Feeling Violated

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butchd

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In 2006 I found blood in my urine. Two big, cancerous tumors were in my bladder. One day in the hospital for a surgury that needed no incision and several years of chemical treatments and the cancer is gone. All of this required dozens of catherizations. It is down to one a year, now and today was the day. I was always a modest man but I have learned to have a pleasant chat with the nurses as they rub me down with Betadine in preparation for the event. I hope that it is paranoia but I have to believe that there are three nurses who are talking with their mates about the bearded guy with the upper body of an NFL tackle and the lower body of Barney Fife. I'll let you imagine the jokes that I could make but I'll wait for the proctoscope that I've been promised in a few months when I can really be the butt of those jokes. It was not a high water mark but I count myself fortunate when I hear of the folks who have to have all the plumbing removed and have a bladder made from part of the small intestine and carry a bag for life. Not so violated as I thought.
 
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It sounds as though things have gone much better than they might have, all in all. Don't worry about the proctoscope. I've had to do the "up periscope" thing three or four times now. It's really no big deal. (And remember, they've already heard all the jokes.)
 
The nicest (?) thing about the procto is that you will not remember it. The anesthesia works.
 
My wife is a urology nurse.
She has seen it all and really doesn't enjoy working urology (she usually only does it once a week).
Guys are easier to work on than women.... Oh the horror stories she can tell... :eek:
 
Foley's are definitely no fun. It is amazing though how fast you get to living without any kind of privacy in the hospital. On one of the last days of my hospital stay I was taking pictures of all the nurses, doctors, aides, & therapists that had put me back on my feet. As I thumbed through the pics I had taken I realized something about the pic of the therapists that made me smile. When I was asked by one of them what was so funny, I told her "I can honestly say I've taken a shower with every woman in this picture!" They all got a big kick out of that!:D:cool:
 
butchd, I'm a bladder cancer survivor myself, and I know well whereof you speak.

Not to brag, but you and I both know that we are the studs of the cancer-treated portion of the male population.:D I've probably had four or five dozen "trans-urethral" events -- between surgeries, treatments, and check-ups -- and I kid you not that my urology guy and I carry on a normal banter now while he does his once-a-year checkups with the scope.

It's all proof that we humans can get used to just about anything. I never would have believed it, but it's true.

Good luck to you, stay strong, and next time your buddies are bragging about how tough they are, just smile to yourself and try to suppress the urge to describe your last procedure to them, and watch 'em bend over, grab their crotches, and groan in imagined agony!
 
mjr said:
It sounds as though things have gone much better than they might have, all in all. Don't worry about the proctoscope. I've had to do the "up periscope" thing three or four times now. It's really no big deal. (And remember, they've already heard all the jokes.)
Click to expand...

Funniest part is, they don't let you leave after the procedure until you have passed gas! When I found that out, my first time, while I was still a bit "under the influence" of that stuff that makes you not remember anything, I waited until the nurse had left the room, then I put both hands up against my mouth and made the loudest farting noise I could, just to mess with 'em! It was hilarious.:D
 
timn8er said:
Foley's are definitely no fun. It is amazing though how fast you get to living without any kind of privacy in the hospital. On one of the last days of my hospital stay I was taking pictures of all the nurses, doctors, aides, & therapists that had put me back on my feet. As I thumbed through the pics I had taken I realized something about the pic of the therapists that made me smile. When I was asked by one of them what was so funny, I told her "I can honestly say I've taken a shower with every woman in this picture!" They all got a big kick out of that!:D:cool:
Click to expand...

I had a long spell in hospital before cellphones and digital cameras so I missed out on that gag. I do remember the first time I was rolled down to the showers to be hosed off. I also had long hair and the rather buxom nurse kindly offered to wash it.:cool: I thought she would spin the chair round and do it from behind like you see in a hairdresser. Oh no, she attacked from the front. Remember I mentioned she was somewhat buxom?!:D After a few minutes of nearly getting my eyes poked out in the nicest way I was hosed down for a final rinse, given some towels to help dry up the vital parts and wheeled back to the ward.

My buddies came to visit that evening and listened to this story with big eyes. "Wow, that must have been embarrassing" they kept saying. I entirely missed their point until one of them said, "But surely you must have had some kind of reaction". Then I understood. When I told them no, they all looked at each other and said, "Man, you must be REALLY sick."
 
I too had the horror of blood in urine at about the same time, Jan '07. I also had multiple bladder tumors, Stage III invasive, and a strong family history of cancer. I sought multiple opinions and was directed to the IU Cancer Pavilion near my home in Indy. Major surgery was the collective opinion.

Huge incision sturnum to my "stem". (I don't think that's where the Stem to Stern phrase came from.:rolleyes:) I lost all my plumbing south of kidneys, and now live with an internal bladder made of a still living section of my large intestine. No external bags, but I cath the "IU Pouch" every few hours thru an ab stoma. It's a new life of equipment, tubes, bandages, routines, and meds. There are worse alternatives. It's my new normal and I offer thanks daily.
 
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I admire your enduring what seems to me the most invasive surgury that I have ever heard of. Why I escaped, I don't know. I remember my Doctor's telling me but I don't recall his description. My father and mother died with cancer and two of three sisters have had bouts with it. I, the brilliant wonder boy, smoked three packs for years and it seems smoking is the main cause. One of the many benefits of treatments is you can't smoke in a hospital thus, I quit just before they hit 5 bucks a pack. A few months ago a friend had to have an invasive surgury and I was amazed when he told what was required. BCG treatments where they instill a form of TB into the bladder which is attacked by our immune system and at the same time attacks the cancer was my Doctor's reccomendation. I salute your courage and hope you continue to prosper.
 
butchd
Thx for your kind words. Technology is racing to conquer conditions like ours daily. I hope your prognosis remains bright as well.
 
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