The cost of weddings today.

When I got married my mother had a catering business, so that knocked down the cost a lot. It was my mom’s gift to us. She also made the cake so all the layers were different types of cake so you could get what you wanted.
 
Wife and I did the courthouse thing.

Spent about 2k on a party for relatives and friends after.

Don't have kids so there will be no expensive silliness going forward
 
Sarah and Ray had a civil ceremony at the Escambia County, Florida Courthouse with immediate family in attendance. Ruthie's mom and dad, Ray's mom and dad and Ruthie and I pooled what we would have contributed to a wedding and small reception into a savings account for them to have access to after Ray's six year hitch was up (which included a tour at Camp Bastion/Camp Leatherneck in the sandbox.

It helped them get the nice home they have now.

I couldn't have built a better SIL from a kit.


 
Here in San Antonio, every Valentine’s Day there is a free mass wedding held at the county courthouse performed by a judge. They always have a crowd of couples show up. One of my former employees participated. His wife-to-be rented a wedding dress for $100. Just as legal as getting married any other way and a great deal cheaper.
 
Forty years ago, our oldest daughter and her husband (they eloped) wanted to have a reception at Dallas' ritziest hotel to impress mostly his friends. Cost was $5,000 1983 dollars for one hour. We gave them a check for $5,000 and mentioned that the return on their investment wasn't going to be very great. They thought about it, and used the money to buy a house.
 
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1977 me and my late wife got hitched. She was Catholic from a big Italian family. Her Uncle, the Priest, did the ceremony. Plus she was the first of the four daughters to marry.
We just wanted a simple ceremony. MIL wasn't having it. SHE wanted a full blown all out affair. Planning that thing led to more than one nasty fight between wife and mother. But in the end, MIL won. :rolleyes:
It was HUGE! :eek: Big church cathedral and the biggest hall for the reception. About 300 guests, most of which I didn't even know. Open bar and lots of drunks. I was miserable and couldn't wait for it to end. :(

OTOH: My younger son and DIL got married in 2020 right at the height of Covid. Ceremony was held in her sister's back yard, Minister was a family friend, reception was pot luck and a total of 9 people in attendance. Everybody was happy. :D
 
Just tell her you'll spring for a room at a "By-the-hour" fleabag motel.
 
just to be honest, I'm a wedding photographer. That being said, so much of what wedding money gets spent on is fleeting stuff, that over time you won't remember at all, and really doesn't matter.

Good food and drink doesn't need to be that expensive. The venue and all the help really adds up. The more you do, and not hired help, really keeps the price down.

My partner, when she married her ex husband, they had the wedding and reception in a park. Her fiance worked at a commercial fishing outfit here in Seattle, and they flew in fresh salmon caught the night before, and there was a bbq for the celebration, with a few kegs. An RV was used to do the changing and hair/makeup in. They had a great day, and to this day her family brings up how much fun it was. But they lament not getting a professional photographer. So does her older brother and his wife. I've tried to fix some terrible negatives so they have something, but digital image manipulation isn't like they show in the movies and on TV.
 
Some of the strongest marriages I know of began in a pasture on a biker campout. Usually pot luck dinner after and byob after. My best friend went whole hog. Cupcakes from a bakery, burgers and dogs and 2 kegs of beer. Never knew the party at the start of a marriage was any indicator of success. Seemed like what you do after is more important.
 
lihpster said:
Some of the strongest marriages I know of began in a pasture on a biker campout. Usually pot luck dinner after and byob after. My best friend went whole hog. Cupcakes from a bakery, burgers and dogs and 2 kegs of beer. Never knew the party at the start of a marriage was any indicator of success. Seemed like what you do after is more important.
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you do get a good indicator of how the couple navigates stress as a team when it comes to the wedding/reception arrangements. My ex wife was a trainwreck, and everyone but me was zereod in on it. My current partner everyone loves, and her parents loved me, so, much better off. She still has a good relationship with her ex, for the sake of their grown kids, and that is another indicator. She owns up to her part in the marriage ending. Another kood thing too.

Anyway, if both parties are in agreement, they can do it any way they want to. If friends and family love and support them, the details are irrelevant.
 
Racer X said:
Anyway, if both parties are in agreement, they can do it any way they want to. If friends and family love and support them, the details are irrelevant.
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Absolutely true, but if you ask me to buy an arctic fox tuxedo and fly to Geenland for the ceremony, that love and support is gonna be from afar.:D
 
What's this rehearsal dinner nonsense? Sounds like another extra you probably don't need. Are weddings sold by ex-car dealers now?
 
thankfully my better half and I were on the same page 29 years ago... we were both broke... she was an only child, I was #4 of 5... previous siblings weddings were big fancy (now divorced), ran away and eventually got hitched (after 1st kid was born of 3 total and yes, now divorced), posh wedding my mother finally got to plan (still married) and ours... which was simple.. rehearsal dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant that just closed when grandma passed this past spring.. a church wedding followed by reception with DJ, sandwiches, cake & bar... her mom paid for flowers, reception dinner & cake, my dad paid for bar tab (beer & soda) I paid for wedding fees, photographer & rehearsal dinner... but always make sure both the bride & groom are in love with BEING married not just GETTING married... the party isn't why you get married.
 
In 2001, I told my daughter she had to work with a $15K limit. She did a marvelous job staying on budget. No congressional career for her.

She ordered her wedding dress from an on-line company, it was delivered in a large box, and it fit like a glove.

We were able to used the Fort Snelling Chapel for the wedding ceremony and their Officers' Club because he had just graduated from the Navy. We had a buffet style dinner at the OC; then, the bride and groom boarded a limo bus for a night on the town - bar hopping and taking advantage of the bars' bands or DJs.
 
IMO, spending an exorbitant amount on a big wedding isn't the smartest thing to do. The money is gone in a few hours. Couples are better off investing in their future lives together. Unfortunately, the decision is usually based on emotion and desire instead of reason. I was really lucky and able find a soulmate from a family with values similar to mine.

Mrs Chad and I were married by her pastor and had the reception at her parents home. I was 35 and my bride was 33 at the time. We had around 30 people in attendance (family and close friends). It seemed everyone had a good time.

I bought a barrel of local craft beer and her folks bought a few bottles of hooch for the reception. My MIL and I prepared the food and I doubt the entire event cost over $1200.

I owned a small condo at the time, but my future bride didn't want to live there. We bought a house 3 months before the wedding and put $60K down. I sold my condo about a year later. We moved into the house on our wedding night and had it paid off in about 15 years. Our 30th anniversary will be this October.
 
One of the fastest growing commercial business additions in my part of the world is folks building "wedding venues". It is amazing how much people spend on a wedding. I really do not understand, but it's not my money.

I do a lot of genealogy in my retirement, most of the marriage certificates from 100-150 years ago shows that almost all folks got married at the home of the bride. You can bet not a lot was spent for the "show".

This money would be better spent to find them a home somewhere as a down payment and with the price of these wedding today, one could probably purchase a starter home for the new couple, and they would have no mortgage. I think P T Barnum was correct about one born every minute in the USA. But then most folks could care less about what I think.

Every time I hear about one of this big wedding event, I always think to myself the old saying. "People spending money they do not have, to purchase things they do not need to impress folks they do not know".

I think I will start a wedding venue in the back forty pasture, It could bring in a lot of extra cash to purchase the necessity S&W revolvers I encounted in life.
 
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One son got married, then the other son got married exactly two weeks later. Thank goodness they weren't daughters!
 
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