Differences between men & women

[CAJUNLAWYER]

So it's a quasi holiday and I go home for lunch. Wife & daughter are watching the noon day news and after a story about a woman who won a shopping spree at the local store she turns to me after a story and asks "so if you had 99 seconds to go through a grocery store where would you head first?" I respond "the booze section " (you know-the section behind the customer service desk where they keep the whiskey & cigarettes)and she looks at me like I'm crazy! She asks why I wouldn't go to the meat department. I tell her that booze doesn't go bad and I can trade a bottle of whiskey for meat anytime.
Sheesh...........women
Kinda like when she asks me "Do you think she's cute?" and I respond "YEA!!!!!!!!"
If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question!

 

[TACC1]

I'm guessing that she wasn't impressed with your explanation.....
TACC1

 

[cowboy117]

Cartons of cigarettes.Worth lots of money,weigh little.You could gather lots.

 

[P&R Fan]

Caj, the proper response to "do you think she's cute" is "not as cute as you, Doll".


I know a lot about women......However I don't understand ANY of it.

 

[handejector]

Kinda like when she asks me "Do you think she's cute?" and I respond "YEA!!!!!!!!"
If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question!

I didden think you 's that dumb. Drunk, a lot, maybe?

Differences between men & women

I was afraid there'd be pics when I saw the thread title and poster........

 

[spricks]

Yep +1 on the booze isle.... that would be a smart move. Besides the good meat is left in the cooler till the big event is over.
spricks

 

[oldfella]

If she were to ask you, "do you think I'm fat", what might your answer be?

is your detached garage heated?

Pete

 

[LouisianaJoe]

The wife comes home and asks her husband. "What's on TV?"

He replied "Dust"

 

[dhallz71]

The wife comes home and asks her husband. "What's on TV?"

He replied "Dust"

And then the fight started.

 

[rburg]

I was afraid there'd be pics when I saw the thread title and poster........

Its all in your perspective. I read the thread title, saw who started it, and was hoping for pix!

Hey Caje, you can PM them to those on your select list!

 

[M29since14]

...If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question!

That cute little notion never served to keep me out of trouble.

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

I should have known before I was married that my father in law died because he wanted to escape the MIL. I was not there, but I am now sure that he was fighting off the paramedics.

 

[enfield]

I should have known before I was married that my father in law died because he wanted to escape the MIL. I was not there, but I am now sure that he was fighting off the paramedics.

Ditto! My FIL was no saint, but he was a lion-tamer.

 

[Maximumbob54]

I bet you could add it up in a hurry in the dairy section with the prebagged shredded cheese. I guess that would make a good number three after the booze and then meats.

 

[CajunBass]

My wife once asked me "Does this skirt make my butt look big?" I replied "It's not the skirt."

Oddly enought, I'm still alive, and we're still married. She still let's me buy guns.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

My wife once asked me "Does this skirt make my butt look big?" I replied "It's not the skirt."

Oddly enought, I'm still alive, and we're still married. She still let's me buy guns.

At least you didn't get that "deer in the headlight" look and start wimpering!

 

[357larry]

I honestly witnessed this one at work a couple of years ago.

Female co-worker: Do these pants make my butt look big?

Male co-worker: No, but your butt makes your head look real small.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

Caj; Why not tell her to jump the counter & take the register?

 

[Tom M]

 

[rburg]

but I am now sure that he was fighting off the paramedics.

For about 10 years we had a semi-crazy girl at work. She had "redeeming features", if you know what I mean. But Debbie also came in with the wildest stories imaginable. Every sick day she took she came up with an even wilder story than the last one. When she was off, everyone would come to me and ask what it was this time.

When her father died, they were apparently all at home watching. Sort of sitting at his bedside. But when he finally had the "big one" he was pounding on his chest according to her. And was trying to give himself CPR. She never really stopped to think through her stories, like why didn't one of them help? Then it came to me. He felt his own heart start to beat again and was hitting it, trying to make it stop. How else would he escape that insane asylum?

I'm guessing fighting off the rescue workers may be more prevalent than we think.

 

[three-five-seven]

Differences .....

there was a poster that said he knew a lot about women. Its good thing he did not say "I know all about women.". Any guy that says he does knows nothing. Just be respectful to them and remember they look at life a bit differently. But we need them too. They need us also. And are there any women on this thread? I have a feeling no but I could be wrong as they have notposted any threads...just reading and thinking.

Viva the differences ! Women are great to hug too and they they are more loving than a Smith and Wesson. Unless its an X-wife.