Come on you LEO's let's start taking a bit more time with those reports.

I recall when I was in the Army a long time ago, I was assigned to an Infantry Scout platoon real neat job had gun jeeps just like Rat Patrol. After about 6 months my squad leader a senior Buck Sergeant gave me a counselling statement. It said Pvt. Neu be a good scout man. so it's not only LEO's
 
One of local Sheriff Joe's deputies, reporting his investigation of bestiality involving a sheep, reported that he discovered the alleged perpetrator in the sheep pen, with his "Gentiles" exposed. (Gentiles is Mormon vernacular for non-believers, and this incident occurred in a still predominantly Mormon community...) We just can't have people walking around exposing their coins and infidel beliefs --- this has to stop!
 
The best bugger up I've ever seen is when a Miami Metro caught us stranded on the side of the road in a '56 Packard.This was in '76 and the Packard had '67 Penn. plates and inspection sticker.
Mister officer car guy thought it was a Merc,We didn't argue and at court nobody seemed to know nothing about ownership of a Merc.That car was fingernail polish pink with white and said Packard all over it.It was cool.Good times back then.
 
I'll be more careful on my reports when the lawyers start giving me accurate addresses on their summons and subpeonas. You should see the **** I get from so-called educated people. Here's how it works. I get ten pieces of process. Two are in the wrong county, three are five year old addresses and they don't live there anymore, two more are large apartment complexes or trailer parks with no apartment numbers or lot numbers, (some of these the property manager may help, most not) and the rest are actually good adresses. I got one yesterday that said "maybe ya'll know where he is". I didn't. When I have time and can research some of these folks they want to get to court I can find some of them. I don't always have time to do this though. I've never spelled it "pennies."
 
dem cops is probly a product of de Loosana public educaion system. was de from Shreveport?
 
Funny stuff!

Its easy for your finges to type faster than your brain when you've got complaints coming in quicker than you can clear them.


But then there's some guys that are jsut dumb. ;)
 
I work in a state correctional facility. We periodically have to write reports; disciplinary, incident, etc. I am continually amazed at the lack of proper grammer & spelling. I have certain officers seek me out every time they write a report so I can proofread it & tell them how to spell certain words...


Pete
 
I used to represent deputy sheriffs in lawsuits brought by people claiming violations of their civil rights. The officers had to eat many a report because of a lack of facts and explanation for the officers' actions. I have tried to explain to them that they will win or lose based upon the report. What usually happens is the officers are going off duty and want to get the reports done so that they can go home or the incident is so painful they do not want to relive it. When there is a shooting involved, the officers frequently report that they feared for their lives but do not say what caused them to fear for their lives. Officers need to write complete reports and proof read them. Its not to make my job of defending them easier, it is documenting what happened and to protect them later. It also helps the prosecutor in making the criminal case.
 
I used to tell my people "screwing up an investigation is bad enough, but if you screw up a report you are really in trouble." Keep shootin'
 
CAJUNLAWYER said:
Was in court for motion day this morning and had a client charged with obscenity. He was peeing behind a building. :rolleyes: Anyway I was trying to get the charge reduced fo peeing in public which is now a crime in Louisiana (used to be that if caught the only thing they could charge you with was obscenity whinh is a sex reporting crime and sometimes you got a DA that wouldn't reduce to DP-so the legislature passed a bill to make is specifically illegal to pee in public). Anyway I digest.
So we were doing the Preliminary Hearing and I was reviewing the police report and according to the reporting LEO my client was "behind the building with his pennies clearly visible at which time he was arrested." I agreed to waive live testimony and let the report speak for itself regarding probable cause......
Pled him out to peeing in public :D

Then the next one I pick up has the victim suffering from "all timers".
Oh well.........live from the front lines of the criminal justice system ;).
Click to expand...

Thank god you need to have a college education to be in law enforcement these days! ; )
 
I once worked with an officer who wrote exactly like he spoke. Any reports that could possibly go to court were written by his partner. :(

Anyway, I have seen a number of his reports that contained phrases like" The wall was beat in by a slug (sledge) hammer", "Entry was made to the house by pulling the scream (screen) outta the window".

The most remembered report though involved the theft and location of the victim's bicycle: " The bicycle was parked on his (nickname for Richard)" We believed it was actually located behind the house on the deck. :D
 
I do the property crimes case management in my precinct; I read all of the incident reports and then assign them to detectives or others for follow-up or for their information. I find myself laughing out loud pretty frequently.

I began posting the most amusing and most poorly written reports, after highlighting them, on a section of the squad room bulletin board I labeled as "Report Of The Week." The most egregious offenders were regularly pummeled by their peers and, sadly for my entertainment factor, the quality of the writing has improved.
 
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