Sgt. Mike Viet Nam Humor
- Thread starter AJ
- Start date
OP
AJ
US Veteran
Well not everyone is perfect!
But, us veterans sure as heck aren't either! 
If you have comments that correlate to the cartoon, please feel free to post them. Most firemen that I know have seen some strange stuff too.
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Protocall_Design
Member
I enjoy reading them. I hold our military people in the highest regard, but have never been in the service. Having never been through most of these things, I don't feel qualified to like or comment. I have read every one so far.
F4phantom
US Veteran
I got to like traditional sukiyaki . A Sargent in H&MS and his fiance made for me one night. He pronounced it "ski-aki" and I really liked it.
One night another guy and I were out in Iwakuni and were a little drunk. We decided to get something to eat. We went down an alley and found a restaurant. We ordered sukiyaki and it was good.
The next day I went back and found the restaurant. That was a mistake. It was a greasy spoon. It was a wonder we didn't get food poisoning. Oh the fun we had.
Don't stop posting AJ.
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OP
AJ
US Veteran
To both of you Gentlemen, I say "please post"! A Firemen and LEO both have seen some stuff that fits right in with what these cartoons are saying!
AJ Comic
AJ love this comic thread! Saturday night when I checked I did not see any thing new, but tonight there are several. I never miss your thread. I hope we continue to have this thread to read.
TucsonTacodog
US Veteran
This has been around, but it's still funny:
HOW TO SIMULATE LIVING ON A NAVY SHIP:
1. Buy a 40' dumpster and put it in your front yard.
2. Run 300 ft of piping and wires on the inside walls of the dumpster, weld in divider walls for awake time, washing, cooking and sleeping areas.
3. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your doors to your dumpster compartments so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass
through one of them.
4. Install your bunk 6 inches from the ceiling of the dumpster.
5. Pump 10 inches of nasty, oily, ****** water into your dumpster, then pump it out, clean up, and paint it "deck gray."
6. Invite 20 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the doors to your dumpster.
7. Live in your dumpster with those 'friends' for 6 months straight.
8. Shower with above-mentioned friends, but only allow it once/week.
9. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, wave at your friends and friends' families through the door of your dumpster...you can't leave until the next day, you have duty.
10. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
11. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
12. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire friends that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
13. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."
14. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours, and hang a sign On the door that reads "Secured-contact OA division at X-3053."
15. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's OK for you to leave your dumpster before 3pm.
16. Make your friends qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e., Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc).
17. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
18. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."
19. Empty all the garbage bins in your dumpster, and sweep your driveway and dumpster 3 times a day, whether they need it or not. (Now sweepers, start your brooms, clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trashcans over the fantail)
20. Repaint your entire dumpster once a month.
21. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.
22. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.
23. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.
24. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.
25. Avoid watching TV with the exception of movies which are played in the middle of the night. Have your friends vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
26. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.
27. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.
28. Needle gun the side on your dumpster after your neighbors have gone to bed.
29. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel."
30. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.
31. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead bodies of your coworkers.
32. When your friends are in bed, run into the dumpster sleeping section with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your dumpster is under attack, and order them to man their battle stations. ("General quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations")
33. Make your menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking the pantry and refrigerator.
34. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your friends that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an hour, when they finally get to the stove, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't pay attention to the menu any more so they just ask for hot dogs.
35. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.
36. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your friends stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.
37. After yourself and your friends have been in your dumpster for 6 weeks, tell them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to Disneyland for "weekend liberty." When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that they need to get ready for Engineering-certification, and that it will be another week before they can leave the dumpster.
38. In your grim, gray dumpster (refer to #1), with 20 of your not-so-closest friend (cite par. 12) regardless of gender, suffer through PMS!
39. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have one of your friends whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go to sleep. He should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack."
40. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub, move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while you soap down.
41. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, find a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. Have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.
42. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.
43. For ex-engineering types: leave the lawn mower running in the dumpster eight hours a day.
44. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
45. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot onto your neighbors house. Ignore his complaints.
46. Get as many friends members as you can lined up in the driveway in their best clothes. Then execute #45.
47. Every other month buy green or red marine primer and put it in a paint sprayer. Spray it over the roof of your dumpster onto your neighbor's car. Ignore his complaints.
48. Work 12 hours painting. Then, 15 minutes after you collapse into bed, have someone sneak up on the outside of your dumpster and use a pneumatic needle scaler to remove all of the new paint.
49. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car, secure your neighbor's car with a 4 inch hawser.
50. Buy a trash compactor, but use it only once a week. Store the garbage on the other side of your bathtub.
51. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread.
52. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose.
53. Once a month, take every major appliance apart and put them back together again.
54. Install a fluorescent lamp under the coffee table and then get under it and read books.
55. Every so often, throw the cat in the pool and shout "Man overboard, starboard side" Then run into the dumpster and sweep all the pots and dishes off the counter. Yell at the your friends for not having the kitchen "stowed for sea."
56. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don't plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go stand in front of your stove. Say ... to no one in particular "Stove manned and ready" Stand there for three or four hours. And say again to no one in particular "stove secured." Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a box.
57. Loan your neighbor 20 bucks and then promptly tell him he owes you $30. Weather his outrage and wait for him to realize what you already know: he wants the $20, and will pay the $30.
58. Arrange for a friends night out for everyone, then realize it’s your turn at the podium for four hours and then another 20 hours before you can go yourself. Promptly approach 10 of your friends members and offer to pay them to take your place. Uncle Bob the Diehard has seen it all, so he agrees. Don’t be surprised when the $20 he negotiated is really $30 when it comes time to make the switch. Don’t retaliate because you’ll want Uncle Bob to do it again in the future.
59. Have 4 strong friends hold a piece of plywood for you to stand on, which they will lift. Tell them to rhythmically tilt it back and forth until you have mastered the art of standing at a 45 degree angle relative to your standing surface. With basic mastery, have them quicken the cycle until your understanding of gravity changes entirely.
60. Build an impregnable room in the middle of your dumpster, and put an electronic lock on it, but tell the locksmith to ONLY give the code to the squirrel-y members of your friends: Weird But Educated Tony (38) and Strange Nerd Tommy (13). Stare at the door for hours on end, wondering what’s happening in there, and then glare jealously at Tommy as he goes in and out with impunity.
61. Restrain yourself from punching Tommy’s smug face. The Wife wouldn’t like that and Tommy is going to lord it over you anyway.
62. When you serve fried eggs, cook far more than you need, and serve them in a bucket, so that the bottom ones are afloat in a sea of grease.
63. Insist that your friends follow all of these requirements once they move out EXCEPT they are allowed to wear slightly more comfortable clothes. Complain bitterly to your neighbors about how standards have slipped since “your day.”
64. Implement a new rule that all notes, letters, and emails through your friends and families have to end with “Very Respectfully” when going from young to old, and “Respectfully” when coming from old to young. Stress repeatedly that, yes, there is a difference, despite logic telling you otherwise.
65. When you go to bed at night you have to turn all of your lights in the dumpster to red, nothing gets turned off.
66. Have all your friends stuff all of their laundry into net bags. Wash all of the bags at one time, irrespective of their contents, without any detergent. Dry the bags together as well.
67. While manning the stove, turn all burners on HIGH and place a large pot of water on each one. Open the stove door and turn it on Broil. Close all doors and windows in the kitchen. Turn the thermostat in your dumpster as high as it will go. Every 15 minutes, check the water level and temperature in each pot, and write the results down in a logbook.
68. Drag your oldest friend out of bed at 2345 and make him stand in front of the kitchen sink for an hour, then in front of the washing machine for an hour, then in front of the dryer for an hour, then on the back porch for an hour, all in the dark. Send him back to bed and say he can sleep for an extra hour until 0700 if he hangs a hand-written note on his bed that says, “Mighty Mid.” Loudly wake up all his friends who are asleep in the same room at 0600.
69. In advance of your mother-in-law coming over for Easter, replace the flooring and repaint the walls only in the room that she’ll actually be in. Be sure to paint everything, including door knobs and electrical outlets!
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That sort of miracle has happened for real -
Teddy Roosevelt was shot in the chest while giving a campaign speech. His eyeglass case and a 50 page copy of his speech in his coat slowed the bullet. Roosevelt concluded that since he was not coughing blood, the bullet had not reached his lung; he refused to go to the hospital, and instead, delivered his speech.
OP
AJ
US Veteran
Well not everyone is perfect!
Indeed. I have seen things that tore my heart out, and things that have made me laugh my *** off.
It's been an interesting ride.
Keep it up AJ.
I love this thread and it is one of my favorites . Although I am part a family of service (uncle WWII, father Korea during the active war, several cousins in country Vietnam, and a son in Iraq) and I was in Korea 77-81 so I am also cautious of my comments not being a Vietnam vet, and I guess others may feel the same.
I love this thread and it is one of my favorites . Although I am part a family of service (uncle WWII, father Korea during the active war, several cousins in country Vietnam, and a son in Iraq) and I was in Korea 77-81 so I am also cautious of my comments not being a Vietnam vet, and I guess others may feel the same.
A cop friend explained that sometimes when an officer pulls you over and has a 'poor' attitude to give them some slack.
You never know what his previous call was about, what he had to do or what mess had to be cleaned up.
OP
AJ
US Veteran
OP
AJ
US Veteran
All comments are welcome from all players no matter what war, conflict or peacetime (God knows there was not much of that). I see a lot of recent cartoons, WW II cartoons and Viet Nam cartoons. But not any from Korea. If anyone has some please post them or send them to me to post. All input is welcome.
OP
AJ
US Veteran
My Son-In-Law is a Deputy Sheriff here. Some good times and many not so good.........
OP
AJ
US Veteran
This is from another conflict that cost us a bunch of U.S. Marines & Sailors and French Paratroops, that were there to help try to keep the peace.
This US Marine stopped 3 Israeli tanks with just a sidearm and anger
And it is still going on over there with some of the same players.
This US Marine stopped 3 Israeli tanks with just a sidearm and anger
And it is still going on over there with some of the same players.
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Doug M.
Member
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True enough, but what usually caused my difficult attitudes were the behaviors that resulted in the contact. Given my already unpleasant nature and rough voice/tone, I tried really hard not to let it show unless needed.
It isn't about Korea, but I remember the neighbor kid's dad had a cartoon and story book called "Mox Nix". It was about being a soldier of the Occupation in West Germany during the 1950's. He was in an Armored Division IIRC.
He's long since passed. I wonder if his son still has the book?
