Did I do the right thing???

[WuzzFuzz]

Sir:

In my opinion the story you presented was not so much about the couple you helped, but it was about you and your wife.

The reason I say this, in this ole world of ours, there are those less fortunate than us. There always has been, there always will be.

To be sure, there are those such as you and your wife who have stepped up to assist those who are less fortunate.

Giving assistance, note, I do not say charity, is for the purpose of assisting those in their time of need. From your message to us, it appears the couple's dire need had passed.

There will be some considerate people in this world, although at times it seems as though there fewer and fewer.

Your actions have demonstrated you and your wife are examples of those we do still believe in. We, (I) admire you for your compassion.

You asked for reassurance from us on this forum, you and your wife's decision to end the assistance, was a correct decision.

I for one concur your decision was correct. Sometimes "Tough Love" is just that. It is tough, but it is love.

No doubt you and your wife's personal makeup will not let this incident sour you on assisting another at some future time, should the occasion arise.

There are still good people in the ole world, and you have renewed our (my) belief that such people do exist.

Best wishes,


WuzzFuzz

 

[THEWELSHM]

Not much I can add to what's already been said here in the way of complimenting your wife and you for what you have done for these folks except this:

"What you do for the least of these, you do for Me."

I hope there is peace in this situation for all concerned, and blessings to all too.

Matthew 25.40

thewelshm

 

[Faulkner]

I looked up the White House phone number on the web page. Tell 'em to call and see if they can get some support there.

The White House

Switchboard: 202-456-1414

 

[USMCHEROS]

You did the right thing that shows you and your wife have soft hearts for the weaker families who are struggling to get by. It was the right thing to do deep down inside.

 

[Kanewpadle]

IMO, you did right. When helping others goes beyond simply helping and starts to affect you physically and emotionally, it's time to stop.

 

[feralmerril]

He is 75, she 55? She has some college? They havent paid into soc sec? First, you arent the lone ranger. I have done the same but outside of a couple mentialy challanged nephews not so much with males but A LOT with down and out females. Something tells me these people arent quite as bad off as they are portraying.
When is the last time you heard of someone really dieing due to starvation? On television just now I seen it said that over 40% of the people are on food stamps. Certainly they already are. I know of a simillar but FAR WORSE situation with a couple. So far she has had ten kids but only has three of them for several reasons. First mental, ex husband has three, one died and she is living with a guy about 10 years younger. System took away three and I think they have three and are living in little better than a shed. We helped with a couple of truck loads of food etc. I am sure you could give these type people $100,000s tax free and three months from now they would be just as broke. God bless.

 

[Fishslayer]

Your lovely bride...and you...did the right thing before. And you're doing what is BEST for all now. You should be very proud.

Please tell that saintly lady she has done far more than her share. It's the responsibility of those whom she aided to find appropriate care/assistance to meet their needs.

But I bet you're very proud of her!

Be safe.

I couldn't have said it any better, so

 

[TACC1]

Too bad things got out of hand, but...
It's hard enough to deal with one family, much less two.
I'm sure it was hard to bring things to a halt.
You'd like to help, but you can't carry everybody.
TACC1

 

[snubbyfan]

I met a fellow that lives in a trailer with his dog and his old truck at a camp site at the resort I go to get my physical therapy. He's on disability because his body's all busted up from a lifetime of hard labor.
When he first came out he had some "unforseen" expenses and I helped him out by bringing him food and gas for his truck until he got his next disability check.
Until, he let it slip that he spent hundreds of dollars on booze and drugs. After that my help stopped. I explained to him that I'm on disability because of my peripheral neuropathy and we have a tough time just breaking even every month. We've learned to prioritize our expenses and he needs to do the same.
Helping another person's fine but that person also needs to learn how to help himself.

 

[TACC1]

Not that it matters, but I've been trying to help out
a couple folks. With my meager assets, my dog eats
better than I do. Simply can't help 'em all.

 

[Wingmaster]

A big thumbs up to you and your wife.

Wing master

 

[Alk8944]

Paladin,

You and your wife know the situation and these people far better than anyone on this forum. If you have reached either the financial or emotional limit then you already have the answer. On the other hand, if you know they truly need the help and are not deliberately taking advantage of you because you are an easy mark, and you are financially able to keep helping, then you and your goodwife should take this question to the LORD for the correct answer. As for me, I will pray that you will be open and receptive to HIS leading in this matter.

I do support your reticence in providing money so he could self-medicate with alcohol however.

I would ask those who gave negative answers, if the situation as you described involved had been a blood relative instead of merely acquaintances, then how would they have responded?

 

[ancient-one]

Your wife was more than generous and caring. You did the right thing.
Happy Anniversary this weekend.

 

[jaykellogg]

IMHO you did the right thing and again IMO, you did it none too soon. As I read the account you wrote I lost almost all of my sympathy when the fellow wanted alcohol.

Perhaps if they continue to need help you can refer them to a church in the area.

 

[DeathGrip]

If I make 75 and still climb ladders I'll be happy. Buy that man a beer.

 

[S&WIowegan]

Even the Salvation Army has rules people have to follow to get help. Your wife is so compassionate she can't bring herself to set boundaries. It's a hard world and I'm glad there are some soft, loving people in it. I am probably too hard.

 

[Pete99004]

Both you and your bride have done the right thing John. You folks did the right thing by helping them in the beginning and the right thing now by letting them know that it has to end.

Hope you both have a great Anniversary - and many more to come.


Pete

 

[carpriver]

I spent over 20 years in the helping field, as social worker I have helped hundreds of people. There are a few people that take advantage of others and of the system. There comes a time when you have to cut to the chase and let people figure it out for themselves. We can't spend all our time taking care of one person/couple that won't work at helping themselves.

 

[rwsmith]

You have more faith.....

I spent over 20 years in the helping field, as social worker I have helped hundreds of people. There are a few people that take advantage of others and of the system. There comes a time when you have to cut to the chase and let people figure it out for themselves. We can't spend all our time taking care of one person/couple that won't work at helping themselves.

You have more faith in humanity that I do. I guess that's why you chose social work! I would expect that given a chance to take advantage of other people, the people that would do it are more than a 'few'.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

John; You & your wife have done enough for these folks. They are enablers & won't help themselves. Not the American way of doing work to get out of a hole they dug. By the way happy anniversary.