Emotional roller coaster

[JohnRippert]

Yesterday I had to make the decision to put Mom in hospice care at a nearby nursing home. One of the hardest things I have ever done was admitting that I could no longer take care of her at home like I have been

Today I went in for my one year post heart attack nuclear stress test. Turns out I have no other blockages, the stent on my LAD artery is working perfect and is wide open, and the only remains of the heart attack is some very minor scarring in the lower muscle of the heart which will cause no issues in function going forward. I get to stop the anti platelet clumping medicine when I run out of my current prescription.

Sometimes you win and lose and the same time.

 

[wuluf]

Sorry to hear about your Mom, it's a tough call to have to make but by the time you make it, it's the right one. I'm 11 years post heart attack, with two stents. Didn't think i'd make it this long!

 

[Fishinfool]

John - I am sorry to hear about your mom. I went down the same road with mine years ago.

Right now the wound is fresh, but I think you will soon realize it was probably the right decision for your mother. I believe she will be more comfortable.

I have nothing but good karma for Hospice staff. They are a cut above, and your mom is in good hands.

And congrats on the good Dr.'s report - That has to be a weight off your shoulders.

Larry

 

[Rustyt1953]

Dreadfully sorry about your mom. I pray for a gentle, peacefull passing.

I have preached before that I believe there are fewer higher callings than long-term Alzheimer's/dementia and hospice nurses. It takes a heart made of compassion, love, devotion and steel to carry out those missions of mercy. I hold them in the highest regard.

I have long followed your journey with your mom.

"Dutiful son" applies.

 

[Piwo]

May God sustain you in these times and challenges. We had to put my mom in hospice some years back. My two sisters were living with her and gave her round the clock care. We had to do it because it was literally harder on them than my mother. That is often the case. The stress was affecting their health. Once we did that their health and situation improved. My mom was more comfortable because she then had 3 shifts of people caring for her. I'm sure you have done all that is humanly possible for your mother. Our mothers are the nearest and dearest to all of us but we all have human limitations. May God give his choicest blessings to your mom.

 

[TX-Dennis]

Life is filled with difficult decisions. I'm confident that you've made the right one - it's often the only choice that really helps. A number of family members spent their last days in hospice care including both my mom and my dad.

Prayers for peace and comfort during her last days however long or short they may be.

 

[LVSteve]

I had to put my first wife into a skilled nursing center because I couldn't look after her at home and go to work. It sucked, but it had to be done so she received proper care and I retained my sanity.

 

[mckenney99]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I know it is one of the toughest decisions you'll ever make. I can't add words of wisdom that have not already been expressed. I'll just add that you and your mom will be added to my prayers tonight.

 

[jimmyj]

In the past I took care of my Mother at home, than my Father, and then my wife. At the end Hospice came in to the home at the end. These Nurses are God's Angels on Earth. When my Wife devolved terminal cancer I was her care giver for over 2.5 years. Also at the end Hospice also came into the home. In all three of my family cases after Hospice came in their ends were just days.

 

[lihpster]

John, my heart goes out to you. As you may know, I recently had to make that decision myself. I was my father's 24/7 caregiver for 3 years before I made that decision. I am still dealing with the mental and physical toll that takes. Hardest decision I ever had to make, even though the right path was clear. I applaud you for making the right call for both your mom and you.
And Rusty is right about the nurses being angels. Blessed are the caregivers, both family and professional, for their hearts are pure. John, you are a good man, one I'm proud to call friend. I wish peace for both of you, and continued good health for you.Take care, my friend,
Phil

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

Been there. Done that. Was a heart breaker.

 

[Golddollar]

Yesterday I had to make the decision to put Mom in hospice care at a nearby nursing home. One of the hardest things I have ever done was admitting that I could no longer take care of her at home like I have been

I have a lot of experience observing caregivers in my family and as a member of a support group for ALS patients and their families. I watched my dad take care of my mother and my recently departed uncle (Pop's oldest brother) take care of my aunt, his wife of 63 years. One big thing I learned in the ALS support group was the stress and strain that is visited upon the caregivers.

Pop hired a Certified Nurse's Assistant (CNA) for Mom. That enabled him to keep working to pay the bills and I have no doubt that it preserved his good health so that we had him with us for another 24 years after Mom died. My uncle did his best to take care of my aunt but it became a struggle toward the end because of her dementia. My uncle and I were very close and I finally said to him that when Pop was taking care of Mom Pop was 20 years younger that what my uncle was. Happily, my uncle listened to me and brought in some caregiving help for my aunt.

Hospice can do some wonderful things. On the next to last day of his life, hospice got Pop out of the hospital and on a Sunday acquired a hospital bed and set it up in the house so Pop could look out over his beloved Lake Erie. Getting out of the hospital was one of Pop's final wishes and hospice made it happen.

So hold your head up and keep in mind that you have done the best you could for your mother and for yourself.

 

[DEF3]

Sorry to hear, my fathers reaching that point too. It’s tough, happy to hear good results for yourself.

 

[Model 15-4ever]

The best decisions are often the hardest to make. This may be a blessing in disguise for your Mom's health care, and your own. I pray it is for the best.

 

[Tom Beavert]

Sorry to hear about your Mom, We will pray.
Tom B

 

[servmgr64]

hospice

My mother passed away in January this year. She was put on hospice home care in August of 2021. They came in every day for an hour and helped her with everything. They were/are awesome and very gracious in their care for her. She was 65 miles away and I was there at least 2 days a week taking care of the other stuff. She died on a Thursday night in her bed at home, and it was the way she wanted to go. The last few days when she was slipping away they were the best and provided comfort for her and her family. I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through this but pray that your experience with hospice is as positive as it was for our family.

Scott

 

[targetchief]

So sorry to hear about your mom. You have done the best thing possible for her comfort and care. I hear lots of people say how the feel they have failed a loved one because they had to put them in a long term care or hospice facility. When it reaches a certain point this is the greatest act of love and the best possible thing for their care. I went thru this with my mom who passed 2 1/2 years ago from Alzheimer’s.


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[Toyman]

We get done raising our children then we take care of our parents. Sometimes do both at the same time.

 

[Model 19 6"]

Prayers for your mom and yourself.

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

The Bible says........" In time. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son"..........They took care of us. Now we take care of them.

 

[woodsltc]

John, others have already expressed my thoughts. All I will add is prayers that your mom's final days will be peaceful .... and congrats on your cardio checkup.

Don

 

[BKLooney]

Sorry to hear about you mom, I've been through the same, it's tough to go through.

 

[oldbrownhat]

John, this brings back what my gf went through with her mum last year. It was even more stressful as her mum lived on Vancouver Island and S is in Bellingham WA, so she had to cross the border and take a ferry, in all, about 5 hrs. travelling. So even regular visits over the years were time-consuming.

She had lived independently in her small home, with "the two things that made life worth living"- her garden and her cat (one of many over the years) but eventually she couldn't cope as a melanoma she hadn't attended to in time began to spread last winter. We had hoped to find a place for her over here on the mainland where we could both visit easily but it was not to be.

Long story short, S went to visit over on Easter break last spring, eventually having to extend her stay and do some lectures online from her mum's place before Ma had to go into Palliatave Care, which was superb. S was run absolutely ragged by the strain of that visit and was sitting on the curb in tears with the cat in its carrier, waiting for the local cat shelter to come and take him back. (He had come from there and knew Ma and the cat quite well!) Then she drove to the ferry. She had a few days at home, then had to go back. I went over to be with them - also about 5 hrs and a ferry, although no border to contend with. Ma died at 94, fortunately fully compos mentos right to the end.

S still doesn't know how she coped wth the strain, which subsequently involved going back to organize clearing out the house, but she did. She simply had to as there were no siblings. I went over a few times, too.

But you've done the right thing, as painful as it is.

 

[JohnRippert]

Thank you for all the words of encouragement and support. One of the things that is so good about this forum is the community here.

 

[Babysitr]

Wishing you only the best going forward!

 

[mike4sigs]

Good thought and Prayers for you and your mom

 

[dmn57]

Sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my dad in May, 16 days shy of 94 years of age, after a relatively brief but intense illness. It's never easy.

 

[jscheck]

Sorry to hear about your mom but it sounds as if you did everything you could (personally) for her. For the best of care you sometimes need to call in the pros. Very glad you heart tests came out good! We need you here on the board!