David LaPell
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- Mar 9, 2008
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Earlier tonight I got a phone call that my sister had passed away. She was 46 years old. I have been troubled thinking how to feel. I feel worse for my nephew, he had a bad falling out with his mother back in October, to the point where he was being assaulted and abused. A couple of weeks later my sister was in a car accident, it's a miracle she made it through that, broke all the ribs on her left side, her left arm in several places, bruised a kidney and her heart. The accident was her fault, the cops found a loaded handgun in the car along with drugs.
After the accident and recovery she wasn't healing up the way she was supposed to, and the doctors found cancer, and it was everywhere, bones, liver, kidneys, everywhere. It turns out my sister found a lump well over a year ago, why she never went to the doctor when she did find it is something she took to her grave. She was a nurse, had been one for years, she knew what it meant, but she was also a drug addict, any tests would have thrown up red flags.
The sad part is that she wasted her life. She had been breaking the law, doing drugs, selling drugs since she was 15. She moved down south because her and her boyfriend had been indicted by a grand jury for selling drugs, so she ran. She had been picked up at least once, but she was too far away for extradition. Her boyfriend's father tried helping them, gave them a car and a new house. They trashed them both to the point the father took everything back. They weren't paying on the house, the plumbing didn't work, the heat didn't work, all the money being made went to drugs. The boyfriend died last August, he had kidney failure. She was bringing guys into the house even before that, drugs and prostitution.
After he died, she turned up selling drugs and herself into overdrive right up until the accident. She and I never had gotten along, even as kids. I don't even remember us when we were really younger doing anything. She had her things and I did mine. As teenagers mostly we tried to kill each other. She got kicked out, arrested, brought back, arrested again, kicked out until she finally left.
I have really had a hard time with this over the last couple of months. My sister and I were not on good terms. She threatened to call CPS on my son a couple years back and then again the following year. I went to see her a month or so ago when she was basically given the news, and it was my mother and her boyfriend who called me and told me it had to be done right away, almost guilting me into it by telling me they would pay my gas money. I ended up going, I turned down their offer, and instead of really reconciling, my sister just told me about how cops are crooked, she didn't do all the drugs she was accused of doing and how even if she was picked up on her warrants, that they wouldn't want her because of her medical issues. I really was shocked because that was apparently how she wanted what ended up being her last conversation on earth with me to be. I didn't say anything, let her vent and offered what condolences I could and left. I wasn't sad, I was angry, that the game was being played until the very end.
Her son who just turned 30 didn't want to see her. Too much bad blood after she beat him, told him he wished he was never born. But my mother and her boyfriend intervened. My nephew told me later on he was guilted into going, that my mother asked what kind of person doesn't visit his dying mother. So he came. I talked to him tonight, he's hurting, he was the one who called me first, but he also sounds more relieved.
One of the last things that really shocked me was that my sister contacted my stepfather, who none of us had seen in 10 years since my mother divorced him. Him and I didn't get along, but my sister and him truly hated one another, he had her arrested several times, she called drug dealer friends of hers once to intimidate him. She told him what was happening, she was dying, and her offered to go see her. I don't know why, but then my sister jerked him around and when he wanted to, she told him not to bother to come see her and wants nothing to do with him. So I don't know if the whole thing was for attention. It's sad too that I've told many people who knew her, worked with her, and the responses I've gotten is that many people have no love lost for her because of how she was. I think it's sad that at the end of her life, she burned so many bridges that so few even feel sorry for her.
I find myself in that category. To watch someone who for 30 years lied, cheated, stole, sold drugs without regard to others, and then when the life caught up with her, seemed to have no remorse for it. To waste so much of a life and leave such a path of destruction. I can only feel sorry for my mother and my nephew, because no parent should have to bury their child. But I've tried to shed a tear, I find myself lacking them. I don't know what kind of person that makes me, but I feel for the others in the family that she hurt more than her. In know it's liable to be a long week.
After the accident and recovery she wasn't healing up the way she was supposed to, and the doctors found cancer, and it was everywhere, bones, liver, kidneys, everywhere. It turns out my sister found a lump well over a year ago, why she never went to the doctor when she did find it is something she took to her grave. She was a nurse, had been one for years, she knew what it meant, but she was also a drug addict, any tests would have thrown up red flags.
The sad part is that she wasted her life. She had been breaking the law, doing drugs, selling drugs since she was 15. She moved down south because her and her boyfriend had been indicted by a grand jury for selling drugs, so she ran. She had been picked up at least once, but she was too far away for extradition. Her boyfriend's father tried helping them, gave them a car and a new house. They trashed them both to the point the father took everything back. They weren't paying on the house, the plumbing didn't work, the heat didn't work, all the money being made went to drugs. The boyfriend died last August, he had kidney failure. She was bringing guys into the house even before that, drugs and prostitution.
After he died, she turned up selling drugs and herself into overdrive right up until the accident. She and I never had gotten along, even as kids. I don't even remember us when we were really younger doing anything. She had her things and I did mine. As teenagers mostly we tried to kill each other. She got kicked out, arrested, brought back, arrested again, kicked out until she finally left.
I have really had a hard time with this over the last couple of months. My sister and I were not on good terms. She threatened to call CPS on my son a couple years back and then again the following year. I went to see her a month or so ago when she was basically given the news, and it was my mother and her boyfriend who called me and told me it had to be done right away, almost guilting me into it by telling me they would pay my gas money. I ended up going, I turned down their offer, and instead of really reconciling, my sister just told me about how cops are crooked, she didn't do all the drugs she was accused of doing and how even if she was picked up on her warrants, that they wouldn't want her because of her medical issues. I really was shocked because that was apparently how she wanted what ended up being her last conversation on earth with me to be. I didn't say anything, let her vent and offered what condolences I could and left. I wasn't sad, I was angry, that the game was being played until the very end.
Her son who just turned 30 didn't want to see her. Too much bad blood after she beat him, told him he wished he was never born. But my mother and her boyfriend intervened. My nephew told me later on he was guilted into going, that my mother asked what kind of person doesn't visit his dying mother. So he came. I talked to him tonight, he's hurting, he was the one who called me first, but he also sounds more relieved.
One of the last things that really shocked me was that my sister contacted my stepfather, who none of us had seen in 10 years since my mother divorced him. Him and I didn't get along, but my sister and him truly hated one another, he had her arrested several times, she called drug dealer friends of hers once to intimidate him. She told him what was happening, she was dying, and her offered to go see her. I don't know why, but then my sister jerked him around and when he wanted to, she told him not to bother to come see her and wants nothing to do with him. So I don't know if the whole thing was for attention. It's sad too that I've told many people who knew her, worked with her, and the responses I've gotten is that many people have no love lost for her because of how she was. I think it's sad that at the end of her life, she burned so many bridges that so few even feel sorry for her.
I find myself in that category. To watch someone who for 30 years lied, cheated, stole, sold drugs without regard to others, and then when the life caught up with her, seemed to have no remorse for it. To waste so much of a life and leave such a path of destruction. I can only feel sorry for my mother and my nephew, because no parent should have to bury their child. But I've tried to shed a tear, I find myself lacking them. I don't know what kind of person that makes me, but I feel for the others in the family that she hurt more than her. In know it's liable to be a long week.
