Visiting An Old Friend You Haven't Seen In 20 Years

A couple of weeks back I overheard a friend speaking to a person that I haven't seen for 15 to 20 years.

He has a small gun shop located next to his home. It's not far just off the beaten path for me. Not enough out of the way that to be any kind of excuse for not stopping by.

We used to see one another and shoot the bull on a semi regular basis. As it too often does, life somehow got in the way. One thing is I fell way back on my gun trading, gunshow attendance, and shooting.

I tried calling him last Saturday, no answer. I call again yesterday around 1 pm, no answer. About 2 hrs later I get a call and it's him.

We talked a bit about how long it had been. I apologized for allowing him to fall off my radar, and he told me to come on by.

I took a detour on my way home from work yesterday. I pulled up to his shop expecting to see my old friend inside, maybe a bit greyer and heavier, but my old friend.

As I opened the door I saw what appeared to be a frail old man wearing a ball cap and puffing on a cigarette sitting next to a rack with a few AR type offerings. I admit I didn't recognize him and almost asked where my friend was! He's now 78 years old without an ounce of fat on him.

I saw that he didn't recognize me either. I walked over said my name and we both smiled as we shook hands. Yea, we shook hands! He asked me "What happened to your hair?" My reply as usual, "it ain't turning grey, it's turning loose."

We spent the next 45 minutes to an hour catching up on stuff. Talking about health, politics, old friends, old guns, and old times. Time has passed. We both look different, be we're still the same folks!

I really enjoyed the visit. It was another reminder that time flies, we ain't meant to last forever.

I made myself a promise to put forth more effort in visiting, at the very least contacting people that I haven't seen in a while.

I'm a just about a month away from 61. My friend was just a few years younger than I am now when I last remember visiting him. As glad as I am to have seen him, I'm ashamed that I allowed too much time to pass between.

I realize the majority of people reading this are likely closer to 78 than 61. You likely knew every word you were reading ahead of time.

To those of you on the younger side, put forth the effort to see old friends. It is worth it!

Well said.
I had a good friend that was much older than I. My firearms “Elmer” so to speak. He taught me a lot about reloading. Another friend and I would go up and visit o Thursday nights I believe, and watch boxing on USA network.
Well the inevitable happened and I met “The” girl and got married. Being a married man I became involved in more responsible things than just hanging out with friends and pushed him to the back burner.
A few years later I gave him a call but the line was disconnected. I tried to track him down but couldn’t.
A few days later my Dad called and said my friend had passed away and saw the obituary in our local paper.
He and his wife and in-laws had moved to Illinois and I guess his family posted the obituary in our local paper being they had friends and an estranged son back here.
Curious thing is I got the urge to find him at around the same time he passed. Almost like he was reaching out to me.
I spoke with his wife on the phone and apologized for my absence while they were still here.
He was a great guy and a good friend.
Sorry I let those years get away from us.

OP that’s a wonderful post.

Last year I re-connected with a close friend from HS that we last saw each other in the early 80’s. She and I (yes a girl and yes just really close friends lol) just drifted apart as our lives went on.
Fast forward to 2020, and after commenting on a friend’s photo (also from HS) while in FB I had a message come thru from my old friend. We then caught up like it was only years and not decades, frankly like we were still in school. And once this virus garbage is better we will get together in person. A good hug and conversation will be great.

I know plenty who dislike or dont use FB, but it has been a great platform for me to keep in touch with family and friends and share our life moments. And after finding my birth father’s family (thanks to Ancestry) after 5 decades it allows me to keep in touch with them as well.

The strangest thing is I have old friends that we find it easier to talk over the highs and lows of our lives these days than we ever would have when younger. So yes, being able to reconnect with friends or family (while one still can) is something that is truly worth it.

For a real shock - wait till you go to a superannuated high school reunion. four years ago, my wife and I attended our 60th year reunion. People came from all over the country to be there.

One very tall guy with a white hair, a beard and horn-rimmed glasses started to talk to me, and recognized me. It wasn't mutual - I had no idea who he was, and I blurted out "Who the hell ARE you?"

When he told me, it blew my socks off. He was a friend and a member of a club I belonged to in high school. I remember him as an entirely different person. We became re-acquainted new-again friends. We have corresponded by e-mail a lot since then.

When you grow old, your features do change, and be prepared to be surprised when you re-meet after many years!

John

I’m guilty of the same thing. Make time for friends.

Most of my High School relationships were not worth continuing, or renewing! Neither my brother (class of 69) or I (class of 74) were invited to our High School reunions for #5 or #10, my invite for #20 arrived 2 weeks after it happened (and was dated 3 days before it arrived). When the invitation for #25 arrived on time, Not one of the people I hung with "Could be Located"! I ran 20 copies and went to where they lived in HS and talked to their folks and passed on the Invite. I found 17 of 25 that easy, it took an hour of my time.

Then the in crowd, moved away. I went to #40 & #45 (my brother missed #50. He lives the same place we did in HS, and nobody has called or visited!)
I talked with the only cheerleader in our class to come. I told of my wife and 4 kids and the then 6 grandkids. She ask why I married a girl from the next town? I said it was like the first decade out of HS, nobody in our town would give me the time of day. So I lived my life very well without them. I lived in a house in the middle of our community and was in the phone book for 32 years, and the only mail from our class I got was asking for a donation!

There are a lot of people not worth staying in touch with!

Ivan

Ivan the Butcher said:

Most of my High School relationships were not worth continuing, or renewing! Neither my brother (class of 69) or I (class of 74) were invited to our High School reunions for #5 or #10, my invite for #20 arrived 2 weeks after it happened (and was dated 3 days before it arrived). When the invitation for #25 arrived on time, Not one of the people I hung with "Could be Located"! I ran 20 copies and went to where they lived in HS and talked to their folks and passed on the Invite. I found 17 of 25 that easy, it took an hour of my time.

Then the in crowd, moved away. I went to #40 & #45 (my brother missed #50. He lives the same place we did in HS, and nobody has called or visited!)
I talked with the only cheerleader in our class to come. I told of my wife and 4 kids and the then 6 grandkids. She ask why I married a girl from the next town? I said it was like the first decade out of HS, nobody in our town would give me the time of day. So I lived my life very well without them. I lived in a house in the middle of our community and was in the phone book for 32 years, and the only mail from our class I got was asking for a donation!

There are a lot of people not worth staying in touch with!

Ivan

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My rather small high school had a 10 year at a banquet hall with two other small schools. Did not go. In 2015 we would have had our 50th. Checked the school sites on the computer, no reunion.

About the only place now I see names that are familiar are in the Death Notices pages. Unfortunately those sightings are getting more common, even before this Covid 19 started upping the ante!

At my 50th HS reunion in 2017 a woman who I had not seen in 50 years -and we were never close-recognized me right away, we had a good conversation.
I last saw my best friend from college in 1981, we lost touch. A few years ago I found he passed away in 2002-only 46.
Conversely I have experienced friendship fade, people suddenly turning on me.
I like the idea of FB, but I like my privacy even more. Big Brother has arrived in the guise of erstwhile privately owned corporations.

Going down to SoCal in a couple of weeks=likely will be seeing my Bro and his best buddy=a high school buddy of mine==been close to 20 years!

I'm kind of old-fashioned, so every year I send out by snail mail actual paper Christmas cards and Hanukkah cards to friends and family so that at least once a year they know I'm up and functioning. Maybe once every 5 years I include the Christmas letter for some extra detail.

I don't live near where I grew up, so it's rare that I run into any people I went to high school with unless I go back to visit. But there is one friend, Peter, who lives about 2 hours away and we've kept in touch with the Christmas cards. He's now the president of a seminary and a published author.

One day I received a telephone call and on the other end a lady identified herself as Peter's secretary. He wanted to come out and see me. I hadn't seen him in around 35 years. So I told his secretary I would be happy to see him.

Peter and I have known each other since we were 8 years old, going back before we started going to school together. He came to my house and we went out to one of the local diners for lunch. I asked him why he decided to look me up. Peter said that of all his old friends, I was the only one he knew was still alive. He then gave me some of his books and in one his inscription referred to me as his "longest, oldest childhood friend." It was like we were boys again.

Apparently I'm younger than most of the members here. I'll be 54 this year.

No 35th reunion due to the covid-19 pandemic.

I organized the 30th. It was a blast.

Funny thing is how your mind's eye sees things.

The people I kept in touch with since 1985 pretty much looked the same to me.

The ones I haven't seen in 30 years was more like, what the heck happened to you?

Facebook, double edged sword right there.

Great for organizing the reunion.

Awful as a data mining site. And has lead to some infidelities among my classmates.

Another reason why this is the only social media platform that I participate on.

I don't think anyone here is going to message me for a date LOL.

Thanks for the post. I reconnected with a cousin this week I hadn't talked with since 1961. We had a very nice conversation and both relived some wonderful memories.

By all means, if you can, don't miss out on your 50th HS reunion.

There will be a lot of students that have passed away but there
should be at least half of the class alive, if they are able to make the party
is another question, since health and money problems might put a damper on things.

I only knew about half of the people by sight and had to look at the name tags to find out who they were.
However the chit-chat and memories was well worth the time and effort put into getting there.\

Even going to my wife's 50th was interesting, even though I did not know anyone, but people in Utah are pretty friendly.

At one of my HS reunions (40th?) a woman came up to me and read my name badge. She got a big smile ... She said " I remember you, we also went to elementary school together". I could see her quickly mulling over that memory, and then her smile changed to a very serious look. She then said "Ohhhh my.....YOU were a BAAADDDD BOY !!" ... I said "Yep, you sure DO remember me"
I enjoy almost every day checking in on FB to see what is going on with my old classmates. There were just over 800 in my senior class. Our 50th reunion was in 2014 and it was a blast. Some of my spare time nowadays is spent trying to connect with some who never came to reunions. I have been able to solve some mysteries about who did what and why back then. You do need to be careful though. When you are sharing memories with a guy classmate about a gal classmate..... you really should know if that is, or was, -- his wife !! --- REALLY !? You married her !?.... Uhhhhhhhh ....OOPS -- My bad !!

800 in your senior class! It was much closer to 80 in mine.

Cdog said:

800 in your senior class! It was much closer to 80 in mine.

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A good friend of mine out here in Colorado grew up in Montana. He went back there for his 50th reunion a few years ago. Seven of the EIGHT in his class were there. He said he went to school from first through twelth grade in the same small building. The first floor was first to eighth grade. Upstairs was ninth through twelth.

I've recently reconnected with a couple of friends from back in high school and just afterwards and I wish I could say it's been great. One guy asked me for money, and the other guy is bombarding me with whackaloon political stuff. The guy who wanted money is gone, disappeared, but the other guy is like glue, and I'm running out of patience to deal with his over the top videos and screenshots that to be honest are just obviously bogus. I guess I'll have to cut and paste a "Facts of Life" message I sent a former neighbor years ago when he kind of went into the same mode where he sent me endless political nonsense claims that were just totally untrue. He reacted negatively, when he got the message, and poof, he was gone. I kind of hope it happens again. I don't understand how he can believe the stuff he does at all, let alone with the fervor he does.

Boy I hear you hemiram !

I moved to Texas from growing up in Indiana. Some 50yr later, one of my small town Indiana classmates shows up in my South Texas driveway, unannounced. We talked for several hours before he left. His FB page is filled with typical Indiana political bile, so I keep a low profile, and do NOT keep in touch.

Indiana wants me, but I can't go back there!

I went to the 25th HS reunion. Nobody I hung with was there. Noticed the hot girls got dumpy, the plain ones got hot. Half the guys were bald. This June is 50 years. I wouldn't go to NJ for it if'n they paid me. I wasn't at all impressed with mid '40's, late '60's will be painful. Joe

My Mother-In-Law has passed several years ago, but she was one to stay in touch with the 17 other of her small town class. On her recommendation, the 40th reunion is the one to go to. Everybody is still reasonably healthy, their kids are grown (so they are free of that kind of stress) and they usually have a pile of grandkids to be proud of.

From then on, your classmates have heart, brain, and bowel issues, that you neither want to see or hear about.

My earlier post was made before I remembered Otis. We were both outcasts in school but weren't united about it. I would be at a lunch time buffet, he would come up behind me, and in his deep gravely voice tell me "We lost another one" and relate which classmate had passed. I would turn to say something and he would have disappeared, so I haven't seen him since graduation day!

6 weeks after our 45th reunion, Otis' heart stopped for the 4th time and stayed stopped. A friend from the community told me 3 days later. With tears in my eyes I said, "I Honestly expected Otis to tell me himself on his way out of town." Of 155 of us 60% are gone mostly to heart problems and cancer. (I think it from one or more food additives!)

On Face Book: My wife's sister looked up a HS boyfriend and they ditched their spouses and moved in together. You open a can and the worm just go everywhere! People wonder why I refer to him as "Contestant Number 3".

Ivan