Apparently Chivalry is dead
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LennyLames
Member
In many parts of the country, generally in the metropolitan areas, a common reason for that behavior is for, in management lingo, "setting the right expectations."
If their date paid for the meal, the "lady" would be expected to, er . . . shall we say, "put out" on the first date. A fancy and expensive outing may correlate to a higher pressure for "consummation."
The woman paying her own way would, in some perverse way, reinforce the thought that she is not easy or promiscuous, more of a "lady."
Such is the level of morality that we have dug ourselves into.
I have a great deal of respect and admiration for women. It's how I was raised. It is automatic with me, I open doors, hold chairs etc whenever appropriate in public. I don't smoke so I don't lite cigarettes but I do believe in paying the lady's way on a date. I'm 42 years out of the dating game but I still believe that's the right way.
I started dating early. I was 15, she was 17. (Always liked older Women
) I didn't have a license yet so she had to pick me up. I learned early on it not only impressed my dates when I was a Gentleman, it REALLY impressed their Mothers! Their Mothers all loved me. Their Dads, well, I could tell they were looking at me thinking about how they could hide my body.
I always opened doors for them, but the car door was the one that really impressed them. Sure, anybody can open it when they get in, but the REAL Gentlemen have them wait in the car until the door is opened for them to get out. I've been married to the Lovely Missus P&R Fan for almost 24 years, and I still do that. I also do it for my Mom and my female clients. I have had people give me the thumbs up when I do it. My son is 19, and several times strangers have commented on him doing these things around Women. That, is one thing I am immensely proud of, because he got it from me.
Sometimes, you look at your kids and know Ya done good.
Jim
) I didn't have a license yet so she had to pick me up. I learned early on it not only impressed my dates when I was a Gentleman, it REALLY impressed their Mothers! Their Mothers all loved me. Their Dads, well, I could tell they were looking at me thinking about how they could hide my body.I always opened doors for them, but the car door was the one that really impressed them. Sure, anybody can open it when they get in, but the REAL Gentlemen have them wait in the car until the door is opened for them to get out. I've been married to the Lovely Missus P&R Fan for almost 24 years, and I still do that. I also do it for my Mom and my female clients. I have had people give me the thumbs up when I do it. My son is 19, and several times strangers have commented on him doing these things around Women. That, is one thing I am immensely proud of, because he got it from me.
Sometimes, you look at your kids and know Ya done good.
Jim
TRUE STORY, HONEST
Moved to AZ fire years ago, in JULY=100*, tried to find a job. Coming home and spoted a young mother, two kid's in a truck with a flat tire, she was on a cell phn and her husband was telling her how to change it,stopped, told her I would change it, step over to the curb side, she would not do that so I started to do the job, she stayed on the cell phn and I was wrenching it off I heard" NO, HE HAS NOT TRIED ANYTHING" thought man I am 62 yrs old and my hearing just got worse, got it just about done and I hear "NO, IF HE TRIES ANYTHING, I CAN HANDLE IT"
Needless to say I got done and got out of there fast. SIXTY TWO
year old man from MINN in 110* weather, changing a tire on a truck that DID NOT EVEN BELONG TO HIM, with traffic going by.
I never thought about it but in AZ that is a SEXUAL DEVIENT, HA HA
Moved to AZ fire years ago, in JULY=100*, tried to find a job. Coming home and spoted a young mother, two kid's in a truck with a flat tire, she was on a cell phn and her husband was telling her how to change it,stopped, told her I would change it, step over to the curb side, she would not do that so I started to do the job, she stayed on the cell phn and I was wrenching it off I heard" NO, HE HAS NOT TRIED ANYTHING" thought man I am 62 yrs old and my hearing just got worse, got it just about done and I hear "NO, IF HE TRIES ANYTHING, I CAN HANDLE IT"
Needless to say I got done and got out of there fast. SIXTY TWO
year old man from MINN in 110* weather, changing a tire on a truck that DID NOT EVEN BELONG TO HIM, with traffic going by.
I never thought about it but in AZ that is a SEXUAL DEVIENT, HA HA
Hillbilly77
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Moved to AZ fire years ago, in JULY=100*, tried to find a job. Coming home and spoted a young mother, two kid's in a truck with a flat tire, she was on a cell phn and her husband was telling her how to change it,stopped, told her I would change it, step over to the curb side, she would not do that so I started to do the job, she stayed on the cell phn and I was wrenching it off I heard" NO, HE HAS NOT TRIED ANYTHING" thought man I am 62 yrs old and my hearing just got worse, got it just about done and I hear "NO, IF HE TRIES ANYTHING, I CAN HANDLE IT"
Needless to say I got done and got out of there fast. SIXTY TWO
year old man from MINN in 110* weather, changing a tire on a truck that DID NOT EVEN BELONG TO HIM, with traffic going by.
I never thought about it but in AZ that is a SEXUAL DEVIENT, HA HA
I stopped a few weeks ago to help a stranded car with three, um... I'll call them young ladies. They told me that "It just shut off". I am a mechanic for a living, and always have a tool kit in my pickup.
Among my tools I have an OBD2 code reader with me. As I checked under the dashboard for the plug, the driver made no move to get out of the way, so I said loudly and clearly "I need to look under here for the plug." Then I announced that "I need to reach over and plug the scanner in, etc."
I made sure that they knew what I was doing so I didn't get accused of "trying something" with the driver. It's a sad world where even a Good Samaritan needs to worry about what people think about their intentions. I only ever intend to help.
Long story short, I found the problem and had them back on the road in a few minutes. They all thanked me and I was glad to send them on their way.
papajohn428
Member
My girlfriend was a bit apprehensive at first, not really sure what I was about, maybe because I made a lot of stalking jokes on our first "date" which was a trip to the range to teach her about guns and safe shooting. I opened her door for her when I picked her up, she smiled and got in, and we had chatted all the way to the club. I guess she forgot about the door thing.
Once we arrived at the range I shut off the car and bounded out my door, strode around to her side, and opened her door. She gazed at me with a blank look for a moment, then finally said, "What?" I replied that I was simply opening her door because that was what gentlemen do, and helped her put her coat on, since it was chilly out that morning.
She smiled, held my hands for a moment as her coat wrapped around her shoulders, and I think I heard her mumble, "I could get used to this!"
Now she waits patiently for me to alight from the car, takes my hand as I help her out and to her feet, and smiles sweetly as I slide my arm around her. She's even learned to let me hold her chair for her at the restaurant, and push it in as she scoots up to the table.
Apparently she's told her female co-workers about this odd behavior, because when I drop in to say hello or bring her lunch they stare at me like I'm from another planet.
I'm pretty sure she likes it. She hasn't complained yet.
Once we arrived at the range I shut off the car and bounded out my door, strode around to her side, and opened her door. She gazed at me with a blank look for a moment, then finally said, "What?" I replied that I was simply opening her door because that was what gentlemen do, and helped her put her coat on, since it was chilly out that morning.
She smiled, held my hands for a moment as her coat wrapped around her shoulders, and I think I heard her mumble, "I could get used to this!"
Now she waits patiently for me to alight from the car, takes my hand as I help her out and to her feet, and smiles sweetly as I slide my arm around her. She's even learned to let me hold her chair for her at the restaurant, and push it in as she scoots up to the table.
Apparently she's told her female co-workers about this odd behavior, because when I drop in to say hello or bring her lunch they stare at me like I'm from another planet.
I'm pretty sure she likes it. She hasn't complained yet.
azbuckeye
Member
I guess you can include me in the dinosaur group. After 26 + years of marriage, I still open doors for my wife, hold her coat for her and even buy her flowers from time to time.
That's the way my parents raised me and it has served me well for my 51+ years.
That's the way my parents raised me and it has served me well for my 51+ years.
Poodle Soup
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I will hold open doors, let women sit down first, wait until they get their food before I chow down and stuff like that.
But man have I gotten glares from girls my own age. Im 23 and most girls my age seem to not like it.
But yesterday I did let a door close on some lady who was being a total hag... I opened the door for my girl friend and as I was walking through I noticed her coming in. I held it open so she could take it (Im in the doorway and cant get out of her way) and she glares at me and turns back and starts yelling at her husband. So I just let it go and walked away smiling to my self as it hit her on the behind.
But man have I gotten glares from girls my own age. Im 23 and most girls my age seem to not like it.
But yesterday I did let a door close on some lady who was being a total hag... I opened the door for my girl friend and as I was walking through I noticed her coming in. I held it open so she could take it (Im in the doorway and cant get out of her way) and she glares at me and turns back and starts yelling at her husband. So I just let it go and walked away smiling to my self as it hit her on the behind.
Steve in Vermont
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Years ago I was in New Jersey taking some summer college courses. Entering the building I held the door for a tall blonde lady and, as she entered, I politely and quietly said "Ma’am". Her stare could cut steel. In the class, there she was. The instructor started with introductions and, when it was her turn, she chewed me up one side and down the other. Apparently I, alone, was responsible for holding every woman in American from becoming a "real" person. I remained speechless, having never dealt with such a person (before or since). After the class the instructor pulled me aside and told me about this lady, an "ultra feminist" who headed a national organization. He laughed it off, apparently I wasn't the first to feel her scorn. These gals are very few and far between but once you've met one you'll never forget it. (For the remaining weeks on campus I avoided her like a puppy running from a folded newspaper. I swear she would give Gunny a run for his money).
windypoint
Member
I still open doors but it is getting harder to rise every time a woman arrives or leaves a table. Aging is not for the weak.
1. Right to vote
2. Bra burning
3. ERA
4. Same sex marriages
5. Serve in the Military in combat
6. have children without marriage or fathers
7. ??????
2. Bra burning
3. ERA
4. Same sex marriages
5. Serve in the Military in combat
6. have children without marriage or fathers
7. ??????
I guess sometimes you have to be on your toes. I'm getting older now, but I still follow the rules of my youth. However, I remember one time many years ago, when I was riding a bus and was either reading or sightseeing out the window, I don't remember which. All of a sudden, I'm aware that some lady is saying something about nobody giving a seat to someone who is in a family way. Embarrassed, I jumped up kind of quickly and offered her my seat. As she sat down, I noticed that she wasn't bad-looking, and not at all obvious yet, either. Tryiing to converse to cover my embarrassment at not having given her my seat (or even having noticed her) in the first place, I asked, "How long is it, now?" She looked at her watch and said, "About half an hour."
Hello to my fellow dinosaurs! When I was growing up it was
just accepted behavior(opening doors, giving up seats etc). I
still do these things, not because I expect anything for doing
them, but because that's the way I was raised. Sometimes I
get a thank you, a nod, maybe a smile, & that's fine. But when
someone blows past me like I'm some sort electric door opener,
I will definitely say loud enough for them to hear "Your Welcome"!
just accepted behavior(opening doors, giving up seats etc). I
still do these things, not because I expect anything for doing
them, but because that's the way I was raised. Sometimes I
get a thank you, a nod, maybe a smile, & that's fine. But when
someone blows past me like I'm some sort electric door opener,
I will definitely say loud enough for them to hear "Your Welcome"!
I am 27 years old. I dont reckon that makes me a dinosaur.
Anyway, a lady at hobby lobby had a buggy that weighed more than her and got it stuck on a speed bump in front of the store holding up traffic, I walked over to her and said "miss, would you like some help?" (ive learned that saying ma'am is a no no these days.
) So I picked up her buggy and set it on the other side of the speed bump for her and she freaked out. Said that I was a scholar and a gentleman and that chivalry is alive and well today, if I had to guess id say these polls were done in New York haha
Anyway, a lady at hobby lobby had a buggy that weighed more than her and got it stuck on a speed bump in front of the store holding up traffic, I walked over to her and said "miss, would you like some help?" (ive learned that saying ma'am is a no no these days.
) So I picked up her buggy and set it on the other side of the speed bump for her and she freaked out. Said that I was a scholar and a gentleman and that chivalry is alive and well today, if I had to guess id say these polls were done in New York haha
Fishslayer
US Veteran, Absent Comrade
Steely Dan
Member
I believe in respecting people.
I hold the door for anyone. Just seems like the right thing to do.
I always treat my wife well and hold the door for her, order for her, etc.
My wife is a southern belle from Mississippi. Nothing like a good country girl.
Of course, when she gets mad..........it's best to defuse the situation as fast as possible.
Phil Robertson said it best,
"Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em."
I hold the door for anyone. Just seems like the right thing to do.
I always treat my wife well and hold the door for her, order for her, etc.
My wife is a southern belle from Mississippi. Nothing like a good country girl.
Of course, when she gets mad..........it's best to defuse the situation as fast as possible.
Phil Robertson said it best,
"Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em."
Texas Star
US Veteran
I would prefer "a rogue and a ruffian" but that would do I gues...
Interesting. I had a girl (20) admit to me just last week that she likes guys who are non-PC with her. Look at how many women bought the books in the, "Fifty Shades of Grey" series. That includes my informant, although she says the books were overhyped. She read all three, a pretty good accomplishment, as English isn't her first language.
Look how many women like James Bond, a fairly rouguish guy with dames. (I don't mean Dames as a formal title, as in Dame Diana Rigg.)
I am 27 years old. I dont reckon that makes me a dinosaur.
(ive learned that saying ma'am is a no no these days.
I was raised saying ma'am but have been corrected a few times on this. Apparently some women under 50 find it offensive and ageist. Miss is acceptable. Maybe its a Northern state thing?
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