What is the build date of the gun w/ safety you've tried? My May 2014 M&P 9 w/TS has a pretty positive safety engagement. I've read reports of the safeties accidentally flipping on during shooting, but I just can't see that happening to mine, with the right grip anyway. My M&P 9's safety isn't QUITE as positive as my Shield's, but it's close.
Maybe the newer guns with the newer sear housing have a more positive safety system.
If I'm not mistaken, I think the safety lever could easily be modified to be one-sided instead of ambi. It's just a sheetmetal piece that can be trimmed. In fact, if you could even likely plug that side of the frame with an OEM frame plug after you trimmed the safety lever.