A LEO with Humor

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Saw this on another site and thought it was pretty good!

Recently, the Tampa Police Department ran an e-mail forum with the local community (a Q&A exchange) with the topic being, ”Community Policing.”

One of the civilian e-mail participants posed the following question: ”I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people, and get away with it.”

Tampa PD Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor, replied:

”First of all, let me tell you this .. it’s not easy.

In Tampa, we average one cop for every 600 people.

Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as ”patrol”) where we do most of our harassing - the rest are in non-harassing departments which do not allow them contact with the day-to- day innocents.

At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty, and available for harassing people, while the rest are off-duty.

So, roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial businesses, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long.

This gives a cop one second to harass a person and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut before finding a new person to harass.

This is not an easy task - to be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out, it is just too tiring.

What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.

The tools available to us are as follows:

PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment.

”My neighbor is beating his wife” is a code phrase used often.
This means we’ll come out and give somebody some special harassment..

Another popular one: ”There’s a guy breaking into a house.”
The harassment team is then put into action.



CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive.

They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no registration or no driver’s license and the like.
It’s lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light.
Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk or have an outstanding warrant.



RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer.

Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a cat on the scent of a mouse.
When you catch them you can harass them for hours, to determine why they didn’t want to talk to us.



LAWS: When we don’t have PHONES or CARS or RUNNERS, and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks.

They are called ”Laws”; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Laws, etc …They spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people.
After you read the laws, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them.

Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car.
Well, there’s this book we have that says that’s not allowed.
That meant I was allowed to harass this guy.

It’s a really cool system that we’ve set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass and we get away with it.

Why ?

For the good of the Tampa citizens who pay the bill.

We try to keep the streets safe for them and they pay us to ”harass” some people.

Hopefully sir, this has clarified to you a little bit better how we harass the good citizens of Tampa.
 
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After reading the OP post. I must concur that he has one heck of a sense of humor. I know a few Police Officers here in my town and wish they had that much humor. One of the ones I know is just downright amazing as an officer. He happens to be the school resource officer where my kids went to school. His sense of humor is just as good as the one in Florida.

Awesome Officers.
 
Talk about a cop with a sense of humor, I once fixed a pistol for
a local LEO. When he came to pick it up and pay the bill I told
him forget the cash I wanted a " get out of jail free card", I had
nothing but a little time in the repair and the cops loafed in the
shop. Cop told me by gawd as long as you don't kill anyone as
long as the wind blows, water flows and I am a cop, you got your
card. A short time later he called me on a Saturday afternoon.
There was so much background noise I was having trouble hearing him. I said it sounds like you are in a beer joint. He says
he is. He's at his retirement party at a local joint and was calling
me to let me know my Get out of jail free card was expired.
 
I was 18 or 19 when I needed to remain on the scene of an unfortunate discovery I had made. A couple of the officers present may have not been aware I was within earshot or maybe they didn't notice me or even cared. I was surprised at the nature of the comments made regarding the bodies but quickly appreciated the compassion and strong feelings that were handled by humor.
It forever changed how I regarded cops and the brutal toll the job must take on their lives.
 
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