J-frame guns are certainly among the very best for carrying. I'm unaware of any safer handguns. However, they are not for novices and are difficult to shoot well. They are quite accurate in the hands of a skilled shooter. The alloy-frame guns are very light and the difficulty for the less-than-skilled shooter increases with these guns over the regular versions.
Before one delves into laser grips, trigger enhancements, headlights, bobbed hammers, speedloaders, and other accessories of questionable worth, it's very important to practice sufficiently with an unmolested, out-of-the-box J-frame gun. Learn to shoot well. If you truly see a need for gadgetry at that point, that's when to accessorize as you'll have a real feel for the gun and your own abilities.
Practice and carry whatever ammo works best - what shoots to point-of-aim, allows for quick recoil recovery, doesn't project a vicious fireball from the barrel, and that you can hit the target consistently with. All other ammo considerations are secondary despite the gospel preached by the sedentary gunfighting theorists.
You only deceive yourself by shooting at close targets. Shooting up close may show that you are an excellent marksman when you are far from it, masks your shortcomings, and shows that all ammo, even the sorriest stuff, is accurate. Good luck-