I was talking with some friends last night about their vacation plans for this summer. They are going to spend some time on an old sailing ship in Maine. This gave me an idea.

First we get a Letter of Marque and Reprisal from Congress. Then we get a ship to operate off the coast of Somalia. We outfit the ship with M16s, M60s, M79 grenade launchers, M3 50 caliber machineguns (M3 is correct. It has double the cyclic rate of an M2), and any other armament that we chose. Then we charge tourists to sail on the ship and hunt pirates. The Letter of Marque and Reprisal makes it all legal. The tourists can shoot all the pirates that they want, because there is no limit to the number of pirates that you can take. Shoot one or a hundred. It would be like shooting rats. Occasionally we would lose a tourist or two, but that is part of the adventure of pirate hunting.

I don't know how a taxidermist would feel about mounting one of the trophies. How do you explain it to US Customs? "Oh, him. He's just a pirate I shot on vacation. I'm taking him home to stuff and put in my living room."

Okay, getting the Letter of Marque and Reprisal from Congress is about like getting a copy of The Annointed One's real birth certificate; it just ain't gonna happen. The concept may make a funny, if bizarre, movie.

For those of you without a sense of humor, give it to me with both barrels. I can take it.

I was talking with some friends last night about their vacation plans for this summer. They are going to spend some time on an old sailing ship in Maine. This gave me an idea.

First we get a Letter of Marque and Reprisal from Congress. Then we get a ship to operate off the coast of Somalia. We outfit the ship with M16s, M60s, M79 grenade launchers, M3 50 caliber machineguns (M3 is correct. It has double the cyclic rate of an M2), and any other armament that we chose. Then we charge tourists to sail on the ship and hunt pirates. The Letter of Marque and Reprisal makes it all legal. The tourists can shoot all the pirates that they want, because there is no limit to the number of pirates that you can take. Shoot one or a hundred. It would be like shooting rats. Occasionally we would lose a tourist or two, but that is part of the adventure of pirate hunting.

I don't know how a taxidermist would feel about mounting one of the trophies. How do you explain it to US Customs? "Oh, him. He's just a pirate I shot on vacation. I'm taking him home to stuff and put in my living room."

Okay, getting the Letter of Marque and Reprisal from Congress is about like getting a copy of The Annointed One's real birth certificate; it just ain't gonna happen. The concept may make a funny, if bizarre, movie.

For those of you without a sense of humor, give it to me with both barrels. I can take it.

now that is a cruise I would enjoy

Betcha it would end the pirate problem......Mike

Great idea!!!

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Lynnie, Professional Pest

Will it be informal dress attire, is there asigned seating at meals, and is Scotch duty free? Sounds like a great cruise.

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Kevin in Oregon

Make it for fun AND profit!
I'll betcha' more than one transport outfit would be willing to pay a sub-contractor! It would help defray the costs of operating a fast D/E.
It's pretty easy to tell "friendlies", they're the one's with actual Navy's and warships! Question is, how do you keep score? I'll assume by counting disused outboard motors?

oh hell you need to keep score,,,,I thought this was a relaxing vacation

Pirate hunting/shark fishing. Dead pirates should make good shark chum.

I stand corrected 11.
I don't know what came over me? Sometimes I have trouble being able to relax when first starting a great vacation?

now the tough question... do we need to bring our own ammunition or is it included with the cruise ticket, this is important because you cant find ammunition here

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @ $800 per day, per person double occupancy but I didn't find it that offensive.

What I found enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon.

The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95

Ak-47 rifle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at 14.95

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds of .50 cal. armor piercing at 9.95

Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

They even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....

"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"

Sign my arse up!

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY" They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad.

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)

How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.

At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before May 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars, Hamburg Germany

2000Z,
Quite possibly, the greatest posting I've ever read here!
And for this place, that's saying a LOT!
KUDO's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see the SouthPark episode where Cartman's dreams of being a pirate take him to Somalia?

Fatbeard

Cool!!! Sign me up.
I have a couple friends that would also be interested.
Are there trophy fees?

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Lynnie, Professional Pest

I prefer the German Q-Ship concept were merchent vessels were armed to the teeth, but all weapons were concealed and the decks, stacks and masts were made so that they could continuously be moved to new configurations. The weapons that I would choose would be tracking torpedoes, 5 inch guns, and phalanx systems and quad 50's for close work. This would probably ruin the Pirate trophies, but I would prefer the video of watching their boats distingrate around them.

Barb that was hysterical-how do those guys put something like that together so fast-it's long but worth watching

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Forum consigliere

Remember back in the 80s when tourists were targeted because of the rental cars they drove, mostly in Miami?

I was going to get a van with out of state plates, fogged windows,some inconspicuous gun slits and "Sunshine Rentals" on the side. Advertise a "new type of adventure" and let individuals bring whatever armament they wanted and then start each tour at the airport and just drive around and wait to be accosted. When I mentioned this to my friends I soon found out that if they brought all the guns they wanted there would be room for only 1-2 persons. Not cost effective. Better luck with your venture.

If the books and a few movies were true, they put a bounty on apaches years ago. Trouble was some collected on bringing in mexican sheepherders ears.

Excellent idea FM. Hell, I'd buy a ticket on that ship!

That's the best idea of heard so far to solve this problem. Nothing like good old American ingenuity.

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G.P. Charlie

Did you happen to see what the smoking policy was? I wouldn't want a nice trip killing pirates to be ruined by secondhand smoke. Hate it when that happens!

Smitty

Houston Rick
i think you are on the right track, but i think a darth vader sneak attack boat would also be nice with the ordinance