Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but wouldn’t the hammer spring be the one with more control over the slide battering the frame, so a heavier hammer spring would be what you need? While the recoil spring plays a part, its main function is to drive the slide back forward and chamber a round, whereas the rearward energy is used to cock the hammer for the next round. They work in tandem for sure, but two pounds on the recoil spring is negligible in terms of recoil dampening vs two pounds on the hammer spring.
Some of what you say is absolutely correct. But, I believe you may be drawing incorrect conclusions.
Increased hammer spring strength tends to work against the slide most at the very beginning of slide movement, and can retard unlocking (if that is desired for other reasons). But, once the hammer has been cocked by the slide, the hammer spring can play no further significant role in slowing slide velocity. The trouble is, increased hammer spring strength will almost certainly increase the first shot double action trigger pull weight unnecessarily.
On the other hand, increased recoil spring strength continues to act against slide velocity for the entire length of the slide’s travel, gradually slowing the slide until it finally contacts its stop at the end of its travel.
So, because the barrel seats down against the frame fairly early in the the process, the force with which it does that can be moderated by increasing the strength of the hammer spring, the strength of the recoil spring, or a little of both. But, in order to keep the double action trigger pull weight down to a user-friendly level, the recoil spring would seem to be the better choice for controlling slide velocity by increasing its strength. Plus, the recoil spring is slightly more conveniently exchanged than is the hammer spring.
Two side benefits of using an increased strength recoil spring are:
1. You need not wander quite as far to recover ejected cases (if you reload).
2. More of the recoil impulse to the shooting hand is spread out over a longer time, making it feel a bit less sharp.