TV in the front window. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." came the reply.
By this time she was desperate so she goes home and shaves off her hair. She goes in and asks for the TV in the front window but the salesman just goes, 'We don't sell to blondes.'
'How do you know I'm a blonde. I dyed my hair red, and then I even shaved it off, and you still know I'm a blonde. HOW?" "There's nothing in the front window but microwaves."

P&R Fan · Mar 4, 2014

I've got several good ones, but the Lovely Missus P&R Fan is a blonde.

I don't wanna sleep with my German Shorthair.

Jim

Gunhacker · Mar 4, 2014

I'll play...

Two blondes from Florida are vacationing in New York City. One moon lit night they are at the top of Empire State Building on the observation deck marveling at the Skyline.

One of the blondes is awestruck, and says "look at how big and bright the moon looks, I wonder which is closer... the moon or Miami?"

The other blonde looks back incredulously at the other and says "Well DUH, the moon is closer.... can you see Miami from here?"

shouldazagged · Mar 4, 2014

I once saw a blonde wearing a T-shirt that said, "Natural blonde. Please speak slowly."

Don't tell me they're all dumb!

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

How did the blonde break her leg while raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.

Hillbilly77 · Mar 4, 2014

A blonde was driving down the road, and saw two other blondes out in the middle of a hayfield, rowing a canoe.

Agitated, she came to a screeching halt and jumped out of her car.
She yelled out to the two in the canoe, "Hey you stupid blondes! It's fools like you that give us all a bad name, out there rowing a canoe in a hayfield! You're lucky I don't know how to swim, or I'd come out there and teach you a lesson!"

snubbyfan · Mar 4, 2014

She's so blonde,

She tripped over a cordless phone.
She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate".
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She studied for a blood test.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Comrad · Mar 4, 2014

blondes-dumb-blonde-demotivational-poster-1260081209.jpg

J. R. WEEMS · Mar 4, 2014

P&R Fan said:
I've got several good ones, but the Lovely Missus P&R Fan is a blonde.

I don't wanna sleep with my German Shorthair.
Jim

WHY NOT??????

fat tom · Mar 4, 2014

handejector said:
Really?
Maybe the problem is not with the mods.

You know,you might have a point.

f.t.

the ringo kid · Mar 4, 2014

handejector said:
Really?
We have blonde members that can READ and UNDERSTAND The Rules and pick up on the standards of good taste we expect here without too much trouble.

Maybe the problem is not with the mods.

Is there a way to ding an Admin?

The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes!

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