JJEH
Member
One day I was getting the dirty laundry, take the hamper and walk over to the laundry room, halfway there I take the clothes out and put them in the kitchen trash can. Don't know why.
Dumb things we or a spouse have done...
- Thread starter Ron M.
- Start date
Rigor Mortis
Member
Married a red head. Have now been house trained.
Back in the early 70's my first wife was making enchiladas for the first time. She ran out of enchilada sauce. She substituted catsup! A tomato product is a tomato product, right? I did not know about this so when served took a big bite! Doesn't take much catsup to distinctively flavor enchiladas! 
We bought a boat...yes, I know....how dumb can you be? Later we sold the boat - guess we finally got some smarts. Then...we bought another boat...yes, I know....how dumb can you be? Last spring we sold that one too. Finally thought we were past this stuff and life can go on to bigger and better things. At this point I'm sure we are much better off and much smarter since we don't own a boat.
Last fall - we bought a boat, yes...I KNOW...HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE????
Pete99004
Last fall - we bought a boat, yes...I KNOW...HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE????
Pete99004
I can tell some real lulus on my wife......
I can tell some real lulus on my wife, but my lulus are so embarrassing it's too painful to bring up.
I can tell some real lulus on my wife, but my lulus are so embarrassing it's too painful to bring up.
Joni_Lynn
US Veteran
Getting married would be the dumbest thing I've ever done.
On a positive note, I can learn my lesson after making a mistake only once. (in this case)
On a positive note, I can learn my lesson after making a mistake only once. (in this case)
Last edited:
M E Morrison
Member
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
model70hunter
Member
In my first marriage, later confirmed in court as a mistake, my ex did not clean house, cook, wash dishes nor much of anything else, she could forge my signature and cash my pay check before I got home. I know I was stupid for staying so long.
One day she called me at my office. Old time telephones. One of my techs was sitting across from me while we discussed something.
When I answered she shrieked at high volume, where in, substitue sailor language, the blazes is the blazes blazes broom. With the first shriek I had jerked the phone from my ear and my tech heard all.
His eyes got large, I remained calm and said I don't know, where did you park it when you flew home last night.
My tech started smiling and ended up laughing so hard he slid out of the chair to the floor. The ole Ex heard his laugh and said someone is there and heard me didn't they? She slammed the phone and left me along for a few weeks.
My tech told that story to everyone and all had a good laugh.
After the kids and I divorced her a bunch of friends called and said good riddance none of us liked her and thought you waited too long. I said some worthless friends you guys and gals are, not a darn one of you owns a shovel... It brought another laugh.
One day she called me at my office. Old time telephones. One of my techs was sitting across from me while we discussed something.
When I answered she shrieked at high volume, where in, substitue sailor language, the blazes is the blazes blazes broom. With the first shriek I had jerked the phone from my ear and my tech heard all.
His eyes got large, I remained calm and said I don't know, where did you park it when you flew home last night.
My tech started smiling and ended up laughing so hard he slid out of the chair to the floor. The ole Ex heard his laugh and said someone is there and heard me didn't they? She slammed the phone and left me along for a few weeks.
My tech told that story to everyone and all had a good laugh.
After the kids and I divorced her a bunch of friends called and said good riddance none of us liked her and thought you waited too long. I said some worthless friends you guys and gals are, not a darn one of you owns a shovel... It brought another laugh.
model70hunter
Member
We have had cross messages and one or both of said we had similar qualities, snakes in the fridge is not one. I am beginning to figure it out, you have some similarities to my little Bro, so in a way we do know each other.
When we were little Mom had a nice new Maytag wringer washer. I think we probably did not have lots of clothes, on laundry day she'd tell us to hand over our outside clothes for the dirty and disgusting load. I remember it like it just happened yesterday.
Bro had on a pair of the old cargo type shorts with zip up pockets. They were zipped. He dropped them and headed outside in his Jockeys with the permanent racing stripe.
While I was dropping my cargo shorts Mom said, WELL YOUR BROTHER DID NOT EMPTY HIS POCKETS LIKE ALWAYS. make sure yours are empty and while she wuz instructin me for the 10,00th time she turned his pants upside down in the kitchen.
Stuff started hitting the floor, no money or any valuables to us, him yes. We called the little red stripe snake, worm snakes which were about 4-5" long grown. He had found the mother load, there must have been 15-20 looking for escape on the slick floor.
Mom's screams could have been heard on the next farm. She had this whooooop every time she went airborne and tried to fly. I gathered them up and pitched them close to the chicken pen.
Normally Lil Bro was successful in getting us both a peach tree limb spanking. That day I was an interested bystander.
Maybe I grinned some.
Once a 30" Copperhead crawled in where the screen door sagged and curled up between the fridge and the wall next to her cutting board. I was in the kitchen, maybe cleaning dad his gallon of onions and radishes. Mom did not say a word, she flushed red, she took that heavy wood cutting board and pulverized every bone in that snakes body. He too late in life learned to never get between a mother lion and her cubs. She flung the cutting board and the snake out in the back yard. Dad got it later for not fixing the door like she'd been asking.
Lil Bro got a peach tree limb for the little worm snakes, I've seen her in action, anyone that would have put a live Rattlesnake in her fridge would have got the cutting board, been pulverized and flung into the back yard.
Last edited:
One thing I can tell about in public is when I put a red shirt in the washing machine with My wife's whites,It was not until then that I found out She doesn't like the Color Pink.
I think the only dumb thing She did besides marrying Me was She had just spent $15.00 on a pair of Isotoner Gloves one winter and She set them on top of a wood burning stove to dry. She never knew you cant do that with polyester or nylon so when the stove cooled down I had to scrape the remains off of it.
I guess I have been lucky so far as that's the worst that has happened.Or that's all I will admit to.
I think the only dumb thing She did besides marrying Me was She had just spent $15.00 on a pair of Isotoner Gloves one winter and She set them on top of a wood burning stove to dry. She never knew you cant do that with polyester or nylon so when the stove cooled down I had to scrape the remains off of it.
I guess I have been lucky so far as that's the worst that has happened.Or that's all I will admit to.
gtk
Member
My wife is the worst driver I know (except for maybe my daughter). We hadn't been married long and she was driving us home one night, and I was complaining about her driving as usual.. We stopped by the gas station & i went in for something, and casually mentioned that I'd probably be safer walking home..
When I came back out, I got my wish
She was gone ..
I learned to either #1 -- Make sure I'm the driver when we go somewhere, or #2 -- Keep my mouth shut unless she's about to rear-end someone or run off the side of the road..
When I came back out, I got my wish
She was gone .. I learned to either #1 -- Make sure I'm the driver when we go somewhere, or #2 -- Keep my mouth shut unless she's about to rear-end someone or run off the side of the road..
captorquewrench
Member
I dropped my child off at school on a school holiday and then went on to work.
Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
Comrad
Member
Not if you choose wisely.
The wife reads your posts ?
M E Morrison
Member
Nope, but I have told her this more than once.
I doubt I'd still be alive if I hadn't married her.
Too much of a wild man - with no sense at all.
Not once but twice
I have driven 2 1/2 - 3 hours to the Rutledge Missouri fleamarket on the wrong weekend. First time with my Dad and the second time with my wife. When I told my wife that I had made this mistake once before she gave me holy heck on the way home. JA
I have driven 2 1/2 - 3 hours to the Rutledge Missouri fleamarket on the wrong weekend. First time with my Dad and the second time with my wife. When I told my wife that I had made this mistake once before she gave me holy heck on the way home. JA
I have pulled into a Chick-fil-a on a Sunday afternoon thinking "o good, they're not crowded".
my latest would be to put a trolling plate on my boat. was using my sholder to hold the plate up while i drilled the holes for the mount, this trolling plate does not lock in the up position. so i am drilling and get three of the four hole done on the last one the plate slips off of my shoulder and scrapes my face leaving me with a bloody wound. the worst of it is i learn with this type of trolling plate you cannot steer the boat at low speeds, so after about four tries of trying to get my boat on the trailer , i finally succeed . after i get home guess what, off comes the stupid trolling plate.
When we were first married my wife had purchased two nice cashmere sweaters. I was doing laundry one day, and I decided to do her a "favor" by washing them too.
When I took them out of the dryer I discovered, much to my chagrin, that they were now about the right size for a Barbie doll.
When I went to Dillards to buy replacements I discovered that cashmere ain't cheap. Lesson learned.
When I took them out of the dryer I discovered, much to my chagrin, that they were now about the right size for a Barbie doll.
When I went to Dillards to buy replacements I discovered that cashmere ain't cheap. Lesson learned.
Last edited:
model70hunter
Member
Laundry, fancy sweaters, hot water and dryer.
Shrinkage is guaranteed.
My job moved me 1/2 way across the state. Left the family at home. With force reduction wasn't sure if it was permanent.
Rented a room weekly in an old, very old Motel.
I soon met some locals at the morning coffee shop. The guys I worked with pointed me to one gent who owned several business' in town. He had just divorced, 3rd or 4th time, had a large house and was renting out the bedrooms to recently divorced guys in the area. One owned the jewelry store and the other was an engineer for some outfit in KC.
Pretty sweet setup. Multiple showers, free laundry, sort of like a more mature frat house. Occasionally we would eat out but mostly group cooked in. Played card games that did not cost money.
The little jewelry store owner had never done laundry before the divorce. HE was learning.
The engineer wore really nice sweaters too work, lots of V-necks with ties. Expensive.
One evening the landlord, the engineer and I got home at about the same moment. We went into the kitchen to grab a cold one.
The jeweler was dumping laundry on the kitchen table to fold it.
Folks aren't kidding when they say a cashmere sweater can go from a large size to one that would fit a toddler in one wash-dry cycle.
The jeweler was a small adult, probably never been to a knuckle bender.
The engineer was a large feller.
The jeweler pulled up a now small sweater and said what's this?
We looked at him. I think that the engineer and the jeweler recognized what it was at the same time. The jewelers jaw dropped, he did not know what to say, the engineer looked at the table and back at the jeweler with eyes squinted to tight no pupil was visible. His jaw muscles clinched tight as a nut under an air impact wrench.
The landlord and I watched, looked at each other thinking the town was gonna loose it's jeweler.
When the engineer walked in front of the launderer his face was red, when his arm snaked out to grab the sweater I think the jeweler wet his self.
Interesting days followed. The jeweler would hide in his room. The engineer finally caught him in the open, asked when he was gonna get new sweaters. The engineer was told there was not any money after wife kid and lawyer bills. The engineer said I did not ask you to do this, you trespassed into my room and damaged goods, I want sweaters.
The jeweler never bought them, the engineer kept directing dagger stares at the little jeweler, we thought he would snap but he finally moved out.
The moral is the same one my good wife preached to me when we were married, read the tag for instructions.
Shrinkage is guaranteed.
My job moved me 1/2 way across the state. Left the family at home. With force reduction wasn't sure if it was permanent.
Rented a room weekly in an old, very old Motel.
I soon met some locals at the morning coffee shop. The guys I worked with pointed me to one gent who owned several business' in town. He had just divorced, 3rd or 4th time, had a large house and was renting out the bedrooms to recently divorced guys in the area. One owned the jewelry store and the other was an engineer for some outfit in KC.
Pretty sweet setup. Multiple showers, free laundry, sort of like a more mature frat house. Occasionally we would eat out but mostly group cooked in. Played card games that did not cost money.
The little jewelry store owner had never done laundry before the divorce. HE was learning.
The engineer wore really nice sweaters too work, lots of V-necks with ties. Expensive.
One evening the landlord, the engineer and I got home at about the same moment. We went into the kitchen to grab a cold one.
The jeweler was dumping laundry on the kitchen table to fold it.
Folks aren't kidding when they say a cashmere sweater can go from a large size to one that would fit a toddler in one wash-dry cycle.
The jeweler was a small adult, probably never been to a knuckle bender.
The engineer was a large feller.
The jeweler pulled up a now small sweater and said what's this?
We looked at him. I think that the engineer and the jeweler recognized what it was at the same time. The jewelers jaw dropped, he did not know what to say, the engineer looked at the table and back at the jeweler with eyes squinted to tight no pupil was visible. His jaw muscles clinched tight as a nut under an air impact wrench.
The landlord and I watched, looked at each other thinking the town was gonna loose it's jeweler.
When the engineer walked in front of the launderer his face was red, when his arm snaked out to grab the sweater I think the jeweler wet his self.
Interesting days followed. The jeweler would hide in his room. The engineer finally caught him in the open, asked when he was gonna get new sweaters. The engineer was told there was not any money after wife kid and lawyer bills. The engineer said I did not ask you to do this, you trespassed into my room and damaged goods, I want sweaters.
The jeweler never bought them, the engineer kept directing dagger stares at the little jeweler, we thought he would snap but he finally moved out.
The moral is the same one my good wife preached to me when we were married, read the tag for instructions.
Last edited:
My dearly beloved wife once started bidding against me at an antique auction...
...and I finally got her to say "brewery" instead of "beer factory."
John
P.S. I myself have never done anything dumb...
...and I finally got her to say "brewery" instead of "beer factory."
John
P.S. I myself have never done anything dumb...
357-RevolverGuy
Member
Took my wife target shooting the other day. She complained about my Ruger 10/22 rifle being too heavy and I tried to get her to lighten up and hold it a certain way so that the weight would distribute better... She ruined a perfectly good range day complaining the whole time and we ended up going home.
Week later we're at a gun shop and while I'm looking around she picks up a 10/22 (same model as mine) and says, "hun this is perfect! This is the kind of rifle I need." Oh brother, I tell her that's the same one she shot the other day. "Then why is this one lighter?" It wasn't. Only difference was it had a pink stock.
Week later we're at a gun shop and while I'm looking around she picks up a 10/22 (same model as mine) and says, "hun this is perfect! This is the kind of rifle I need." Oh brother, I tell her that's the same one she shot the other day. "Then why is this one lighter?" It wasn't. Only difference was it had a pink stock.
Last edited:
Ed Fowler
Member
The biggest mistake I made was getting married - 3 times.
After reading the OP I asked my wife what she had done today that was dumb.
She said she has never done anything dumb, but that I just did and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
She said she has never done anything dumb, but that I just did and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
When I was just a young man I had an old Winchester 1890 something.
Octagon barrel, .22LR, tube feed. The main thing about it was a beautiful
stock. A dark wood with gold inlaid hunting scenes on both sides.
There were millions of jack rabbits out in the sagebrush in southeast
Idaho (probably still are). I shot a bunch of them that day. The last
one I shot only crippled him. I was out of ammo. Dumb me. I gave
him the coup de grace with my rifle stock. It broke. My Dad glued it
together, but it was never the same. I gave it to my Grandson.
Octagon barrel, .22LR, tube feed. The main thing about it was a beautiful
stock. A dark wood with gold inlaid hunting scenes on both sides.
There were millions of jack rabbits out in the sagebrush in southeast
Idaho (probably still are). I shot a bunch of them that day. The last
one I shot only crippled him. I was out of ammo. Dumb me. I gave
him the coup de grace with my rifle stock. It broke. My Dad glued it
together, but it was never the same. I gave it to my Grandson.
We had a major failure of the hot water heater in our home.
When the plumber installed the new tank, he ripped out a bunch of soaked drywall next to the tank on an outside wall. The fiberglass insulation in this area was also ruined.
I decided to repair this by filling the void with expanding foam insulation and covering it with a piece of plywood cut to fit.
Good plan except for two things- the foam insulation is incredibly flammable and gaseous when uncured and second- it is a GAS hot water heater with a pilot light.
About ten seconds into spraying the foam I heard a THUD-WOOSH and luckily my reflex reaction was to turn my back immediately. A large fireball blew against my back as the fumes from the foam reached the pilot light. I had singed hair on my head, and both arms, but no burns due to my quick spin move. The foam caught fire and I had to throw a soda I'd been drinking on it to put out the fire.
As I walked to the bathroom to check myself over, I said- out loud- Stupid-Stupid-Stupid-Stupid.. My wife asked what happend and when I told her, she agreed. Stupid.
When the plumber installed the new tank, he ripped out a bunch of soaked drywall next to the tank on an outside wall. The fiberglass insulation in this area was also ruined.
I decided to repair this by filling the void with expanding foam insulation and covering it with a piece of plywood cut to fit.
Good plan except for two things- the foam insulation is incredibly flammable and gaseous when uncured and second- it is a GAS hot water heater with a pilot light.
About ten seconds into spraying the foam I heard a THUD-WOOSH and luckily my reflex reaction was to turn my back immediately. A large fireball blew against my back as the fumes from the foam reached the pilot light. I had singed hair on my head, and both arms, but no burns due to my quick spin move. The foam caught fire and I had to throw a soda I'd been drinking on it to put out the fire.
As I walked to the bathroom to check myself over, I said- out loud- Stupid-Stupid-Stupid-Stupid.. My wife asked what happend and when I told her, she agreed. Stupid.
rdcl
Member
One of the dumbest things I ever did.
Many years ago I was changing the oil in my car. When I finished pouring in the 4 new quarts of oil I was shocked to see a huge puddle growing under the car!
I had forgotten to screw the drain plug back into the pan!
Thank God I did not start the car up. After cleaning up the mess (as best I could without moving the car)I luckily had extra Quarts of oil......and I damn sure put the plug in first.
If I had started the car I wonder how many seconds before the motor would have locked up.
Russ
Many years ago I was changing the oil in my car. When I finished pouring in the 4 new quarts of oil I was shocked to see a huge puddle growing under the car!
I had forgotten to screw the drain plug back into the pan!
Thank God I did not start the car up. After cleaning up the mess (as best I could without moving the car)I luckily had extra Quarts of oil......and I damn sure put the plug in first.
If I had started the car I wonder how many seconds before the motor would have locked up.
Russ
