Caddie Remarks

[Airpark]

Caddie Remarks

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TEN BEST CADDIE REMARKS:

#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

#9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

#8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now."

#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

#6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence."

#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too
much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf."

#3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."

#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

#1 Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."


And the old favorite.....is the one about the Golfer who has been
slicing off the tee at every hole. He finally gives up and asks his
long suffering caddy if he has seen any obvious problems to which the caddy replies, "There's a piece of **** on the end of your club." The Golfer picks his club up and cleans the club face at which point the caddy says, "No, the other end."
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[TACC1]

Those are great, thanks for the change of pace.
TACC1

 

[Joni_Lynn]

Lol.............pretty good, thanks.

 

[Bullseye 2620]

I resemble (some of) those remarks.


Bullseye

 

[sheepdawg]

Between golf and guns a guy can go broke.

Ben Hogan story about him hitting practice balls at the British Open and the caddy shagging them.

Hogan's hitting his usual little fades to his caddy about 200 yards away with a 2 iron when a British pro who didn't know him walks up and says to him, "You know sir I think I can help you with that slice. "Hogan hits ten more balls and looks up at the guy, lights up a cigarette and says "Sir did you notice that my caddy has never moved?"

He was just that good. Won by four strokes and it was the only time he played in the British Open

 

[maryrose213]

Those were great, especially the last one. It had me rolling.

 

[leswad]

True Story…. My little brother wanted to improve his game long ago, and went to a pro for some instruction. After arriving the pro ask him to hit a few balls so he could observe his swing. After watching, the pro asked my little brother, “Did you play sports in high school?”… My little brother kind of bowed his chest and replied, “Why yes I did, I played football and baseball.” The golf pro responded, “I figured, you would have to be athletic to hit a ball with that swing!” Needless to say, my little brother was a little deflated after that.

 

[Capt Steve]

Two guys are out playing golf one afternoon and as luck would have they are behind a couple of ladies who are playing very slowly. After waiting on every hole one of the guys says "I'll drive up and ask the ladies if we can play through. The course isn't that crowded, I'm sure they won't mind."

So he drives up the fairway about 150 yards but when he gets to within about 50 yards of the women he makes and abrupt U-turn and returns.

"Aren't you going to talk to them?" his buddy asks.
"I can't talk to those two women, one of them is my wife and the other is my mistress" he explains. His pal, now laughing hysterically says "No problem you stay back here. I'll go talk to them".

He proceeds up the fairway 150 yards, makes the same U-turn, returns, looks at his buddy and says ...."Small world."

 

[redlevel]

A stupid game.

"A good walk, spoiled."

Last time I played, 35 years ago, I hit 3 balls in a little pond on a short par 3. Enraged, I flung my 9 iron at the pond. I missed. That was it for me.