Classes for women, Ladies please don't be offended

[dlstewart01]

FALL Classes for Women at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday October 30,2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..


Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issuedto the survivors.




__________________

 

[BarbC]

And in the same building (so the men won't get lost):

CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS.
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY JANUARY 25, 2010. NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 4 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper
and The Floor — Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real
Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, locations to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above
courses, Diplomas will be issued to the
survivors

 

[oldRoger]

You sir are a very brave (or foolish) man. My hat is off to you!
Where do we send the flowers?

 

[VM]

dlstewart01 - I'd be careful.....................
Dix and Misty both live in Tennesse

 

[TNDixieGirl]

dlstewart01 - I'd be careful.....................
Dix and Misty both live in Tennesse

And we carry guns.

 

[Chik a Boom]

You go, Girls!

 

[Forester]

Barb is never one to let these go by unchallenged.

 

[gunlovingirl]

And we carry guns.

I'll be by in 20 minutes to pick you up Dixie!

 

[Wheelgunner840]

gunlovingirl;
I'll be by in 20 minutes to pick you up Dixie!

We will need pictures, and the name of the funeral home so we can send a card.

 

[digi-shots]

Barb C...

That's a good one!

 

[jkc]

Both hilarious !

 

[Mickey D]

Digi-shots will take pictures for the memorial.

 

[Spotteddog]

Funny thing about those Jersey girls?
They can look as Billy Crystal said "marvelous", while carving out your giblets! I've seen a couple of shoot n' see target pictures that would keep me lowering the seat when finished. But then I was well trained. By my 2nd Wife.