A couple favorite sayings

[Federalis]

Alcohol: Turning articulate, intelligent people into babbling idiots since the dawn of time…

 

[Iggy]

When your mother calls, you ought to go.
When Mother Nature calls, you gotta go !

 

[BKLooney]

You just might, but we'll both go home with grass stains on our clothes.

 

[Sgt hump]

My grandpa always said: My dog ain't in that fight,so I'm staying out of it. Another one was: If'n it ain't broke then don't fix it.

 

[30-30remchester]

Some people say I am a sweetheart. Some people say I am a mean jerk. Both are true. Which one you get depends on you.

 

[WR Moore]

My mother would occasionally tell me that "I hope you have 3 just like you." SFAIK, I don't and I hope it stays that way. I will admit to passing that on to our kids when they start whining about theirs.

My father had a couple I'll have to think for awhile to see if I can phrase them so I don't run afoul of the moderators. Oops, handejector did one of them. The other one was that someone was too dumb to pour (urine) out of a boot with the directions on the sole.

 

[two-bit cowboy]

This metal notebook resides in a shirt pocket over my heart.

 

[mckenney99]

I was a fairly new Trooper sitting in the court Bailiff's office, at one of our courts, waiting for one of my first trials with an actual defense attorney involved. This particular defense counsel was well known for attacking the arresting officers actions, character, training, parenting and anything else he could get by with to try and get the officer rattled. There was another older officer (Shotzy) from another agency in the room waiting for his case to be called and he told me to stick my hand out and he took out his pen and wrote DLTSOBPYO on my palm. Shotzy explained the abbreviation stood for, Don't Let The *** P... You Off and whenever opposing counsel starts to get under your skin, just look down at your hand take a breath, grin and relax. It worked and it threw the attorney off "his game" and took away one of his favorite "tactics".

I also learned that when I was about to go up against this particular attorney on a case and I ran into him in the court hallway before trial, I would greet him like we were old friends, shake his hand and it seemed to tick him off a good bit.

 

[Oldengineer]

Bill doesn't need the best car at the beginning of the race,he needs the best car at the end of the race. Ernie Elliot - NASCAR crew chief

 

[DeplorabusUnum]

"Don't go gettin' yourself wrapped around the axle now"

 

[Simson-Suhl]

Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend..

 

[Farmer17]

"Every time my ship is about to come in it gets torpedoed in the harbor".


King James Bible version of a popular quote:

"Let not thy door striketh ye posterior on thy way out"

 

[Wrench6]

"Busier than a cat covering up **** on a tin roof."

 

[BC38]

"Busier than a cat covering up **** on a tin roof."

Another of my dad's favorites...

 

[Rustyt1953]

Two from dad:

When he was still in uniform he would leave for work and say "well, gotta go keep the country on its feet".

When paying a compliment "he's smarter'n a house cat".

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

The other side of death must be pretty good.......No one's ever came back and complained about it.

 

[Oldengineer]

The results are always perfect for the choices we make.

 

[johngalt]

There are only 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

[BAM-BAM]

Old Lawyer to me years ago: Quoting a Judge's comment to him when he was getting started decades ago.

" Counselor, you do realize you're in a Court of Law, not a Court of Justice!!!!"

 

[Claymore33]

Be chary of giving advice , wise men don't need it and fools won't heed it